What’re the lulziest “recipes” you’ve seen for “family meal”-type slop?

reality: over doing fool: What’re the lulziest “recipes” you’ve seen for “family meal”-type slop?
Because apparently if it is for “family,” it is allowed to be mostly salt, and combining three Kraft Foods products means you are “cooking.”

Earlier this week somebody suggested “garbage meals,” “basically a casserole of anything that can be edible together,” and offered a suggested one that was a couple of cans mixed with a can of cream of mushroom soup, that made a sort of…soup-mess. Today somebody posted a recipe for “hot dogs in homemade sauce” which involved simmering hot dogs in ketchup with added sugar.

EW

For better or worse this stuff makes me laugh like crazy. Here is my all-time favourite in this genre:

https://allrecipes.com//Recipe/rice-puree/Detail.aspx

Can you better it?
Apparently that’s a known variant called “American goulash.” I had no idea! My mother made a slop with macaroni, tinned tomatoes, and broccoli…

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_goulash

Re. crackers: via Newborn & Baby the other week, I discovered
(The thing about the “rice puree” w/salty canned soup — it’s supposed to be _baby food_!)

Answers and Views:

Answer by Bella
That’s a nice word for what me and my friends term “ghetto” food. I think the worst I’ve seen is Spaghetti-o Surprise

1 can spaghettios
4 cut up hotdogs
1 sleeve Ritz crackers
can of cheese soup

you know what to do.

Answer by Grayson
I remember laughing at the Duggars recipe for Tater Tot Casserole. I had no idea it was a rather ‘popular’ meal.

My mother made Goulash – it was macaroni noodles with stewed tomatoes and tomato juice with any type of canned vegetable found in the cabinet added to it. It was awful!!!!

Answer by Cheshire Cat
30 or 40 minutes to simmer rice? If you have 30 or 40 minutes why use canned soup?

Answer by ~~Erin~~ Sophie due July 20th!
A type of slop meal my mom made was called “Hobo Stew”. It was really good, honestly. Cheap and good. Brown ground beef in a skillet with onions, drain the grease, and add baked beans to it. Yummy.

I love goulash and chicken casserole. Impossible cheeseburger pie is good, too. And a good way to get my kids to eat their veggies is to make macaroni and cheese and mix peas in with it, LOL. My dad did that for us, and I’ve done it for my kids. Hey, if they eat it and it’s got what they need in it, I’ll make it.

Once again, I have to agree with Mom of Ethan and Sophie.

Answer by adrian♥ Baby Beau is here!
Get over yourself, please.

Not everyone has the time to make chicken cordon bleu with potatoes julienne every night.

I guess I’m a terrible mom for making chicken casserole with canned chicken breast, some cooked pasta, and cream of chicken soup. Oh, don’t forget the crushed potato chip topping. I feel so luzly.

Answer by Jillian
Is that recipe for someone who just had all their teeth removed??

The hot dog recipe reminded me of my friend whose “specialty” is hot dogs on the grill, placed in a “boat” of aluminum foil simmering in bbq sauce and beer.

My mom had something she cooked for my brother that she called Cut Up Meat. It was some cut of beef or steak cut up, dredged in flour, then fried. My grandma had some horrible “salads” with jello and shredded carrots. One thing she still makes is called Ribbon Salad. It is red and green jello with a layer of Miracle Whip on the bottom.

I am ashamed to admit it, but I’ve made a few of those horrible casseroles with mushroom soup. I’ve even made the tator tot cass. mentioned above. It was awful and my stepson wouldn’t eat it. There was a time when I thought fixing a box of mac and cheese was real cooking.

Answer by Michelle
Um … The rice and broccoli sound OK. But if I were to make that recipe, I would throw out the cream of mushroom junk and the broth. Replace them with a little velveeta and pepper to kinda glue the rice and broccoli together 🙂 And I would serve them beside a chicken breast and some ketchup.

My kid’s dad and I had a traveling job when I got pregnant. We stayed with a lady who helped raise him while we looked for a better job. One day she was kind enough to ask what I like to eat. I told her that I had a craving for a taco salad. She told me that she makes real good salads!

A few hours later I walked in the kitchen to see her mixing together:
2 pounds of ground meat
2 pounds of off-brand Velveeta
ketchup
taco seasoning
and a HUGE bag of nacho cheese flavored Doritos!

She cooked it for a while and plopped this gooey mess of soggy chips covered in meat and cheese on my plate. It was so gross!

Soon after, I learned that for many people, “salad” is a fancy word for pouring cheese and/or mayonnaise on food that would have been recognizable.

Answer by daa
I don’t think I can beat the rice puree or Spaghetti-o surprise. Ugh.

One of my mother’s ‘slop’ recipes was canned cream of mushroom soup and canned tuna, heated up and spooned over toasted white bread. I remember actually liking it as a kid. (Kids are weird.)

I don’t have the time or energy to make gourmet meals every night, but even a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or a bowl of cereal would be better than some of this stuff. 😉

Answer by pdooma
If it comes in a box, it’s probably junk.

Healthy food doesn’t have to take a very long time, if you have some clue what you’re doing. Toss some olive oil, spicy mustard, and garlic together and you have an easy marinade for chicken or pork. Throw it in the oven with a couple of baking potatoes or sweet potatoes until they’re all done. Dump frozen green beans or peas in a dish with some water, microwave for a couple minutes and you’re done. If you want, cut up some fruit to go with or make a quick green salad. I spend generally 10 minutes of prep, shove stuff in the oven and then another 5 minutes or so pulling it all together and dinner is done. All that “cook time” is time I can spend doing something else.

Answer by Gibby Girl + 2 L’s
My girlfriend makes her kids “homemade” mac and cheese all the time. she thinks it’s great because “it has veggies”! LOL

Macaroni noodles
1 can Cream of mushroom soup
1 can Cheddar Cheese soup
1/2 cup Cheese Whiz
1 CAN (gag) mixed veggies

NAS-TY!!!!!

I would rather eat grilled cheese all day everyday instead!

Answer by Leahs mommy
I have a baby food cookbook that has a recipe for Mac n cheese.

3ounces VELVEETA
1/4 cup cooked macaroni noodles
2 tbsp cooked peas

And if the child is toothless, you purée it. This portion is supposedly just for one serving for one child.

Since I like you so much, I dug the book out for the recipe.

Answer by Lilly’s mommy! is EXPECTING
Lol. This reminds me of the time I tried to make something kinda like that. I put frozen veggies, boiled chicken, and multigrain pasta and mixed it all up with some tomato-y stuff. The recipe said to use tomato juice and chicken broth of which I made all natural. I burned it… but reguardless it was a disaster meal… It made me hate cooking. Now I’m having to force myself to cook stuff. Tonight for example, I started a roast with potatoes, carrots, celery, and onion in the oven for 3-4 hours… can’t really mess that up!

My little one is still on a food strike…

Answer by Mom of Ethan and Sophie
Let me approach this in a manner you might not have considered…. Yes, those recipes may seem gross to you, but the main thing is that they are cheap! Many Americans just don’t have a lot of money. You seem to be somewhat well off, you are one of the lucky ones. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to feed a family of 4 on a salary of $ 9.00 an hour? Velveeta cheese is by far cheaper then a block of yarsboro cheese. A box of Kraft macaroni and cheese is WAY more affordable then a box of “fancy noddles”. Frozen and canned veggies are cheaper then fresh veggies. Canned fruit is often times cheaper then fresh fruit(at least around here, it is). Unfortunately, the cheapest foods here in America are the ones that are the most unhealthy. Canned soups are cents not dollars compared to making your own. Frozen pizzas, white bread, boxed meals are much more affordable then anything you could make fresh “from scratch”. Hot dogs are cheaper then chicken breast. Hamburger is cheaper then fresh salmon. So, for someone who has to stretch an ALREADY thin dollar, this is where most of it gets cut. You have to have toilet paper, you have to have clothes, you don’t have to have cuisine….

So, yeah, some of these recipes seem gross to you, but they are the staple of many of my American family and friends. It’s a sad sight, but something you might remember before making fun of someone. It really is all that some people can afford. Sad to say that nutrition has been left by the way side so they can afford to have something to eat every day every meal.

Answer by dmg
I make a dish, based on something that my mother used to make which is ground beef, onions, macaroni, canned tomatoes, smothered in cheddar and baked in the oven. The sh!t ain’t fancy, but it is goooooood.

Edited: I do agree that a lot of this has to to with money and working a lot. When my parent retired and sold their house and got their finances together, their cuisine much improved. In terms of “ghoulash” my Mom used to make something that she called that, but my sister and I privately referred to as “stringy meat with noodles.” There was definitely a can of mushroom soup involved. My MIL makes a tuna casserole that my husband loves, so one day I decided to make it, only less “soupy” – you know, same basic stuff but better. A real sauce, quality cheese. He did not like it.

Answer by ♥Fancy♥
I’m just bummed that there is no picture to go along with the rice puree crap. Condensed soups have far too much sodium for babies and young children. They can’t even get enough liquid to fix that kind of dehydration. I don’t think I can top that one… it’s disgusting.

Answer by rainwriterm
I can’t quite compete with your examples, but we have a few comfort foods, courtesy of our parents, that are pretty “lulzy.”

Tonight we’re having hamburger strogonoff over rehydrated potato flakes, thanks to my husband’s ridiculously stressful day. A pound of ground beef, a package of beefy onion soup mix, a can of cream of mushroom soup, half a pint of sour cream, and, of course, the rehydrated potato flakes. If I were to dump in a can of mixed veggies instead of having a salad, we’d have what, apparently, he grew up in the midwest calling a “hot dish.”
https://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-a-hotdish.htm

Chili pinwheels also occasionally make an acceptable lunch: home made biscuit dough filled with canned chili, prepared like cinnamon rolls. Apparently, this only works as comfort food when it’s made with canned chili because the one time I made them with my homemade chili, they just didn’t have the desired comforting effect and were classified as “not bad but not something I want to eat again.”

Answer by Deans
My husband is would gag at the thought of me making something like this. He doesn’t like any thrown together casserole or meal in one type thing. I will about once a week prepare Kraft mac and cheese to go along with chicken and string beans…but that’s a “boxy” as it gets in our house. If I sat a plate of chopped up hot dogs mixed with mac and cheese, my husband would think an alien had overtaken my body. If we are going to eat something that unhealthy…it is because we have gone out for Mexican night.
* I think the question earlier today with the hot dog chunks mixed with mac & cheese took the cake for me. I will consider myself very fortunate to have never eaten that combo.
*I guess I will also consider myself very lucky to be able to afford healthier, tastier alternatives like veggies with every meal. Though, I know for a fact that if money was extremely tight, I would have a large garden in my back yard…canning and freezing what we didn’t eat fresh for the cold months. As it is I have a small one now…and I love it.

Answer by Danielle ♦ C & A’s Mommy
Peanut Butter and Jelly tacos. They sound disgusting.

Answer by BB*Carson Elizabeth’s Mummy*
Wait, wait, wait. Goulash is made with canned tomatoes? That’s one step healthier than my mom’s equivalent…tomato soup instead of stewed tomatoes. The “added veggie” was an onion. And it was accompanied with mashed potatoes swimming in butter. Potatoes are a veggie!

Did any of your moms make hamburg and french fries at least once a week for supper? That is, fried, ground beef over a pile of fries. Yes, this was an actual meal. No side dishes or flavours, for that matter, other than fat.

And then there was her “Chinese food”, which was a package of ground beef (seeing a trend here?), a can of bean sprouts, and a can of those crunchy noodle things you get on some chicken dishes at chinese restaurants…throw all of those into a roast pan with loads of soy sauce, and bake the shit out of everything. Serve…with french fries, of course.

I’m seriously surprised I’m not overweight or battling high blood pressure. Shockingly, my father has already had a heart attack, before age 50.

Answer by abc123
When we were kids we would eat butter sandwiches. It was plain bread, spread some cold butter on it, and sprinkle sugar on top. Talk about unhealthy. I have no idea why we ate that or who came up with it but just the thought of it makes me sick now.

EDIT: Oh yeah, and as a kid my husband has peanut butter and miracle whip sandwiches. The sad part is he really likes them and still eats them. I gag when I see the knife in the sink that he’s dipped in to both. lol

Answer by Diet C
Barfy…

Ketchup Bread:
Tater-tot hot dog casserole:

and on and on and on.

Cooks.com is a wealth of mix this can with that box and that bag for something that looks and smells like something you’d dump in the toilet to get out of going to school.

Gross, but nothing tops that spaghetti-o surprise, ech.

A few people made comments about money matters. Not something I have to worry about anymore, my husband does well, but I grew up poor. Single mom, two kids to feed, deadbeat dad. Money was tight and my mom worked at a not high paying job for long hours. We never ate that sort of willy-nilly donation box round up.
She couldn’t cook well, but she did cook actual food. I actually never knew people ate like this until I started looking for recipes online and this sort of stuff would pop up, and that I’m thankful for.

Answer by Consider the Lilies
Did you know there are cookbooks devoted to cooking with nothing but canned foods? Eg.’ The Can Opener Gourmet’ and sequel ‘Pop it, Stir it, Fix it, Serve it.’

Ew.

Answer by ♥ ♥umm sarah♥ ♥
The most jaw dropping one i must say is “cracker salad”. That’s truly unreal.

I am a stay at home so I have more time to cook and prepare true hot meals.

Maybe if I was a full time working mom and wasn’t financially stable, them maybe I would be making a “lulzy” meal.

Even then I don’t think eating healthy is that expensive. Whole wheat pasta and bread cost almost the same as the white stuff. Nothing wrong with frozen veggies. They also have sodium free soup and broths.

Answer by km&g
Answering this really late, but wanted to chime in and say that my husband made me make him Tater Tot Casserole (we actually call it “White Trash Casserole”) for his birthday dinner. I have no idea whyyy he chose it, but. it’s a mixture of ground beef, onion, cream of mushroom soup, frozen corn, ketchup, and worcestershire topped with tater tots and cheese and baked. Then my husband slathers it in ketchup.

(I had a salad, and then a slice of his homemade birthday cheesecake.)

Someone I know makes some sort of concoction with boxed mac and cheese, cream of mush. soup, tuna and peas. Topped with french fried onions.

*vom*

I also wanted to say that it really isn’t that difficult to eat healthily when you don’t have much money. We’re poor, and we really don’t spend much more with decent menu planning.
We buy stuff in season and/or locally. And I’m not cooking gourmet here. Just not sh!t from a can. There is some middle ground.
There’s nothing wrong with frozen veggies either. They’re just as healthy (arguably healthier) than fresh.
And it’s way cheap to make homemade pizza. Much less sodium and crap than the frozen stuff. If the parents are both working, hell, they can freeze homemade pizzas, and other homemade entrees on the weekends or days off.
I’m poor…I know how this sh!t goes down.