What happens when a step mother is invited to her husbands daughters wedding?

Curious: What happens when a step mother is invited to her husbands daughters wedding?
So I got a question.

What happens when the step mother of her husbands daughter is invited to the daughters wedding? They are not treated as the mother of the bride are they? Because the real mother will be there.

So basically the step mother is just another guest of the wedding correct?
The bride is very very close with her birth mother. She puts up with her step mother because her father is remarried to her.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Brion
This would depend greatly on the strength of the relationship between the bride and her step mother.

If the two have a close relationship, the step mother should have a significant role in the wedding.

Answer by Maya
Sometimes the step mother would walk down with the husband, other times it would depend on their relationship.

Answer by mightymite1957
It depends on the bride and groom. Usually, a step mother is not treated as the mother of the bride, especially if the mother is there. However, you would not just be another guest.
Your husband would sit with you after he escorts his daughter down the aisle, so you would be seated at the front. It’s up to the couple getting married whether this is in the front row or the second row.
You would walk with your husband during the recessional (leaving the church)
You would be seated with your husband at the reception.
Relax and enjoy the wedding.

Answer by cjsmummy
she wouldn’t be treated as the brides mother – she isn’t – she is just a guest

Answer by Phyl Mar
I googled that and came up with this site that gives you the rules of etiquette for this situation.

https://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/stepmother-wedding-etiquette-proper-wedding-etiquette-for-stepmothers-465940.html

Answer by Awiggins
It would depend on the relationship of your uncle’s great nephew’s brother. If the nephew’s 2nd cousins mother is ok with it then it’s probably alright, unless your aunts, mother’s sister in laws are there. Then I probably wouldn’t

Answer by Margot
The link that Phyl Mar provided was obviously written by someone who hates step-mothers. Here is another etiquette take on it.

I think a large part of it depends on the relationship of all involved. In our situation, my husband, his ex and I work very hard to have a decent relationship with each other. In our opinion, the children should never feel tension between the parents. When the kids graduated from high school, we co-hosted graduation parties. For prom and graduation, I made sure that my husband and his ex posed for a photo with both parents. My attitude is that the kids shouldn’t be forced to have separate photos with their mom and then their dad just because their parents are divorced. Divorce doesn’t change reality that they are both the child’s parents. And posing for 3 seconds for a photo is not going to suddenly make my husband and his ex fall back in love with each other.

When my MIL died, I invited my husband’s ex to sit in the front pew with us…mostly so she could be close to the girls and offer them emotional support and comfort. In addition, my MIL was the ex’s MIL also. Because I was able to offer these kindnesses to the ex, I was rewarded by being invited into the delivery room while the oldest daughter gave birth. The ex cut the cord and the nurse had me make a second cut.

In our situation, I would imagine that when the daughters get married, my husband, his ex and I will share the front pew. I also imagine that the three of us will pose in some family photos together. But if one of the daughters wants me to have a more low-key role, then I will happily abide by her wishes.

Answer by Zestfully Clean
That depends solely on the relationship between the bride and the stepmother.

This was actually a big problem last year at my sister’s wedding. My stepmother has been more of a mother to me and my sister–however, writing the invitations was very problematic. She consulted professionals and they all told her to leave my mother off of the invitation altogether. The problem is that, she may not like my mother, but she has no ill will towards her. She ended up putting my mother’s name in the invitation. It went something like this:

we invite you blah blah blah…
Stepmother’s name, Father’s name
also Mother’s name.

My mother took offense to it, but being the wedding planner of the family, I had to make her snap out of it. I reminded her that there really was no better way of writing the invitation given the circumstances of the family. She wasn’t treated like the mother of the bride, but my stepmother was also not really treated as the mother of the bride. They were both treated as “mother of the bride” but not in the traditional sense. They were both in the bridal party and had pretty much the same role–the only difference was that one of them paid, and one didn’t. There was no need to start problems so it was worked out in a way that was fair.

Once again, this depends solely on the bride’s relationship with her stepmother versus her relationship with her mother. Blended families are tough as it is.

You just have to remember that there are rules when it comes to etiquette… the rules apply until it hurts someone. Then you have to work something out.

Answer by cindysm27
I did a wedding about six months ago with this type of situation and I made a suggest to the bride to include the stepmother with husband (brides father) and mother in the wedding party. It was a success. The stepmother and mothers of bride and groom was escorted to there seats first. Of course the father walked the bride down the isle. The seating was arranged so to keep the peace among all guest (father on the opposite side of the room with stepmother).

Answer by CarbonDated
The stepmother is simply another guest. However, she would be seated with her husband both at the wedding and at the reception. Some stepmothers are invited to attend in the receiving line, others are not. Depends on the relationship.