How would you describe your politically incorrect version of Santa?

Benny Suspendy: How would you describe your politically incorrect version of Santa?
Since I am from the South, mine is a redneck Santa. He has the cab of a 78 Ford hooked to 8 coon dogs and a beagle with a red nose. Instead of elves, he uses his retarded imbred relatives. He slides down the chimney of your single wide where you have left him a six pack and beer nuts.

Who is your politically incorrect Santa? He must represent you, not a different race, religion, or region.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Mini
um…. the traditional fat old guy w/ a white beard who wears a red suit and rides in a carraige driven by reindeers Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid, Donner and Blitzen and led by Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
🙂
~Mini~

Answer by ♥Lissa
hahaha omg you really are larry, I’m scared….. I suppose my santa would be a biker santa and ride a harley 🙂
I’m not really a biker though… I just think it would be cool lol

Answer by Lady Luck
I’m from the North, really North. Mine would be a short, squatty Inuit with a dog sled that flies and 8 mangy dogs led by a harp seal. The elves are parolees that snort the ‘white stuff’, more commonly known as snow, again, the real stuff.
He slides in the front door, all slippery with blubber, where I have left him my sister to service.

Answer by Jezebel
I am from L.A. Someone who would bring me all the presents I want.
White hair, nice smile, older but not as fat. A little bit trimmer and healthy looking. A nice red wine waiting for him with some cookies. A red Lombardini sled.

Oh here, a pic would be better:
https://images.askmen.com/galleries/men/hugh-hefner/pictures/hugh-hefner-picture-1.jpg