: How should I deal with unrequited friendship with the opposite sex?
I am fully devoted and dedicated to my friendship with my new friend, but I don’t really think she thinks much of me or my friendship. What is the best way to deal with the crushing feelings of knowing that she doesn’t feel the same way I feel about her?
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Answer by ?
Hmmm. Well if she thinks nothing of your friendship, or you, It was probably never meant to be. Get out now. Your not going to be happy and if you feel like this, it’s not a friendship at all. Hope I helped!
I think a good way to deal with the crushing feelings is to realize that just because she doesn’t think much of you or your friendship doesn’t necessarily mean anything about you. People have all kinds of personality traits and they sometimes see things completely differently than we do. In other words, while you may feel you’ve been a devoted and dedicated friend, and you may have been, the other person is not thinking about that aspect or seeing things the same way you do. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, just a difference in personality. Unfortunately it’s hard to know how other people think, but sometimes it’s very different from the way we do.
Since you can’t control her feelings, you are left to accept them. You can feel good about the good feelings you have for her. You can feel happy about the fact that you feel devoted and dedicated and that you wish her the best. On the other hand, if you are finding fault or blaming, it will only attach you further. Sometimes letting go actually brings one closer…it’s almost like the other person detects space and freedom and so they feel more comfortable.
Take those good feelings you have and put them into someone or something else. For instance, if you answer questions here, feel the love you have for your friend while you put your all, your efforts into your answers. Same goes for any other activity. Let those feelings open your heart in other areas of your life. Take them and give them elsewhere. it will come back around to you.
Sometimes I do visualizations…for instance, you can take your feelings for her, put them in a pretty box, and sit in a beautiful place in your mind (like by a river or anywhere you feel good). Take the top off the box and see butterflies being released, and with them you release your love and your pain. Happily watch them flutter off, knowing that your love is spreading out into the universe and your pain is dissolved.
Take care.
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