How does the relationship between mother and father change after baby is born?

A_star: How does the relationship between mother and father change after baby is born?
I’m a medical student, and at the moment I am studying the development of family, and how a couples relationship might change for the better or worse when they have a baby together.

For example, the father may feel somewhat excluded as the mother acts as the primary caregiver, and naturally the relationship may become strained due to less time together and more stress.

I’d really appreciate some input from those of you who have been there before and have experienced these changes.

Thank you
I’m particularly interested in the changes that take place almost immediately after the baby comes into the family.

Answers and Views:

Answer by ੴ ਹਰਪਰੀਤ ਸਿੱਖ ਕੁੜੀ
Our relationship has gotten better. Having children has brought my husband and I closer. There is more communication and it’s amazing to share all of the good and even some of bad experiences that come along with raising a family. We work pretty good as a “team”-

Answer by TakeaWalk
For us I think having a baby totally enhanced our relationship. We had a mutual love for each other, but now a mutual love for our child. We improved our communication because we discussed everything related to our child from who will change the diapers at 2 am to how will we save for her future college tuition. The shared joys of watching her smile, laugh, crawl, walk, babble, etc gave us “memories in common” that nobody else but the two of us have. Having a child also helped both of us get the focus off our own needs and on someone else. I for one became less selfish and noticed the same with my husband. Our “baby” is now 25 and those memories and shared experiences are still very precious to us.

Answer by elaeblue
See the mother and the father are fine after baby comes but the wife and husband may have some adjusting to do. Thats how it is for most of us I think. As long as we are in mommy and daddy mode we do fine but a womans whole focus is on the baby , and sometimes the ‘husband’ feels neglected ( well hes an adult he can adjust and some men do well but others cant see thats its only for a short time). Also often there are money problems – babies are expensive. This adds to the stress the family feels.

Answer by Jude’s Mama
My fiance was jealous of the baby for the first 3 months. He’s over it now. he felt that the baby got all my time and attention (which is mostly true really). I was just frustrated with him for most of that time… mostly because our son won’t do bottles… therefore all nighttime wakings were mine. Now (son at almost 5 months) we’re as close as we ever were… and we even get to be intimate once and while too.

Answer by Madisons’ Mama
we now share a bond that no one else knows. That makes us closer even though our sex life is lacking.

Answer by Lu lu
well i found that my partner felt a bit left out as i kinda took over but once we talked thing through n i let him bond with the baby more things were better and i actualy felt better as i got a rest as where b4 i was taking on everything and geting exhausted. i think that first time parents both mum and dad start to feel the pressure of being tied down after a few months. eg not being able to have a social life eg together or alone, i felt like all my friends were out havin fun while i was stuck at home changing nappies. but it really is communication that helps with it all. me n my partner had a good talk about things started sharing responsibilities n took turns at going out with frends and once in a while would ask my mother or close friend to mind the kids so we could spend some time together. bonding with the baby will melt both mum and dads heart and i think a baby does make a couple closer but as the months go on it gets harder but if u tell your partner your feelings then theres no reason why a couple cant b happy.

Answer by ILoveMyBabyPrincess
mother falls “in love” with baby instead, husband/boyfriend may feel left out. But he steps up (in hopeful situations) and helps with baby—also “falls in love’ with baby. There may be underlying feelings of jealousy between the father and mother towards each other and the baby—when mom devotes all time to baby, father may feel secretly jealous of baby and left out, and jealous of the mother perhaps as well for being the baby’s central need at the moment, and when father steps up and starts to fall in love with baby, mother may sometimes feel left out too, envious of the father for the baby’s affection, and of the baby as well.
Over time, the relationship goes back to semi the way it was before, in my life at least, as the baby gets older and both parents are through the adjustment phase.
Even later on in infancy, mother may at times feel torn between affections and loyalties—when she and husband spend time alone together and feel in love again, may worry about baby and feel guilty at times for not loving him/her at the moment. And when giving all the attention to the baby, may worry about the husband feeling excluded.

Answer by ♥My baby is here!!!♥
my baby is only 6 days old but its like we dont even talk anymore im just so busy with baby!

Answer by Marissa C
Honestly, I don’t think it changed our relationship much. I know after Jaiden was first born, my husband felt left out. He also felt that he wasn’t able to help enough. I was breastfeeding our son so there wasn’t much besides changing diapers that my husband could do.

With that aside (and the fact that I’m pretty certain he doesn’t feel that way anymore) I don’t think our relationship has really changed.

Answer by snufkins return
Your relationship gets even better. No matter if you were really close before it brings you closer together as you share all the brilliant times together.