How do I get my daughters father to see that putting her to bed early benfits her?

Preshdove: How do I get my daughters father to see that putting her to bed early benfits her?
I have a 4 year old and when her father has her for the weekend he breaks her schedule and lets her stay up until 10:30 and even sometimes till 12:00! Now I understand everybody raises their children differently, but when she is in my care, she is in bed by 8:30…… this is soooo frustrating to me!

Answers and Views:

Answer by princess
have him keep her one sunday night and get her up monday morning and to the sitters or day care and let him see why she needs to go to bed early

Answer by ♥Refinnej♥
Ugh…I feel your pain!! I can’t for the life of me get my ex to put our kids to bed on time (They’re 5 & 6). He only tells me to quit telling him how to ‘raise’ his kids…HA

I don’t know about you, but it’s a total losing battle for me…

Answer by Michele J
As single moms we stress about everything. And as co parents with adults who are no longer with us, it is more frustrating.
Keep her on your schedule when she is with you.
It is hard for us to relinquish that authority to another person who has different ideas than our own….it won’t hurt her to be put to bed so late….it’s hard for us because we know it’s BETTER for her to have a set schedule.
Unfortunatley you have no control over what goes on when she is with her father…If you have any kind of polite relationship with your ex…you might try to sit down with him and discuss this, if this isn’t possible….then, you have to let things rest as they are….I KNOW this is difficult. It will be ok. One or both of them will grow up eventually! Good luck, sister.

Answer by Jenn
I would talk to him. I’m not sure how well you guys are at talking to eachother but if he wants to do what’s best for her he should know she is used to going to bed at 8:30 and do it when she’s in his care. Midnight is way too late. Maybe he just wants to spend more time with her.

Answer by Josie826
Have you spoken civilly to him about this? It is understandable that he wants to spend as much time with her as possible and he probably lets her get away with things that you would not let her do. Maybe a compromise? How about he lets her stay up late on only one of the nights he has her and then the other night he puts her to bed at her normal time. Try approaching him with this idea and see if he will go for it. If not and you are really upset that he is not working with you, you can always threaten to take away his rights to see her on the weekends.

Answer by LOVLYONE
He’s only doing that to get at you.

Answer by Brianna’sMomma
That has to be frustrating! However, he does have her for the weekend and he gets to choose. As long as she gets the sleep she needs, she will be fine.

Answer by steve
All you can do is try to reason with him. Try not to approach the situation angrily. Don’t bring it up at the time he is getting her or dropping her off. Talk to him at another time when you are both in a calm mood. He doesn’t seem to be a reasonable person if he doesn’t already get this. Good luck, hope I’ve helped you a little.

Answer by k h
I agree with the mom that suggested havng him get her up to go the sitters’ but I say he needs to keep her about THREE days in a row, during th eweek, first off he’ll find that he won’t get anything accomplished with her up till all hours and that she impossible to deal with so tired and after the ‘sitter’ says something to him (AKA not his ex wife) that might help.
Do you all participate in the Parents As Teachers Program? We have that in our school district and they are a wonderful resource/sounding board and will advocate the best interests of your child, maybe you need to get him involved with that program or something even as basic as going to Well child check ups as most pediatricians will do the same thing……….. alot of times people will listen to an ‘expert’ that they respect………… Good luck, I know its frustrating!

Answer by Robert K
This is a joke, right? Your biggest problem with your ex is the time your child goes to bed on the weekends? You’re trying to control a schedule that you can’t control. What’s next, the brand of toothpaste?

Give it up, move on, get over it, pick a battle that matters.

Answer by jess
Either he wants to spend every second he can with her, he’s busy and plots her in front of movies, or has no idea how to MAKE her go to bed.
Explain that just TWO nights of going to bed at 12 throws her off for the start of her week. Explain politely and without yelling and nagging if you can that, come Sunday night she has her hours so mixed up it ruins your bedtime routine, leaving her cranky and irritable for the start of her week. Ask him if he’s aware of the bedtime routine you keep in your home, say if he’d like you can run it by him and maybe he can try it with her in his house. Let him know that you understand its HIS daughter too, but this is really for her health and wellbeing– not just something you’ve picked at random to complain about just to irk him.

Answer by Chrissy D
I feel for you…