Help Recovering from break-up?

Nick: Help Recovering from break-up?
I was with the girl I thought I’d marry for more than 4 years. I was saving up for an engagement ring when the relationship ended. And I became VERY depressed. I couldn’teat, slept like 3 hours a night for like atleast a months, and ended up really sick. Like on medication, my mom wanting to check me into a crazy home, the whole nine yards. My ex always told me that I was irreplacable and I was special. I wasn’t “like every other guy.” She told me she wanted to grow old with me, etc, etc.
I broke up with her four months ago to try to give her a wake up call. Because she was treating me very badly and was acting really weird with this other guy.I tried to talk to her about it plenty of times..but she wasn’t trying to hear any of it and would just get md at me and call me jealous. And I wasn’t ok with the vibe I was getting from it all. I felt like I was being taken advantage of. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And it only got worse. Afterwards, I found out she had cheated on me and had sex with another guy during the month of our four year anniversary. And then came right back to me like nothing ever happened. And three years before that, she was out with another guy on halloween. I was serously in love with this girl. Im 18. I was with her since I was twelve. I know it sounds crazy or whatever, but when we started going out, I tought I never thought i would last as long as it did. But I fell in love. And she said she did as well. A week after we broke up, she was with the guy I broke up with her over. I was devestated. And I confronted her about it. Of course she denied it. And me being stupid and blinded by how much I loved her, I believed it. And she led me on for weeks, letting me think we just needed time apart and we’d eventually get back together. This was before I knew she had ever cheated on me. I slowly began learning how to live without her because I realized…this gil wasn’t going to want me back. I mean, I grew up wih this girl, and it’s so hard to adjust from that. Having someone all your teenage years and then one day theyre just gone. Two days ago I saw her. And I know she saw me. And she was walking around in front of alot of people we both know holding hands with this other guy. Now the thing is, this other guy is a loser. Fails in school, pothead, cheats on his gilfriends, and takes life as a joke, no job, no driver’s lisence, etc. And seeing this girl I loved so long with a loser has really messed with my head. Like, I have a 3.9 GPA. I get along with like everyone, and have alot of friends. Evrey girl tells me “any girl would be lucky to have a guy like you.” But the girl I loved for so long has butchered my self esteem. Seeing she chose him over me, makes me think, “if he’s that much of a loser, and she chose him, what does that make me?” She was my first kiss, make-out, and we lost our virginity to each other. I even freaking got her inital tattooed on me. I know everyone probably thinks its stupid. But I want to be a tattooer. And that’s just something people like me tend to do. She was my first and only girlfriend. I never cheated on her. Never flirted with any other girls.I treated her like a queen. She was my one and only. I revolved my life around her. Her family loved me, and her parents told me I was like the son they never had. And seeing that she chose that guy hurts me so bad. And I feel extremely depressed. I want more than anything to be happy again. I don’t want her back or anything, because I know I don’t deserve to be treated like that. But I can’t get myself to be happy agian. I’m still on medication. Still have the support of my friends and family, but I can’t heal. I feel like no girl will ever want me again. And I lost my only chance at love, my only chance at marriage, and kids. I don’t know how to get over this feeling and finally heal. It’s been four months. And I still feel like complete sh*t.
thank you all. you have no idea how much your responses mean to me.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Grandma’s Wisdom
that’s what dating is… get up and put that energy into something that you enjoy doing and become wealthy from it… cause your already rich by having your health and your wasting it

Answer by Jeremy
Ok… I was married for 6 years and we were together for 8 years. It takes time to heal. Your not crazy. Just be strong. Try going out and meeting new women. Believe me they are out there. You will find one that will treat you better. It took me about 6 months to start feeling better but it happens. It has been over 2 years now and I am completely over her. I still love her. When you are with someone that long, some feeling will linger. Give it time..

Answer by Brian
Time heals all wounds. I know that sounds pretty cliche, but it’s the truth. You just have to give yourself time to get over it. It won’t happen anytime soon obviously. It could take years even. Trust me, everything will be alright. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. I know none like her, but there are others. You still have a shot at love, marriage, and kids. The world is not going to end. I know it feels like it’s come crashing down on you, but it hasn’t. Take it easy, and hang in there okay?

Answer by kkff
Occupy your mind with other things until you realize you can function without this person in your life.
Play more sport, go out and socialize, start drawing, watch films you’ve always meant to see. If you wallow the day away, the only thing you’ll spend your time doing is thinking about her.

Don’t listen to sad music or watch sad movies. You’ll just feel worse.
Good luck

Answer by Trisha M
You’re so young. You haven’t lost your only shot at anything. Even us old folks get another shot at it. Although what your feeling is real, you will have many chances to meet and date other girls. Quit being so hard on yourself and wasting all this time. You have your whole life ahead of you. Any more cliches? Your first love is a doozy but trust me on this one kid…you’ll get over it and you’ll be just fine. 🙂

Answer by Poopsie Mellish
Don’t see her anymore. Write her off as a mistake. We elders have been there and done that. Just take time and be with your friends and watch some football and video games. You need time out for yourself to heal and be thankful she is not preggers by you. Later you will meet a nice girl and that takes time.

Answer by Jaydan Robertson
Hey, I know it can be hard dealing with a questionable relationship. My friend got this ebook called the Magic of Making Up and it has done wonders for them. You might want to give it a try as well, it really helped my friend to overcome common issues and work to get their ex and them back on track.

I wish you the best of luck in your relationship.

Answer by Dylan Johmson
I highly recommend this site
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