How to tell my Fiancee I just want to Elope?

: How can I tell my Fiancee I just want to Elope?
My fiancee is also my ex-wife and, we are currently “planning” our third wedding. We were married twice before. We have done counseling and, are together for the better. Anyway, she wants this big elaborate wedding and, everything…. Were 56, all I want is her, city hall, our kids and, some cake. I just think we should cut the costs and, elope….

How can I tell her this? Or should I just go with the whole big event?

Answers and Views:

Answer by bluebutterfli13
well from the sounds of it.. you have probably already had the big event once, maybe even two times, so I can understand your reluctance and desire to just elope, maybe you could meet her somewhere in the middle, maybe a nice wedding in your backyard or at a nice garden or park near your house, with just close family and friends, keep it under 20, or just have your kids, let her have her day, but keep it small and special! Good Luck and Best Wishes , hope third time is a charm!

Answer by Spindrift
That is in very poor taste, for the third time, you need to either have a very quiet SMALL wedding or elope, even better. If she wants to have a big event just tell her it looks very bad and you cannot afford it, period. If she has the money and cap pay for it all herself, that’s another matter but it still looks bad.

Answer by Suz123
You write: We have done counseling

Then perhaps more counseling is in order? Seriously, if you are unable to communicate with her . . . then should there be a third wedding?

Communication is key. Why can’t you tell her: “Honey, all I want is you, city hall, our kids, and some cake.” ?????

If you can tell us . . . total strangers . . . then you should be able to tell her. I just feel really concerned that you are unable to discuss something important with your fiancee.

Answer by Jenna
I personally think getting married to the same person three times has lost the specialness of a big, elaborate wedding.
To continue moving forward with best intentions… sit her down and explain that’s all you want. She should be able to understand and respect your wishes…Be kind and loving, and listen to her reasoning as well.

Answer by planner
good for you guys!!!!! glad to hear you are working it out. as for the wedding, it depends. did she ever have her big wedding on either of the other two occasions you were married? if she did, then she really should give up the idea of another big wedding.

something smaller and more elegant, with a grown up tone to it is more appropriate. however, if she did not have the big wedding, then let her have it now.

as for eloping or going to the courthouse….eloping is okay if you are going to go somewhere fun and exciting like las vegas or hawaii, but forget the courthouse idea. courthouse weddings are about as “non” as a wedding can be these days, IF your local county courthouse even still offers this service. many of them no longe do it so you would have to have some kind of other wedding anyway.

even if the courthouse in your area still does weddings, the ceremony takes less than 5 minutes and there is no ring exchange, no kiss the bride…nothing. i think that something as huge as getting back together after a divorce and remarriage and another divorce and counseling deserves a bigger deal than a 2 minute ceremony in a cold courthouse before an impersonal judge who is rattling off weddings one after another for two hours a day…oh and that’s another thing, you can only get married at the courthouse at certain times on mon-fri so you would have to take off work, so would any guests you might want to have and you can only have a handful anyway…some courthouses only allow 5.

if you elope to las vegas or someplace like that you can still have a nice ceremony with a gown and flowers and a little reception and cake….but don’t do the courthouse thing. very cheesy.

Answer by Messykatt
Are you sure she doesn’t keep divorcing you just so she can have yet one more big wedding?

This is borderline trashy and even a little pathetic. Tell her you won’t be part of it. In fact, now that I think about it, it’s a little odd that you’d need guidance on how to say no.

Answer by Perse
Can’t communicate with the woman you are going to marry? That doesn’t bode well for the future. Learn to communicate, then think marriage. Sounds like more counselling could do you some good, or maybe it’s time to walk once and for all.

Answer by Dakota
I would talk to her and find out why she wants a big wedding. I think many people would find a large elaborate wedding to be in poor taste for your situation. If you haven’t had one before and she has a good reason for it, though, then you may want to work out a compromise between what you each want. Good luck.

Answer by Kelly
Well, if you can’t communicate with her then why are you getting married for the third time?

I think given its your third marriage a big elaborate wedding is not needed.