Who is supposed to give the bride her shower?

Momwithaheart: Who is supposed to give the bride her shower?
I thought either the bridesmaids or friends of the bride gave the shower, not the mother. Please only answer IF you know. Someone told the bride its the maid-of-honor, which in this case lives out-of-state, is supposed to throw the shower.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Heather
Well my fiance’s sister is giving me one of my wedding showers. I read its bad etiquette for a mother or sister to give the bridal shower, because it would be like them asking for gifts for you or something like that. The book i read that in is by America’s Top Wedding Experts. You could also look on theknot.com. Good Luck!

Answer by leggjesusfreak
Well typically the bridesmaids all chip in and pay and plan the shower, the Maid or Matron of honor usually heads up the whole thing. But in some cases, such as if the bridesmaids are in another state or something then friends or family of the bride will throw one.

Answer by Mrs. on 11/14/2010
I am told that it has to be someone not immediately related.

My sister wants and probably will throw mine with my best friend. She is my Maid of Honor after all.

My family and friends aren’t going to think much of it. I hate all the etiquette ‘laws’.

Answer by ♫.♥._.αησηумσυѕ._.♥.♫
well all the bridesmaid but the MOD (made of honor) is supposed to organize everything. sometimes the bide even chips in or organizes it so its just how she wants it

Answer by Libby
Etiquette says that relatives of the bride are not supposed to throw the shower, because it’s being gift-grabby.

However, a lot of mothers/sisters/aunts/etc of the brides do it anyway. I think it’s fine. The only real taboo, in my opinion, is if the bride throws it for herself.

Answer by Newlywed!
Now-a-days, it depends.

Traditionally the maid of honor gives the shower. But that isn’t always possible because like you said, she lives out of town. So all the bridesmaids can get together and throw the bridal shower.

For me, My maid & matron of honor threw me a shower for my friends! My matron of honor was my sister which she had at her house. As long as it isn’t the mother of the bride, it is fine. Otherwise it looks like you are just asking for more gifts (in some people’s eyes). I don’t mind of the mother throws it if no one else is because every bride deserves to be “showered” before her big day!

My aunts also threw me a shower! I also know a lot of the future mother in laws will throw one for their side of the family too but not all do.

Back in the day, EVERYONE threw the bride showers. My mom had like 7. The church would throw one (which ours doesn’t do that anymore, I guess it just got too big.) You have your co-workers who may want to throw you one. There is an endless amount of showers you can have.

BUT back to the main question, I think it is normally the wedding party together that throws it now!

Answer by Another Nickname
Traditionally it is the bridesmaids. Yes, it is supposed to be in poor taste for immediate family to throw the shower, but in my personal opinion, it really just depends on your situation and social circle.

Where I am from, it is very common for the mother to throw the shower, so no one even thinks twice about it. My mom threw mine, since my bridesmaids all lived away – no one had any issues.

Answer by [email protected]
the one traditionally who gives the bridal shower is the maid or matron of honor, you say she’s out of state so what’s the job that she’s going to do hopefully more than just show up at the wedding her position and responsibility is to make sure things go as smooth as she can for the bride’s sake which should be an honor.

Answer by Marie157
It really can be any female family member or friend but normally its organized by the maid of honor with the help of the bridesmaids. I have been to a few showers where either the bride or grooms mother has thrown the shower because the bridal party lives out of state. Normally when this is done, the shower is limited to that specific side of the family and local friends.

Answer by Techno Cumbia
Moms can throw the shower.I don’t follow etiquette.my mom will be throwing me a shower and none of the family members have complained about it.I don’t see why they would either.

Answer by Suz123
Showers can be hosted by bridesmaids
or godmothers
or bride’s aunts
or bride’s cousins
or coworkers
or friends from your place of worship
or groom’s aunts
or groom’s cousins
or other assorted friends and family members

Many people can host a shower. The shower is never hosted by bride or groom or their mothers. But mom’s longtime friends may want to host a bridal shower for you.

Some brides do not have a shower. They somehow manage to survive, and they go on to have perfectly lovely weddings.

My advice to brides and their moms? Don’t worry about bridal showers. Concentrate on planning wedding and reception. Leave the planning of bridal showers to others.

I am sure as the wedding date draws closer, someone will offer to host a shower. My advice is just wait.

Answer by kim h
The family is never to give the shower be it for a wedding or a baby. The maid of honor usually but since this one lives out of state the brides maids should do it.

Answer by Avis B
Neither the Bride’s Mother nor the Groom’s Mother nor any sister of the Bride or Groom should host (plan, organize or pay for) a bridal shower. When an immediate family member hosts a shower it is a form of solicitation and inappropriate.

Traditionally, the Maid or Matron of Honor hosts the shower unless this person is a member of the Bride or Groom’s family or they do not live in the area. Under those circumstances, it’s OK for an Aunt or cousin or close friend or co-worker to host the shower.

Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer by Snickers
Anyone can give a bridal shower EXCEPT immediate family members. In proper/polite society it’s considered quite rude for family members to host a party that asks the guests to bring gifts. I will probably get thumbs down because it seems that more and more family members are doing this but it still doesn’t make it proper.

Answer by Gillian
I had 2 showers in 2 different states. One was hosted by my maid of honor in state. The other was done out of state by my mother and my cousin, who held the shower at her beautiful house. It can be anybody close to the bride, whether maid of honor, bridesmaid, a relative, or even a future in-law. Sometimes even coworkers will throw a shower at work for the bride! It doesn’t matter who throws it as long as they coordinate it with the important people in the wedding (the bride and her family and include the groom’s family too).