What should a mother do when her 10 year old daughter comes home and has her ear cartilage pierced?

piercedears: What should a mother do when her 10 year old daughter comes home and has her ear cartilage pierced?
What should a mother do when her 10 year old daughter comes home and has her ear cartilage pierced? She says that her father allowed her to get it along with a second normal ear hole, and wants her mother to approve it. She says that she is glad that her father allowed her to have it. It is not casing any medical problems and her teachers and friends don’t say any thing negative about it.

Answers and Views:

Answer by bestofgames
its a girl

Answer by Bulletproof Invisible Man
have a glass of wine

Answer by Er930
Be honest and tell her how you feel about it, but there’s not much you can do now.

Answer by chef ramsay is HOT!
u should be speaking to the father!!! who ever has custody is the one who has rights over the kids and what happens to them and the other has to ask permission to do those sort of things

Answer by Shootingstar
At least she didn’t come home with her lip or eyebrow pierced. If she lives with her mom and her mom doesn’t like it then she needs to make her take it out. I think it is just her way of expressing herself and that’s not the worst thing she could have done.

Answer by jinamarie2010
she is ten!!
take it out of the cartilage and let it heal and tell her that her father is irresponsible and she will never get a job if she keeps up with the piercing at this rate.
remind her that she is only ten!
if she says daddy let her and u are horrible, take it out anyway and tell her to remember that in ten years.

Answer by Sarah A
Well it’s not like she went out and pierced her lip or anything, but the fact remains that she did it without your consent. Tell her that you don’t appreciate her going out behind your back and doing things, and ground her for a week or something. And don’t be all angry. Try to make her understand that you are her mother and she can’t just do whatever she feels like. Also, definitely have a talk with the father.

Answer by Mommy of Perygrin.
If the mother is fine with it don’t see the problem. I would be angry with the father for not asking me.

Answer by bananarama
its only another ear peiricing itll be ok. in the cartlige there wont be a big scar and people wont be looking at her ear hard enough to see it anyways. but might want to straighten things out with the father cuz next it could be the belly button or tounge or something worse. Maybe try not to freak to bad so she will feel comfortable comming to you about things she wants to discuss them.

Answer by thecat252000
I would smack the person who was stupid enough to peirce the girls ear.

Answer by young m
Its not hurting her in anyway she’s not in danger its not a tattoo it not on her body just the ear I think she will be okay but the mother needs to let her know if she is living under her household then she needs to consult with her first.

Answer by silverxeno
This seems more like an abuse of power on the father’s part. He is the ‘good guy’…and if mom caves, it will give permission for this type of behavior in the future. If mom takes it out, mom is the ‘bad guy’. If it were me, I’d take the earring out & explain that decisions of that nature are best left for when you are older. Then mom needs to have a talk with dad! Big time. If the parents are bickering b/c of divorce or separation issues, they need to hang it up for the sake of the kid. Plain & simple…multiple piercings, regardless of their location, are not appropriate for an elementary school child. There may not be any negative feedback from others…b/c they simply may be speechless. How do you respond to something like that??

Answer by dude
No reason to get upset about it all that really happened is now your daughter has a few tiny holes in her ear. She wanted them (right) and now she has them. You should probably say “you like them if she likes them” and ask her some curious non judgmental questions about why she wanted them or likes them, and no matter what the answer is except that she is you daughter and let her be who she wants to be as long as its not hurting herself or others or is not illegal. If you would like to have a say in future endeavors of the sort involving similar decisions in the future you should express that to her father in a non confrontation way. Whats done is done. Or you could not except reality, get mad at her and her father and make things worse.

Answer by zeppelinjoint420
sorry to tell you the truth ive seen babies do it before but you should be kind of mad at the father for not warning you on time but accept that shes not judged by anyone that she did it.

Answer by Sanrio90
If it’s not causing medical problems or anything else that’s truly negative, then I wouldn’t really care. I think those piercings are tacky, but my child is not my property and as a parent(hypothetically speaking at the moment) my job is to prevent as much harm as possible, not use my own personal fashion tastes to dictate how they look.

Answer by Kit
If I was defying my mother to that extreme at that age I would have been locked in my room until it was time to go to college. There are bigger problems here, this is a symptom. There is no way she didn’t know that she should have asked you about this, so either she knew you were going to say no so she asked Daddy, or she didn’t care what you thought and was going to do it anyway, both of these are bad reactions.

You should immediately take it up with her father, tell him it was not okay to do this without talking to you about it first. It is possible that she told him that you would be fine with it, so don’t be too hard on him until you have the whole story.

There should definitely be consequences for your daughter, not for getting a piercing, but for doing it behind your back. It is critical that you get across that that is why you are reacting in this matter. Tell her you’ve lost your trust in her and it will take a long time and lots of effort for her to gain it back. Until then, make sure you always know where she is, who she is with and when she’ll be home, as obviously she can no longer be trusted to look after herself in anything she does. If she insists upon acting like a petulant child, you must treat her as one.

Answer by D*Kat
I would ask my ex why he didn’t consult me first… I wouldn’t be angry or anything but I’d prefer my daughter getting piercings (other than ear-lobes) after 16.

Answer by carly_james3
I would question the father as to why you wasnt told. But theres not alot you can do about your daughter because her father gave her permission. plus didnt you do anything like that when you were younger? I know I did, wasnt just my ears that I had pierced either and that was without my mum or dad.

Answer by gripper2
Well, unfortunately, you may have to suck this one up, but you should contact the father and let him know that that was something you both should have decided. You also should talk to your daughter and let her know the same thing.
If you make the daughter remove it, she will just put it in at dad’s house.
Make sure they both know where you draw the line and that respecting each others feelings on parenting and such would ensure a healthy relationship for all.
Be careful not to let your daughter play the parents against each other.