What is your read on the statement “Consider adoption, a loving alternative to parenting.”?

grapesgum: What is your read on the statement “Consider adoption, a loving alternative to parenting.”?
I happened across a WEB site for an adoption agency that seemed reasonable until came across this statement on the information page for pregnant women considering adoption:

“Consider adoption, a loving alternative to parenting.”

I have seen adoption advertised as a loving alternative to abortion but I have never seen it advertised as a loving alternative to parenting.

Has anyone else seen this before? What is your take on this? Is parenting a non-loving option?

Answers and Views:

Answer by Velken
I think they are trying to find a way to say things nicely instead of “Give the baby away instead of killing it”. Some people find abortion and adoption wrong, so its to help those people see its not just birth, its parenting for 18+ years. I think they could have phrased it better, but to each his own.

Answer by irishboney
There are many people who become parents that are simply not equipped to do so. I think that this ad is saying instead of possible hurting or neglecting your child with poor parenting skills, give the child to people who are able to take care of it. It is actually a pretty good slogan that will hopefully reach its intended audience!

Answer by Patricia S
My immediate reaction was that they were implying that parenting is not required when adopting. Maybe I just take things too literally.

Answer by c_a_m_2u
Sounds to me like it’s a way to address the women who, instead of abortion, will keep the baby, especially if they are not fully equipped to handle parenting. I’d agree that abortion isn’t always the answer, but neither is keeping a baby out of guilt if parent can’t handle the future properly. The writer of the quoted comment has a good argument… If you can’t take care of the baby, then adoption would be the loving thing to do for your baby.

Answer by Phoenix A
Or how about keeping your own child, bringing it up yourself and saving it from years of uncertainty and all the other crap that comes with adoption (for a lot of people, but not everyone)
It does seem to imply that parenting is a non-loving option, which is horrible.
Bleurgh!! Dont like this slogan.

Answer by tish
my read…

C-H-A C-H-I-N-G!!!!

parenting yields no moola to the adoption industry. besides, sunny, you do KNOW there’s a baby shortage, duncha? so we can’t have all these poor, single women out there just having and raising their OWN children..

this website is disgusting and needs to be shut down.

Answer by o0lauren0o
Tish, your answer is amazing!! Its too true! Family preservation is whats most important and adoption should be the ‘last resort’. If there is any way to keep a family together, it should be done. Adoption is too often a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Answer by jandayatl
While it is ideal for a Mother to keep and raise her own child in a loving home, and that SHOULD be the goal for all those working with pregnant Moms in uncertain circumstances, there are situations where the best possible thing is for the child to be adopted. I think that in some situations, the best thing a parent can do for their child is give them up for adoption. Some people just can’t and shouldn’t parent, and for those who recognize that but still love their baby, adoption can be the answer.

I keep reading posts here where people seem to think that these situation don’t exist. That surprises me. Of course there are many situations where birthmoms are pressured and the system is broken in many ways. But sometimes the system does work — it’s all about the people working that system.

When I adopt, I want to know that the Mom who gave birth to my child was provided and made aware of all the available resources to care for her child on her own. I would only be comfortable in a adoption where I could feel assured that the Mom is doing what she believes to be the best possible loving thing she can do for her baby. I want her to want me to care for the child.
Is this too naive to want? I don’t think so.

Answer by concerned
Hmmm. Well at least it’s more truthful than the usual line (adoption as a loving alternative to abortion). I give them props for that, for recognizing that adoption isn’t the flip side of abortion.

BUT…

It’s still repulsive. Still no mention that the CHILD might not consider it loving.

Answer by sunny
I think they’re trying to imply that adoptive parenting is superior to the kind of parenting the pregnant mother could give.

If she were ‘loving’ herself, she’d give her baby to other people to raise.

The target audience for an ad like this is not someone who’s considering abortion–it’s a mother who has decided to raise her baby and is probably being pressured by other people to give up her baby.

The agency’s ad is playing on her doubts.

Answer by lauriejbaker
Huh?? I thought the loving thing to do when you have a child IS to be a parent!

Talk about pulling out all the stops. Trying to twist and guilt women who are already feeling scared and confused is so wrong.

Answer by Andraya
I much prefer the statement. “Consider abortion, a loving alternative to adoption.”

Loving alternative to parenting? IMHO this implies that choosing to parent is not a loving choice and that sickens me. COERCE MUCH?

Answer by littleJaina
I don’t read this statement as implying that parenting is NOT loving. Rather, they are saying that you can either parent your child OR you can give it up for adoption and BOTH are loving options. I think the adoption folks are trying to just take abortion out of the equation all together. Maybe if we stop reminding girls they legally can get abortions, they won’t do them.

I think it’s truly awful that anyone believes abortion is anything less than murder (except in life threatening situations) and that honestly believe adoption is worse. After all, if an adopted person truly believes they’d be better off aborted, there are lots of high bridges in the world they can jump from.

Answer by lahdh4
beyond sickening

Answer by Momof2!
I would personally take it as meaning a loving option if you already DIDN’T want to parent.
It doesn’t suggest to me that parenting isn’t loving, but I know that nobody could take my children away from me, whatever the tagline said.

Answer by Isabel A
You know, call me crazy, but I just don’t think it’s very loving to give your child away to strangers.

It could be a practical option or a convenient option or even a painful option. I just wouldn’t think to pair the word loving with relinquishment.

Marketing these days is something else.

Answer by AdoreHim
I don’t like this at all- parenting is a loving alternative as well. What I really hope they meant by it was that adoption is the only other loving alternative. You should actually call them on it- because it does make it sound like parenting your own child is not a loving alternative. Abortion definitely isn’t loving- but parenting is. Maybe if you asked them about it, they would change this statement- because if I was a birth mom, it turn me off, and if I was a man and woman looking to adopt it would turn me off too.

EDIT- and for those who say that it is not loving to give your child away to someone else, I have this to say- so if your birth mom could no way raise you, you think it would be better to abort? I am an adoptee and also have adopted 2 kids- and since our 3 birth moms could not raise us, it very loving and selfless to place for adoption. If I got pregnant and could not raise my child, do you think I would sacrifice my child on the altar of abortion? NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer by spydermomma
I don’t like it at all, for the reasons lots of others have said. To me it kinda makes it sound as if a woman who was considering reliquishing her child for adoption could not possibly be a good and loving parent — so that her “loving alternative” would be to adopt. Probably they didn’t >consciously< mean to imply that, but I think that their subconscious thoughts came through.

Answer by Heather H
Sounds like we should all be giving our kids away for adoption!

How ridiculous. I’m with Tish, Kerchiing!!!$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $

coercive tactic to make money off vulnerable people

Answer by adkwolf
That is outrageous. Adoption is PARENTING. In some ways it’s more challenging than parenting babies born to you, because even small babies grieve for birth parents. There re also issues of helping the child feel loved and understand that the birth parents choice to not raise a child wasn’t because the child was bad. ADOPTION IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY TO EXPAND A FAMILY not an alternative to parenting!!!!