What is the biggest regret after divorce?

☆εЖ๑ℑi☪☆: What is the biggest regret after divorce?
Im afraid that if i divorce my husband of 10 months, i’ll regret that maybe things could have been better without even taking the chance, then it will be too late to go back in time… I dont want to have regrets.. Any experience in this?

Answers and Views:

Answer by hlnlange
If you are of opinion that there are some chance that your marriage could work again, you should both work hard at it and try.

but

If you are of the opinion that you are beating a dead horse – why waste your time?

edit
after reading your previous question and discovering that he actually hit you, please ignore my above answer – divorce him as fast as you can – these kind of people never change. If he already hit you within the first year, things are only going to get worse. Where will it end? Have you thought about that?

Answer by dutchess
wow. does he know this and why? i stuck it out ten years before divorcing. there is a lot of emotions you go through, but time heals.

Answer by craig b
Tell you what…….do the 13 weeks in divorcecare.com and then come back and ask the question.
You won’t have any regrets.

Answer by remowlms
My brother tells me that the only regret he has is that he didn’t do it sooner.

Answer by D M
YES! I have been through that very thing. Married less than a year before divorcing. I often think of the things we could have done different: counseling, talking more, putting my spouse before myself, so many things I regret not trying now. I would advise you to exhaust all possibilities before making that step. The first year is always hardest according to most couples.

Answer by Paul&Fran
Well only you know in your heart whether you gave this all that you could. If your still not sure if hes comfortable with it just hold off on the divorce longer. One question who’s idea was it to begin with.

Answer by peaches6
People make their mistake getting into a marriage. Usually one or both parties aren’t mature enough or mentally stable enough to marry. It’s really too soon to think about divorcing when you’ve only been married for 10 months. What on earth could have happened within this short period of time that you would consider divorcing your husband? You can’t holler you want a divorce everytime you get angry or have a disagreement. Please consider counseling for the both of you. Read books on the matter if you have to. Good Luck!

Answer by alialoggi
I really regret marrying him. I wish that I could have my kids, and not have to ever see him again. He’s a liar and a cheat. You need to decide if there will be regrets. Try counseling and see if it works. Nothing cures a liar. My husband lied to the counselor and she caught him too, so go with your gut. Would you be friends with him if you weren’t married to him? If no, get out.

Answer by Keepin It Real
Please exhaust all other avenues. Divorce is a last resort.

Counseling is very important. Don’t just give up without a fight.

Go to counseling. You need an unbiased third party to help you sort things out.

Answer by pisces72
It depends what the basis for your divorce is. If you’re divorcing him for physically or mentally abusing you, you will have no regrets. But if you’re divorcing him for minor misunderstandings, then its worth giving it a second chance till you have mentally checked-out of the relationship once and for all. That way you will have no regrets and guilt feelings. Right now it seems like you’re not fully prepared and confident about the step you’re taking. You are not very clear if your husband has agreed to the divorce and if its mutual consent. If it is I m sure he has his own reasons too for pursuing the decision. best of luck.

Answer by Nepoleon
Hi

Regrets are always there whether you do or not. If you do you regret for doing it otherwise for not doing it

I AM IN THE PLAYPEN WITH SWEET MILDRED

Answer by Binst
My biggest regret after divorce was to marry the guy in the first place.

Answer by Yanna
try 2 work it out through good and the bad just how u promised u should only be married once

Answer by Huckleberry
No matter how you try to size it up it comes back to both people in the marriage have to want to stay together and do what it takes. If that is not the case on either of your part, then I would say, get out while you can before you invest more time into it.

Answer by brwneyedgrl
I think unless ur just a cold person.. that theres always regret on some level..

Regret of the loss of a dream u had on your wedding day of what your life would be like..

Loss of a Whole family unit if you have children..

Loss of someone that was your best friend at one point, or cared for..

Loss of years of energy put into a relationship that inevitably didnt work..

Loss of time that you could of been looking for mr. or mrs right instead of being with the wrong person..

Loss of personal gains that perhaps u gave up for this person to share a life with them, to see it was a mistake..

There is always some type of regret.. 10 months is not a very long time to be married.. its not even enough time to really get to know each other, because u can date someone for 10 years before living with them and until ur married and living together and the “comfortable” sets in with all the quirks, and personality traits that were possibly hidden during the “dating” period the “watch what i do or say period of the relationship for fear the other person may move on”.. u dont really get to know each other.. and the first couple of years can be the hardest for a couple.. u go from Honeymoon phase to “omg what have i done” to .. Great its been 4 years but i feel like ive been married for 10.. Marriage isnt a fantasy, or romantic novel.. it takes alot of hard work.. to make a marriage work, and it needs both people to make that happen.. i think unless he’s being abusive , or cheating.. that you shouldnt leave yet, i think u just got to the “OMG what did i just do” phase.. kinda like cold feet after the fact.. try to make it work.. if its useless.. then leave before u have children brought into a unhappy marriage..

Answer by sankara
Divorce is not answer b/cos the ill effect of divorce on the children is very great. And if you don’t have any child yet, think of ways of solving of the problems you facing now rather than running away from them because you could still come across them in the future – no human is perfect.Please go for Councelling, You and your husband has to make some sacrifices to achieve happiness in a Marriage.

Answer by DANNIE M
If you only been ten month and want a divorce you are either to immature or you rushed into a marriage with your eye closed
I think you should work on the marriage at least try to give it two years but it does take two to make it work
start thinking why you married him in the first place and if you love him then do all you can to save the marriage

Answer by Kaia
Mine was that I stayed married way too long. It was 8 years, and I knew after 6 months I’d made a horrible mistake. I should have ended it at 6 months, and moved on.

You need to go to counseling. You need to try to make it better. If you do counseling, or he won’t do counseling, then end it.

Answer by TSW
none………… the bit_h is out of my life. Ho ya One.
I regret the first few years I was with her. should have never happened.

Answer by tony_le12
Well girl.

LIfe, we should be live honesty and truthful than there is no such thing we should be regret or even guilty. Although we mad like hell if thing turn out bad.
To me regret is doing some thing we shouldn’t do. Disappointment went we fail to do something.
As you see we are only human. We see the burning bushes blossom before we see the pedals fall down and wind took it away. We only know that because we watched over the year.
In relationship, no one would know how is the out come of the future. we care fully planned, put in all the positive thought, hard works. But in relationship it take effort from both, not only you or him. We also can only take so much heartache, and anger, than we have to move on.
Changing is not easy. Bigest fear we don’t grow younger, and every time we starting new chapter of life we have to starting every thing from the scratch again. we are the builder, we may build different things but the process is the same. One shavel at a time and one brick at a time, and as a builder we want the same thing. we want our building stand strong, stand tall, and last forever. we may run into disapointment but we should not regret.
I don’t know much, but i do know this much, nothing in life stay the same, Life changing and people changing, and often change for the worse.

Answer by MissE
My biggest regret after my divorce is that I did not do it earlier. Life got so much better after I left him behind

Answer by golfwidow61
My biggest regret is making issues out of financial situations. Also, I regret that I wasn’t respected in the marriage. I regret that BOTH partners don’t try equally. In some relationships, mine for instance, I wasn’t right and I was invisible. Though after the divorce I saw the affection and I certainly appreciate that he came home after work. So, I must say I wish I would have recognized the good and emphasized that as well as the bad. Secondly, I regret that he is incapable of being wrong.

Conflict is something he just can’t deal with, therefore, he lied to avoid it and that always made it worse. I WISH I HAD PREMARITIAL COUNSELING….

Answer by Sumit K
Every man has a choice always and it depends upon u what to choose. Divorce is never a solution but Love is. Try to understand each other more and u will come to know that ur relation has come back to life. Plz do think about it..