What can I do to keep from frequently being misunderstood by my fiancee?

Jimmy Vito: What can I do to keep from frequently being misunderstood by my fiancee?
My relationship with my fiancee started out awesome. Then my personality started coming out more. Normally this would be good, but becuase of drugs and things in the past, I was a real a-hole. I haven’t been that way for a long time because I realized that if I really wanted to be with this amazing woman, then I needed to change, not only for her, but for me as well.

Now things have turned, and she always thinks I’m mad or upset, because of the way that I say things, or the look on my face, but about 97% of the time, i’m not upset or mad.

How can I keep this from happening?

Answers and Views:

Answer by jeffster301
Don’t say anything…accept I love you

Answer by casj2006
if your not mad 97% of the time, why would she get that vibe from you? has your attitude changed? maybe it’s the little things you do that makes her feel this way….women are very observant…

Answer by jennjn1331
Think about what you say before you say it and how you think she’ll react. That’s pretty normal for any relationship~it takes time to learn how to say things and how to accept what the other person is saying w/o getting offended. Be aware of what you’re doing that’s making her believe you’re upset & try to avoid it. Practice makes perfect!

Answer by gemvamp
Clarify things for her. Don’t just make quick statements that can be taken many ways… If you explain yourself you have less of a chance of being misunderstood… Don’t assume she will always know where you are coming from, especially with your history.

Answer by Flyinbye
Maybe this is the real you. You just have not been aware of it because of the drugs.

Answer by gunga_gungalunga
don’t say anything and go down on her often.

Answer by elliecow
Wait, did my husband put this question up under a false name? Um, so, yeah, you sound just like my husband who was a total ass because of drugs and his hang-ups from them… I still can’t tell when or if he’s pissed off since he always seems that way and we’ve been together for 5 years. I suggested he should take acting classes to learn how his facial expressions should be when he’s happy vs. sad. He just looked at me like I was crazy, but who knows, it might be a good idea.

Answer by Ulrika E
Well, maybe you can try to be more aware of your facial expressions. Try practicing looking kind in a mirror a couple times a day so that you are used to it.

Also, you can just frame your conversations with her by starting your sentences, “I’m not mad or angry, I’m not bothered at all… I just want to (ask/say)…”

Add a few smiles or a compliment or two in your conversation with her so that she knows that what you are saying is not a personal attack on her.

Say that you agree to disagree or “You can think that.”

And always remember to say, “I love you,” everyday with a hug.

I hope these suggestions help.

Answer by bondlincoln17
well show her u love her by taking time to find out what is really upsetting her at any time…if she thinks u are mad, then tell her u are not…and also try ur expressions as well cos we cant always control our face and they sometimes truly reflect what is really on our minds…so just call her aside or let her cool off and tell her ”baby, i wasnt upset or nothing, i truly love u, etc, etc’

And never leave ur issues overnight…always sort them out, if u can, before u go to bed….

tell her that ur past is ur past and u have truly changed, if indeed u have, becos there is no point lying to urself or her…

let us know how it goes…we are 100% behind u

Answer by angelina_mcardle
you just gave a well formatted articulation and explanation of why you are the way you are to random strangers dude seriously tell this to you’re fiance.they call women the fairer sex because we are she will under stand stop wasting time go tell her what you just told us.

Answer by kavitha g
3% is negligible. Don’t worry. The amazing woman is only for u. Try not Speaking too much. Be a listener fist observe how she express and find out how she wants things to work.

Answer by guillermo g
it seems your fiancee is not getting the kind of attention that is needed for this situation to improve. you recognize the baggage and that just as important as recognizing the love. it seems that maybe you should have been upfront with your true self from the beginning and that could have helped. what should help is your actions from this point on. try thinking of your fiancee before yourself .

Answer by hoadiecakes2
Hi, I know what your saying and we went for counseling for this. We all were raised with parents who speak differently and with different inflection’s, so to sit down and say I hear your saying”what ever it was she heard and then she stops and listens to you. completely. If you love each other this is hard, but it works.