we don’t “make love” anymore..& it upsets me and makes me wonder..?

Lorelei’s Mommy ( & prego): we don’t “make love” anymore..& it upsets me and makes me wonder..?
So I don’t know how to state this question, other than telling you I’m 19 he’s 21, and we’ve been together for almost 2 yrs. Last time we actually made love was like a yr ago…all it is now is just sexual, I’d like to make love still, it’s like he “plays” like he’s being sweet just to get me to shutup. Why do you think he never tries making love to me anymore & only tries to be sexual with everything!? Any idea? or advice? thanks! I don’t know what to think, he says he loves me, but sure doesn’t show it either.
we have sex, but it’s never sweetly anymore, it’s only “Fun”
he always says he love me, and tries being romantic other ways, but not often, and it’s like making love is out of thw question now
I know what making love is, because we’ve done so before, and it came out of the blue, and I just miss that..

Answers and Views:

Answer by conny
The relationship is over it sounds like

Answer by [email protected]
maybe he has someone on the side, i am not trying to be mean. or maybe he just isn’t that into you anymore.

Answer by David L
You are a romantic… he isn’t. However, consider that you are also giving it up too easy. Make him work for it a little. Maybe try talking to him and telling him how you feel. Sounds like he could be taking you for granted and not appreciating you as you deserve.
making love isn’t something that starts when you go to bed. It begins in the morning before you go off to work or school. there is that special look… a wink or gentle touch. It continues when you get home.
I could go on but you get the idea. If all else fails, buy him a book. Don’t watch any porn.. thats just sex.
But talk to him a little.. see what he feels. there could be something that he feels that he just isn’t tellling you.

Answer by pinkyismygirlfriendniluvhur
you just have to say what you want

if he will help, keep him

if its a reasonable thing, not eating sh it, or something, then you deserve to find it

with or without him

Answer by pwned.9080
If I were you I wouldn’t stay, it doesn’t sound like the relationship is doing very good or even moving along.

Answer by svankmajer
Have you ever told him how you feel about this? If you’ve been together for 2 years, believe me, you’re entitled to have that conversation with him. You need to know why his attitude towards sex has changed drastically and let him know that you need to not just have sex, that he is your boyfriend, not just a one-night-stand. To want to make love in a more sexual way is normal, but not for a whole year…

Maybe he feels like he misses having sex in a casual way and not in a romantic way, because he’s just 21. But I can only assume here.

The only advice I think you can be given is to tell him everything you’ve written here. That will make him react and he’ll just have to answer to your questions and worries. After a year, I think you are in your right to tell him and you deserve to know.

Answer by wrathofkublakhan
Men are funny and men are lazy. Making love is a lot of work and if it’s repetitious without new elements the reward isn’t the same.

The problem with “talking about it” suggests that he is doing it wrong and that is a very dangerous place to go. Same with discussing your feelings — you will need a barrel full of tact.

How do you get a man to talk to you? You take him to dinner, of course. Men don’t like talking about stuff but will if there are distractions.
If you want him to make love then you might try adding some new elements like special clothes or even a gentle game with rules (you can do this after the song, you can do that after the next song, lol) you’d have to decide.

Finally, men have to learn HOW to make love. They need to be taught that there are other things besides “swinging for the fences” and going for the home run. He needs to know he is a hero for performing oral sex and that he is the champion.

Your job is the fine art of seduction. Men will fall all over themselves to look down a shirt or up a skirt much more than simple nudity. Tease him, lure him, promise him fun …. later.

Answer by arakal
This could be happening for a bunch of different reasons. You should give him a chance and tell him how you feel. Then if things don’t improve it would seem as the passion is gone in your relationship. Stereotypically, men prefer sex over making love but it’s obvious that this situation is a problem for you. And it sounds like there are some other issues bothering you besides sex. Maybe consider giving him a “this relationship isn’t working” wake up call. The fear of losing you will (hopefully) make him straighten out his priorities.