Trying to get settled?

dandelion: Trying to get settled?
In my single life, I had time to keep my little apartment clean and organized, and time for “free time” tasks. I could get out the cookbook and make a new recipe, go hang out with friends on the fly, and shopping was entertaining. Even though I had it all balanced, I had no one to really share it with.

Now I am married to the world’s greatest man, and we have a 4 bedroom house, no kids, and a few pets. I keep striving for that sense of “ok, the house is clean and organized, think I’ll go do some shopping now, and come home and try out that new recipe”. I am so busy balancing work, cooking, little annoying tasks, like packing lunches, taking out trash, laundry, cleaning our spacious home, that I rarely have time to walk the dogs or kick back and enjoy this wonderful life. I feel sort of in a rut, like I can’t enjoy anything until everything is caught up. I know you can never be “caught up”, but I’m so used to living that way that I feel disheveled if not. How do you find balance?

Answers and Views:

Answer by Cassius
Easy think of where you will be when you “kick back” and keep that place tidy. The attic will be still there for you to dust tomorrow.

Answer by NIKKI
Sounds like my life….when you find that “balance” you let me know

Answer by tls
Don’t really know, but I feel the same way. We have two boys too, so it is really hard. I think it is just life.

Answer by lizzie
i thin kevery now and then just let go take a day to not do the dishes or cook. have a fun you and your husband day, take a weekend trip every couple of months work him into the old stuff. have a night per week that you can just be you and him go to the park walk the dogs. leave work early one day and have a you day! if you donot have time make time

Answer by bootsontheroad
Balance is making time for yourself and putting it on the schedule. Realize there will always be something to “get caught up on.” Therefore, you need to prioritize self.

Answer by jaded2669
If you find it can you tell the rest of us? plzzzzzz

Answer by nwnativeprincess
“Within”

Answer by jessica.miller84
Im a mother of 2, and I have 2 cats, and heck you can count my husband in as a kid too,lol.. You just have to learn to let things go a little and make sure that you do make time for yourself. If the dishes have to get done.. just think, ya know.. Im going to go shopping, have a manicure.. come home and make a new recipe and THEN do the dishes. Just find time for yourself, even if you have to make a schedule ( dishes 4pm,laundry 5pm, me time 6pm) lol Good luck!! Just dont have kids anytime soon, your “me” time nearly dissapears all together,lol.

Answer by Magik
My wife has the same problem.

It’s a mindset you must try to overcome. Sometimes you need to say screw the housework, I’m doing it tomorrow.

You know the work will be there waiting for you so just give yourself a break.

Answer by Maureen C
Sometimes you just need to put the annoying little chores on the back burner. Take some me time or you will drive yourself crazy! The best thing to do is get away from the routine you might just find yourself a little re energised.

Answer by diva102288
Ask for help from the hubby

Answer by Yoda
You have fallen into the trap so many others have fallen into, the old let’s buy a big house even though we don’t need it!

For some reason people feel like they are not successful unless they have too big of a house. What happened to let’s be modest and have a nice house that is just big enough? Builders are making houses into large boxes with lots of rooms and nooks and cranies, I think it is wasteful to say the least, and this desire to have a big one causes people to have to work twice as hard to keep it up as a smaller one.

You my dear are trying to run before you learned how to walk. That said, unless you are willing to look into a smaller abode you must develop a system in order to reduce the stress you are feeling. You sound like a conscientious person, perhaps too, much. Lack of orginization is a huge fear for you. In order for you to find order you must prioritize and re-focus. The housewives of old used to have a schedule they would follow in order to complete all neccessary tasks. One day would be laundry day, they would plan thier meals for the week in advance. One day would be kitchen and bath clean up and one day bedrooms. Dining and living rooms would be another. Now as you ponder this remember that they had to do this without all of the wonder appliances we have today and they amazing new cleaning products that grace our pantries.

Also, as you mature into a long term relationship the diversions that once kept you busy should begin to wane and not be as important to you, it is called growing up. The music at the clubs gets too loud, the crowds too obnoxious, the cost too high.

The price you now have to pay is less diversion and more responsibility to the extra large home you felt neccessary to buy.

As you age you will come to realize, hopefully not too late, that in life simple is best. By living simply you allow yourself more time to be creative, to explore life and have more relaxing time. Please hear me, simple is best. Stress is the number one cause of death and illness in this country. One day hopefully people will realize that having it all is really not worth it. Having a nice modest house, good food and more time to enjoy our short life is the secret to happiness.

I watched them build 60 large houses behind my 1960’s built home. I often wonder how they find the time to enjoy themselves after having to make a larger than needed mortgage, electric and utilities bills. I see them furiously running in every direction looking for happiness only to find less and less time and more and more stress.

Simplify your life and you will find the balance you seek.

Yoda out