My sister witnessed a cat being killed and is traumatised. How can I help her?

she_noir: My sister witnessed a cat being killed and is traumatised. How can I help her?
I feel awful knowing what she has just seen. A cat was running around a bus station looking frightened and ran under a bus, which then ran over it. It couldn’t have seen her, and it sounds like it was killed instantly.
My poor sister is hysterical, and I worry that she has had such a bad week that she will end up getting very depressed and traumatised. It’s too late to see a doctor and get some sleeping tablets or something to help her through the weekend, but I suggested going to the hospital to talk to someone. I am so worried for her right now and wish I could be there to console her. It couldn’t be helped and these things happen all the time, but I know she is fragile and that wasn’t something she needed to see.
She is 24 and very vulnerable as she has just split from her boyfriend and in the worst position(he now works where she does). She also has a few more problems that make her sensitive and in need of comfort.
We were brought up with cats, but I don’t think it’s the fact it was a cat, it was a living creature that someone loved as a pet and there it was, squished in the road. Not a nice thing to see.
She has never had to deal with something like this before and I think if she had not had such a rough week maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
I know she will be fine in a few days and pills won’t sort it longterm, it’s just the worst start to the weekend after an awful week, and I’m very concerned for her as she has been so down lately.

Answers and Views:

Answer by tdjnonstop
i say you get her a cat and nake her happy…

Answer by MetalDevil
sounds like my brother. she needs to toughen up.

Answer by Laid Back
Find someone with a new kitten, and let her pet it.
Puts things in balance and pespective.

Answer by Smacker!!!
Just tell her:
“Don’t worry, it was just a cat…at least it wasn’t a dog”

Answer by analicia_d82
How old is your sis? This is a traumatic event, I don’t know if sleeping pills are in order though. Is she afraid of cats now, or buses, is this interfering with her normal functioning? If not, she may just need a few days to recover and maybe if you talk to her about it it can be okay. If so, she may need to talk to someone depending on how bad things get. If she has recurring nightmares, flashbacks, hallucinations, severe anxiety, mood swings, gets angry quickly, then she more than likely has PTSD, get her to a therapist of some sort, they can help her through this by reliving the trauma, in a sense, not actually re-experiencing it, just talking or writing about it. Good luck with whatever you all decide.

Answer by reb3mo
let her know that you love her and not all bus,s are bad

Answer by NikkiButler
Depends on her age…….I would explain that accidents happen, and cats have 9 lives!! You never know, that cat could be living on the streets and hungry….now she’s in heaven, eating fish and getting fat!! You need to rationalize with her and help her understand that yes it is sooooo very sad, but you can’t live like that. What happens when someone (a human) close to her dies????? That’s my concern.

Answer by kat12
One time I was petting a random cat in the city and the next it was crossing the street and was hit. It was still writhing and took a few secs to die and that really stuck in my head. It was kinda one of those slow motion things. I often thought to myself what if I had just held the cat or something for just two secs. Death happens though and the cat isnt in pain right now. I think get that point across about the pain not being there anymore. Also its no ones fault.

Answer by emtd65
I do not really have the answer. I had this happen last year with my neighbors dog, who then lay in my arms until it was over. It still haunts me. Then a few weeks ago their new dog was hit and I had to go to identify him at the animal emergency – I was so mad at my neighbors ! He is OK after having a metal plate placed at his hip. I guess I take my refuge in my pets and taking excellent care of them, meeting all their needs and keeping them safe. Just hug her and remind her the kitty has gone to heaven. God Bless.

Answer by Juno
tell her that accidents happen and all life must eventually come to an end whether we want it to or not…

idk if this might work for her, but it worked for my neighbor when her cat died…O.o

Answer by Amarena
I’m not exactly an expert, but don’t give her pills and don’t take her to the doctor because she’d feel worse. She’s not ill, there’s no point to take her to a doctor. Take her to Mc Donald’s, or the the circus, or to a park and place where kids have lots of fun and lay off a little with her homeworks. Bake her a pie that she likes, play with her…I bet she’ll feel great.
One more thing…and I think this is very IMPORTANT : talk about what she saw with her, even if you don’t know what to say, the important thing is that she says what she feels, that will help.
I hope she’ll be OK. Tell her I said “Hi!”, if you want to. 🙂
P.S.: My little sister got bullied at school today 🙁

Answer by Bex
i saw a pidgeon get killed in exactly the same way, except the bus moved SO slowly (as it was waiting for someone to let it enter the traffic) and the poor bird was just laying there with half its body squahed, waiting to die. ouch. when the bus finall pulled fully away, guts and mess everywhere, was really horrible

so yeah, basically your sister needs a little sympathy right now, it shouldnt be hard to get over something like this because it happens a lot, i think she probably knows that but due to what you said about her bad week i assume she has some other issues to deal with, and seeing what she saw wasnt what she needs right now

dont feel awful, it wasnt your fault. i know that sounds obvious, but some people who have to deal with a traumatised family member often get the weight chucked onto their shoulders as they are helpless

your sister will most definately have the image of the cat being klled in her mind for quite a long time, so remain sensitive to the subject and make sure NOBODY who knows about it makes jokes. try and do something with her that will take her mind off it, like go to the movies. dont take her out for a meal as eating may make her feel sick. it may not – but you never know. so yeah, something to take her mind off it even if its just sitting chatting about random stuff or watching something on tv or at the movies.

you could go to a drugstore and get her kalms, they aid natural sleep, i use them myself and they’re quite good. alternativly, if you really think its that bad, that her to hospital to talk to someone like you suggested. however, if she thinks its unnecessary, dont push it

Good luck, i do hope she feels better soon =)

Answer by jambutty
if you cannot be there with her please find someone who can be.
your sister has had a terrible experience and needs comfort and distraction over the weekend.
Is it possible for her to come and stay with you?
if not keep her close by phone and email , just stay constantly in touch with her every step of the way.
remind her what happenend was no ones fault and was an unavoidable accident and as horrible as it was the cat was killed so quickly it would have felt no pain.
for the time being she needs to be occupied so suggest she catch up with friends goes to see a movie or for coffee to keep herself busy.
once the weekend is passed encourage her to see her Dr taking pills is not a good idea because they can become a crutch and stop us dealing with the usual traumas of life but perhaps counselling would be good for a while to help her get her strength back.
good luck

Answer by JustMe
She needs to talk about it, preferably with a doctor or therapist.

Answer by suzanne g
If she’s so fragile, she should be under a dr.’s care. Keep close watch on her this weekend, be with her, keep her distracted and occupied. Urge her to seek medical help on Mon.

I agree with those who say get her a kitty. Urge her to adopt one from the pound, that way she is saving a little life. The pound also always needs volunteers to just pet and interact w/ the animals – that would be healing for her.

Answer by bill p
Oh please…are you for real?? A CAT?? I spent two tours in Viet Nam as a teenager….CATS???? Get real………..

She’s not fragile…she’s WHACK!!!

Answer by Barbie Girl
Don’t put your sister on pills that’s the worse thing you could do.
You can try to get her to talk to someone but you should try talking to her first because it’s so nice when your sis will take time to console you.

Answer by PTSDer
If she is that fragile she already should be seeing a doctor. It is a cat and not even her cat or one she knows? If that really freaks her out she will be in really bad shape when the inevitable real issues life suprises you with pop up. It was unfortunate, not trauma!

To the person who tried to lump it in with PTSD, learn what PTSD is first. It most certainly does not come from seeing a kitty get run over. Also, PTSD does not form in a matter of days when you do come across actual trauma, PTS may but PTSD, it doesn’t go away. Your blatant ignorance in your response to this person is offensive to the senses.