My fiancee was busted by the Feds at my house and they kicked in my front door! My wife is going to be angry!?

Monsieur Kermit: My fiancee was busted by the Feds at my house and they kicked in my front door! My wife is going to be angry!?
unless I can get this taken care of quickly.

Does anyone know the procedure for getting the federal government to fix damage done during an investigation?

This was done on Saturday, and it needs to be fixed by the 27th of August, when my wife returns from her Christian missions trip to Colombia. Otherwise I will have to explain to her that our fall budget will have to include fixing a door, and I suppose I’ll have to tell her how it happened too.

Also, my fiancee is overweight.

Thanks!

Answers and Views:

Answer by ♣4×4♠
Well, first things first, your wife must never know the truth. Blame it on some sort of global warming and your cat.

Answer by JPC
Your just making stuff up now….

Answer by Courtney
okay, wait…………

y do u have a fiancee and a wife???????

Answer by the questioner
well, just take some money out of your illegal drug dealing funds and fix it.

is that why the feds busted in on you? it’s okay, it happened to me last week.

Answer by xxgreendayxx
um why do you have a fiancee AND a wife? your gonna have to explain alot more than a broken door…..

Answer by AJPierzynskis’
Overweight? Your fiance is overweight? Dump her, she is not worth the hassle.

Answer by old lady
Good joke!
When you tell stories like this, however, you need to do a little more work on the preamble.

Answer by JerseyBtch
whatever dude

Answer by shonda6777
Sounds to me like you need to tell your wife the truth if you have a fiance and if you really loved your fiance you would have never made the comment about her weight, I think that you are a selfish person to be living two sepereate lives and it is very unfair to the women. Grow up get over yourself and tell the truth.

Answer by che che
Sorry but I’m confused…but simply go to the police department and say you broke down my door and I expect you will be paying for it…if they refuse just go into a law suit you should win! Without causing a dent in your budget

Answer by lifetime rocker
Well the feds do not fix damage done during a bust. If you are worried about the wife you might consider lifting some weights so you can protect yourself in case thing come to blows.

Answer by bill g
Are you kidding me , you have a wife and a fiancee ? you deserve what you get.

Answer by tripsbaby
You are full of Shhh*ttt.

Your question makes no sense, and if you do have a wife and a fiancee both, then you are a pig!

Answer by dee
You reap what you sow!!! Personally I think you’re making this up

Answer by kearneyconsulting
What a story. Good luck in the future.

Answer by chappy_25_99
Easy 2 pts…………………… good imagination though

Answer by satchmo
Just explain to your wife that you thought that your fiancee was inside the house with another man and that you broke down the door because it just wasn’t right for her to be screwing another man in her house.

Answer by bobthebuilder
A similar thing happened to me…Surprisingly enough!

My is at church and I had my gay lover over. Naturally, he brought all his hamsters with him. Well, the cage door got left open and they all got loose. So we decided to vaccuum them up. It was working fine until we sucked up a fat one. The vacuum motor burned out and started a small fire. The air started to smell like burning hair and you could hear the little guys trapped in the belly of the burning vacuum. So we threw it out back and hosed it down.

Just them, the doorbell rang. It was a cubscout and wanting to sell us popcorn so he could go to camp. Well, his dad was waiting outside the door with him and noticed the loveplay instruments strewn about the livingroom. He locked little Johnny in the car for a while and told him he needed to visit with us nice men. He was an agressive man and broke the lamp sitting on my wife’s nightstand.

She’ll be home any minute…What should I do so she doesn’t find out the truth, or should I just tell her.

Also, my gay lover has a small penis.

Answer by dadcat00759
Well perhaps when your wife returns she will be more concerned about the door and you could always tell her that the dog really wanted out and you didn’t get to the door intime.Then she won’t even know about the other women because if she was busted she will be tied up in jail for awhile right.Problem solved.

Good luck

Answer by ompelle
If your wife is a true Christian then she will understand… they believe in forgiveness and all that crap. If she doesn’t forgive you, change the subject to what a bad Christian she is and she will decend into the fires of hell unless she changes her mind. Tell her to pay for her sins by fixing the door herself and that all will be forgotten after she apologizes to God and the baby Jesus… and your mother – just for laughs. Leave the fiancee out of it all together and carry on living your blasphemous life like nothing happend. Good luck.

Answer by Prof. McCain
That is the third time today ompelle stole my answer!

Answer by plumber
mess with a bull you may get horned,horny!

Answer by coachotis
That’s a good one, but I don’t have any witty remarks?????

Answer by cowboydoc
Huh! it sounds like your dead meat. I don’t know about Federal but, I had a contract with the police department of a large Southwestern city for these repairs. They replaced and/or fixed the damages done to people that had nothing to do with the crime, as you had.
Contact the police department and find out what the general rule with them is, they might have a fund for innocent people. Otherwise you’d better get out the credit card and go to work.

Answer by Star light
That’s to bad about your fiancee being overweight.
The government is only good at messing things up,not fixing them.
August 27th?That’s 2 days after UFC 74.