Are you a mother to a young child and work outside the home? How do you deal with it?

PrettyWifey: Are you a mother to a young child and work outside the home? How do you deal with it?
I am having my first baby in the summer. I will be home for 3 months after the baby’s birth. I have to go back to work because we can’t get medical insurance through my husband’s employer, and my husband’s paychecks are not 100% stable due to his business industry.

I have worked out a new schedule with my boss, I will work from 7:30am to 2pm everyday and my mom will watch the baby while I work.

Are you a mother to a young child and work outside the home? How do you deal with it?

I have to work or we won’t be able to make the modest mortgage payments on our house. I REFUSE to allow my husband to work two jobs, that is out of the question as he wants to be with the child as much as possible too.

Will I feel guilty?

Answers and Views:

Answer by Godless
I did it, with two babies, and it was hard, it made me feel guilty and cry. I was a single parent, and I had to realize that it was the right thing to do, because I would have felt worse had I not met my financial obligations and ended up putting us in a bad spot. You have their father, and your mother, and they will be just fine, nothing to worry about. Also, being around your baby all the time can drive you crazy after a while, you need to get out and around other adults and do other things. It will be better for everyone.

Answer by freezynose
The first week, you will miss your baby but after you will appreciate her even more when you come home from work. You won’t feel as overwhelmed with her as if you would be taking care of her all day long. Trust me on this….

Answer by keonli
My fiancee and I are in the same exact boat! i don’t think you should feel guilty about working since you’ll be home to take care of your child after work. My fiancee will be working third shift and I’ll be working from 8-4:15. Since I am in within walking distance of my workplace, I will be home for an hour for lunch while my mother watches my son, who is due in June. My fiancee and I feel that the financial care we can offer our son by having both of us working does not detract from us also having quality time with him. You will have three months with him, but the time with him doesn’t stop then! You’ll still be home every day caring for him and loving him. And the fact that you are working instead of having an absent father figure for your child shows how much you care for his or her financial, mental, and emotional well-being!

Answer by ,,!,,baddest~lil~b!tch,,!,,
You might feel guilty a little at first. But as time goes by, you will cherish the childless time you have. I am a mother of 4 children, ranging from 11 1/2 to 9 months. And I remember how hard it was for me leaving my first born. But now, as a mom to more, I look forward to going to work, and having a little grown up time. lol It will be alright, and your child will be with family which makes it an easier transition on you!
Congrats & enjoy the time you have to yourself with your hubby while you still have it!

Answer by Katie N
The hardest part is finding someone that you trust your child with. You sound like you’ve done that. You’ll be at ease because your child will be with your mother. Make the moments count when you have your time with your child. Don’t let the stress of your job rub off on the quality time you have with your new baby. They grow up way to fast to miss any sort of opportunity to cherrish their every move…even when it’s being awake all hours of the night…because as soon as they smile at you, laugh with you…it all washes away.

Answer by meg
at first yes, you will feel guilty and you will worry non stop about your baby and even debate weather to quit your job. However, it will get better and you will get used to being away from your baby while you are working. I cried the first time i had to leave my baby, but i realized that i have to work to be able to take care of her and give her the things she needs. Although you are at work, it does give you a little break from the baby, everyone needs a little break every now and then. I agree with you not letting your husband work two jobs, he does need to be around and be in the babies life to, he plays an important role also. When the baby gets a little older, its exciting when you come home, because they are so excited to see you and glad you are home.

Also, getting of at 2 is really good, because you will have most of the day to be with your child. Just be grateful that your mother will be able to babysit and your child will not have to go to a day care at such a young age.

just wait it out, everything will work out, and good luck.

Answer by Marianimal
Yes you will probably feel guilty. But the luckiest part about this situation is your mom will be watching your baby and nothing beats family! Imagine how you would feel if you had to leave your baby in a day-care setting.

I, like you, was lucky enough to have my sister-in-law watch my daughter for the first year. After that I got a new job and had to put my daughter in a private home run day-care.

I don’t know how I go through it. But I did. I just used the hours I had off work as wisely as I could and I spent every free moment holding and loving my baby. And we are both doing just fine!!

So in closing, yes you will probably feel guilty, but there is no need for you to. You are providing a stable home for your baby and meeting all of his/her needs. You will be fine.

Answer by Kim
You may feel guilty, but try not to. This is a very difficult decision, and you have made the right one for your family. It is wonderful that your boss will let you adjust your hours. I have to drop my kids (they are now 3 and 4) off at school/daycare at 7:00 am and I don’t get to see them until around 7:00p.m. That is very hard. Also you are so blessed to have your mother watch your baby. That in itself takes so much worry out of the situation. Not that you won’t worry, that is inevitable. You are doing the right thing. Just think of all the benefits you and your family will have from you going back to work. There is the medical benefits, the financial benefits and a lot of emotional benefits as well, your husband can relax and spend quality time with the baby as well. That is a wonderful quality. You are a truly blessed family. Now for the easy part, sit back and have a wonderful 3 months bonding with your new bundle of joy!
Good Luck and God Bless!

Answer by TD R
My daughter is now 6 and in Kindergarten, I have worked full-time since she was born. It’s hard at first, but it gets easier. Your very lucky that family can help you out, I did not have that . There is no reason you should feel guilty. Your doing exactly what you need to do. As your child gets older you’ll want them to socialize and have others to play with. Keeping your child at home, is not alsways the best thing for them. Plus, you will cherish the time you do spend with them because you spend that time aprt while your at work.

Answer by Mom madness
Its hard but you get use to it. I had 2 young ones and had to go back to work because one income doesnt cut it nowadays. I have a job outside the home and also a part time at home job so my time with my kids is limited. But its about sacrifice. If you want a better future for your family you have to sacrifice. Your baby will understand when he is older. No need to feel guilty. Also you not wanting your husband to get another job is totally understandable. Good luck

Answer by KitKat
You are lucky to get that schedule. You will have the rest of the afternoon and evening with your little one and that is great!

Answer by ali-b
It is very hard to leave your baby, and I stayed at home with him until he was 3. I thought it would be better for him to go to a church daycare, and learn how to interact with children his own age to build up his communication skills a little. I feel better now that I have a career and he is in school, because I know he is being taken care of, and learning new things, and I am also being able to take care of myself and my finances. There will be times you feel guilty, I still do sometimes, but just knowing that he will be better because of it in the end keeps me feeling ok with the whole thing.

Answer by laineyhaz0101
My daughter is 21 months old and i have been back at work since she was one. my husband and i work opposite shifts so he is home during the day with her and when i get home, he leaves. I felt sad and a little guilty the first weeks back, but then that subsides and you go about your work day and see them when you get home. i love coming home after a long hard day and my daughter is so happy to see me and runs up to me to give me a hug and kiss. it makes my whole day.

Answer by growing inside
Yes, you will feel guilty about leaving your baby and worry about her, esp. at first. And you will fell guilty about letting down your co-workers when you early at two on a busy day or have to take time off when the kid is sick.
But, it sounds like you have a great situation with your mom being able to take care of the baby and the reduced hours. And you will enjoy having some adult company at work and being able to do something other than feeding and changing (and then you will feel guilty that the kid is not enough to satisfy all your emotional needs) Welcome to the land of no guilt-free choice!
Good luck with your baby

Answer by Char
Try not to feel guilty. You are doing the best you can. I’m glad your mother will be able to help with that too. Just let your chlid know that he/she is your whole world when you are with them.
Best wishes.

Answer by bpbjess
My mum stayed home with me for a year before going back to work (and then a year again after she had my sister), but besides that I was at a babysitter everyday from 7-4, and I loved it! I grew up to be nice, normal and have a good relationship with my parents. I never felt like I was missing out on quality time with either parent, and weekends were always a fun time to be a family.

You might feel guilty, but know that you are doing the right thing. You are providing a future for your child, ensuring your husband doesn’t have a nervous breakdown and allowing time for both you and your husband to develop a relationship with your child.

Good luck with the pregnancy and baby!

Answer by Christina L
You will always feel guilty. But in this time in life you need to paychecks in the household to have a good live.

You are going to feel empty, tired and guilty and miss your child.
But you will realize that you child is in good hands and you are just working for your child to have a good life.

My daughter is 4yrs old now and I still sometimes feel bad. Specially when I stay home with her for a couple of days, then she cries because she does not want me to go to work. Yeah its hurts but I need to work for she could live a good life.