Is it wrong to postpone setting a wedding date due to your fiancee’s debt?

Christy T: Is it wrong to postpone setting a wedding date due to your fiancee’s debt?
I am 38 with three children that I take care of on my one income. I do not have any debt at all. My fiancee owes about $ 40, 000. Should I be worried since we marry that the debt will be OURS and not just HIS? He pays his bills on time and he makes good money.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Jessy
Yes, once you marry the debt becomes your’s.

Answer by Muse Me
No. His debt going into a marriage is HIS, and anything of yours (debts or assets) are yours and whatever you two acquire during the marriage (debt or assets) is considered to be community property.

Consult an attorney if you’re that worried about it, or just do a simple prenuptual agreement.

Answer by Its me )-what were you thinking
Well ,that’s what marriage is about isn’t it? If you want to get married then the persons debt/property/love/bad times/good times/etc, everything becomes yours.talk to him about this. see how he plans to repay his debt. Talk the finances out and then take the plunge!

Answer by BabeHart
It’s quite wise to consider finances and not marry until you two are ready and know you can handle whatever debt either of you has…you always need to consider what could affect either of you negatively in the long run…

Answer by Alison S
I don’t see any reason to postpone the wedding unless you cannot afford the wedding because of the debt. Honestly, $ 40,000 doesn’t seem that much to me, but I suppose that is because I have $ 50,000 in school loans.

Answer by Stewie
Before I got married I insisted that all debt be cleared. My first wife had a ton a debt I didnt know about and it made for a horrible situation, creditors calling day and night, I got turned down for a loan because of her debt.
So 2nd time around We each got credit reports and cleared up all debt, this way we were both in the clear.

Victory is Mine

Answer by BlOnDiE
no, his debt will not become yours. anything accrued before the marriage (assets, debt etc.) is yours or his. now, if you would get married tomorrow and he racked up another $ 40k in debt, then you also MAY be responsible for that. the laws vary from state to state.

and to answer your question, NO, it’s not wrong!
i would also want to make sure i wasn’t going to inherit someone else’s debt!

Answer by Mark H
His debt probably won’t become yours in the sense that you won’t become legally responsible for most debts that do not have your name on them. You will become responsible in the sense that household expenses will be shared and his debt will affect you in that some of your income will likely go toward dealing with his financial issues. It would be wise of you to delay marrying him until he shows himself to be responsible. Ask him to make a plan for paying down his debts so that the two of you are not unnecessarily burdened in marriage by this. He doesn’t need to have it all paid off before you marry, but he should have a plan in place with progress being made before you make such a big commitment.

Answer by Been There
You need to first check out the laws to see if you would be held jointly responsible for his debt.

But if he owes $ 40,000 and it’s not for an education, car or house … he has problems handling money. And one way or another, these problems will become yours too, once you are together. Even if you do not become legally responsible for his debts once you two are married, if he were to get sick and could no longer work … you’d be faced with the prospect of paying his bills or kicking him out .. both equally difficult.

I would not marry someone who had debts that exceeded my own capacity to pay them and to simultaneously support the family on my income alone. Therefore, I think it is not unreasonable to postpone the wedding until he has either paid off his, or at least paid them down to a level that you could afford if he became ill.

In reality, however, it doesn’t matter one bit what I think. What matters is what he thinks and whether or not the two of you can find agreement on this issue. If you can’t, then now – before you are married – is a good time to find that out.

Answer by J Alves
All the financial counselors I’ve read say to postpone the wedding until the debt is cleared or you are asking for trouble. (Note: if the debt is due to a car purchase or a house purchase it is not such a red flag but if it is due to spending patterns that exceed income (ie restaurants, vacations, or general stuff) then it is a definite problem.) Just remember that any debt he runs up after the marriage is half yours (and you will be saddled with it if the marriage fails.) Make sure that that is the absolute amount of debt also–some admit to some debt only to have much more debt than they admitted to. Good luck.

Answer by BRAE
any debt he acquired before marriage is his alone. postponing the wedding due to it is a decision you will have to make on your own and be comfortable with , no one else will have to live with your decision. but if it were me i wouldnt postpone it .

Answer by jaded
does he owe on a house? or is this junk debt on credit cards or worse?
you know his financial habits, it isnt that he has debt, it is how he uses and abuses money that would either make him a responsible bet or a nightmare to live with.

buy and read total money makeover, by dave ramsey, because part of the book talks about approaching finances as a family and being on the same page ….and another talks about getting out of debt fast and not going back into debt.

Answer by Datta Prasad
Once you feel he is yours, then all his liabilities are yours.
SWEET MILDRED IS MY LEADER..JOIN ME IN HER PLAYPEN…

Answer by Steve Elliot
not sure hmmm