How would you solve this certain aspect of the divorce problem?

qcfx2a: How would you solve this certain aspect of the divorce problem?
For some of you who don’t know, America now has a 50+% divorce rate which anyone with a right mind could tell that its a big problem.

Some sociologists and psychiatrists say that one way to solve the divorce problem is to teach people, especially children, the importance of strong family values and strength of character.

But modern day television shows plots where characters are divorced or remarrying and how involved characters deal with it. Even children’s shows have this, usually to help children deal with divorced or remarrying parents.

But the problem is these plots get misinterpreted by kids. That aside from learning how to deal, they get the impression that divorce IS inevitable. That marriage will ALWAYS be temporary.

So now how would you teach kids how to deal with their divorced/remarried parents AND at the same time teach them the importance of strong family values?

Answers and Views:

Answer by semoangel70
First to lower the divorce rate raise the price of the marriage license to 10 grand and the divorce be 50 bucks.

Answer by SIDharth Raina
ppl cant face truth……& thier own mistakes……. so they take divorce…. just to satisfy their ego….

Answer by chicpower
Children live what they learn. My parents divorced when I was 11 (and thank GOD for that cause we were all miserable) but both parents remarried and have been with their new partners for 25 years. They have all shown, by example, what love and marriage and “working it out” is all about. They really beat the odds. I’ve been married 3 times but have already been with my current husband longer than both my previous marriages combined (including dating) and we have vowed to make it work and do whatever it takes to stay strong. We have a child together (no other children from previous marriages) and work hard to show her what love and marriage is all about.

Answer by momuv5
I am the step mom to two children and we never taught them this theory of “Ooh! Now you get to have TWO birthday parties and you get TWO mommies, blah blah blah…” because we didn’t want them to think that was cool. We want them to understand that this does suck and we’re sorry they have to endure it, but they also need to learn from it. As for kids t.v., don’t even get me started. What ever happened to Leave It To Beaver?

Answer by november rain
tell them that some couples don’t value the vows. it easy when your standing up at the alter and you say i do to sickness and health and thick and thin. but when things start to get tough they don’t Even recall their vows. in the beginning of the marriage they are so eager to get married they don’t care whats coming out of their mouth they think its going to be a fairy tale. kids need to be brought up that it is hard having and keeping a marriage and they need to think about it before they jump into it.

Answer by twitsy1969
I think parents, divorced or not, should teach their children to not make a hasty decision when choosing a spouse and not to marry for the fear of being alone. Children should be taught that romance comes and goes but friendship sticks like glue, so marry someone you are friends with so that when the romance is on a vacation, you can stand to be around the person you are married to.

Answer by br_tigerfan
If the shows had more realistic depictions of what it’s like for a kid, that would help. My parents are divorced, and I became so tired of being shuffled back and forth between homes, especially at holidays. If they showed the pain of not being able to play with your friends in the neighborhood on the weekend because you had to go to your other parent, that would help.
If they showed what happens when the child marries, and one of the parents doesn’t want to go to the wedding because their ex is there, that would help.
If they showed what happens when the child graduates High School, and the parents don’t want to take a picture together with their child like all of the other parents do, that would help also.

Answer by Moses
That is a good question and a very difficult one to answer.
I come from a divorced family and I am also divorced. It is very painful on both sides. Believe it or not my family values are very strong considering. My parents divorced and why is between them and God. My situation is due to an unfaithful husband multiple times. Do you teach your children that it is ok to stay in a relationship that is far from being of family values with a cheating spouse or do you move on and continue to express morals and values? It is very disturbing what our children have access to these days. Love them with all of your heart and guide them well with GOD!

Answer by Booklover
You have no control of what others around you are doing. Make sure your kids know this, or they will be miserable.

Make sure that they know that real life is not like TV life.

Practice what you preach. Show them the kind of marriage you want them to have some day.

If you’re divorced, tell them why on an age approriate level. It IS going to be tougher because your kid will say, “but YOU did it.” That, however, is no reason to turn around and say “well, I did it so I guess I can’t tell you not to.” That’s VERY bad parenting.

Be honest and say mistakes were made and you wish it could be another way, but its not. Tell them that you want the very BEST for them and that includes a marriage that lasts forever. Talk with them about relationships. Show them how to solve conflicts. Talk with them about making good decisions in partners. What is a good reason to get married? Because you “feel” in love? There are a lot of other considerations.

Answer by ♥WI Chick♥
It all boils down to this:
People these days are very selfish and are all about ‘me’.

I try to teach my children RESPECT!! I am honestly afraid that they are going to be the only people in society that are going to respect others!

Answer by AlenaT
This issue is a little bit complicated and actually needs more steps..
let’s start with the marriage…the problem that adds to the divorces is the fact that people under 24 or so are getting married for wrong reasons and even what’s worst…to the wrong person…
the second is the money situation that causes the most families to fall apart…the society puts too much pressure on parents and in order to take care of their kids they sometimes work 2 jobs or on opposite shifts so there’s a big fat chance that the couple do grow apart because they are basically not together…
and then the kids are raised by TV and videogames because their parents are way too exhausted to give them any attention…
so where are people suppose to be learning about life’s meaning?
I would suggest at school ….school system should be changed…we are not the same people we were 20 years ago and we have to addopt to the situation and respond by reteaching kids the real values of the life…
and why do people end up divorcing themself? another woman or man?
Unfortunately people’s memory is too short and they forgot about the fact that the beggining of the relationship is the best and as soon as the first problem occurs they have tendancy to back up from responsibility…they just do not realizes that the new relationship sooner or later will end up on the same level when the first marriage was left behind…
what a shame…and I taught that our nation was getting smarter…:-)

Answer by **A*L**
Perhaps every couple wanting to get married should have to take some sort of class. Many people get married and when they hit a rough patch they call it quits instead of seeking help. They need to be taught that no relationship (spouse or otherwise) is going to function properly without communication.

Unfortunately though, too many people marry someone with the mindset that if it doesn’t work, they can just get divorced.

I hate to bring this up but even as a woman I feel it’s true. Women used to have the role to be the primary caregiver and the husband provided for the family. These days we live in a society where nobody seems to be okay with just getting by. Instead they want everything and they want it now. That adds to the need for 2 parents to work and a stranger to raise the kids for the first few important years and for some even longer.

I don’t personally think they are learning that marriage will always be temporary but instead are learning that it’s perfectly okay if it is.

We’re teaching our kids family values by turning off the tv and spending time with our kids. We’re interested in showing them what a strong healthy relationship looks like so that someday perhaps that little red flag will go up if they are on the wrong end.

I just have to point out that I wouldn’t begin to actually understand dealing with divorced parents seeing as mine & my husband’s parents are all still married.

Answer by Apple Tart
Expose them to friends and family members who have healthy relationships and confidence in themselves whether married, single, or divorced. Show them that not every divorced family is hurtful, bitter, and seeking vengeance. Show them that a long lasting marriage is possible. Keep the lines of communication open and lead by example.

Answer by Momto2inFL
I think lots of kids and adults tend to forget what respecting someone is all about. So because respect is a very big deal regarding how someone talks to you, treats you, I think it’s important to make sure it’s taught.

It’s kind of like learning to respect yourself, respect others for who they are and what they stand for whether you agree or disagree, respecting your elders, respect other people’s bodies.

Lots of marriages fail because one spouse doesn’t hold the same respect for the other. And if there’s fighting going on and we don’t respect what each other has to say, kids witness a free for all battle with no respect.

I know I keep throwing that word around, but I really believe it could change things. My grandparents were married for 52 yrs before my grandfather passed on. And I see the love they shared, the respect they had for one another, and I see how their kids turned out. And when they passed, I saw the respect and love that they had passed on as a lesson with all that showed up to their funerals. And I want more than anything to be able to share THAT and teach that to my kids.

Answer by olschoolmom
It all starts with parenting. Divorce is NEVER an option. How is that? Don’t get married until your blinders are off, and you know your partner’s every flaw. You should marry your best friend, someone you have lots in common with, because when the initial infatuation wears off, you still have a strong loving bond with him/her.