Kaybee: Step-Mom, Biological Mom communication?
How necessary is it for these two to interact?
I’ve read so many different opinions.
Shouldn’t the primary source of communication be between the actual parents regarding the kids schedules and activities?
If Step-Mom has communicated that she is supportive of the Biological Co-Parenting of the kids and is happy with being a friend and role model to the kids…. why is Biological Mom communicating that this is not an acceptable situation?
Wouldn’t the biological Mom appreciate the fact that Step -Mom is not trying to “take over” the Mother role?
Shouldn’t the parents BE the parents?
Why does Biological Mom insist on communications with Step-Mom?
Aren’t her children the best source of information regarding the Step- mom’s interactions with her children?
I just can’t wrap my mind around the logic of this as a necessary part of Co-Parenting.
Answers and Views:
Answer by Verity Watson
I think all three parents ought to talk. But this is based on my best friend’s experiences, not my own.
From her perspective, there will certainly be times when they have to talk. Better to make it a routine and civil interaction than only a worst-case-scenario one.
She married a man with a 5 y.o., and I must say that they appear to have smoothly blended their families. I admire her, and I can’t help but think that her commonsense approach to talking to someone she might not actually consider a friend is the right one.
Answer by lorena
Biological parents have the last say….but if the step parent wants to be a part then he/she should do so by communicating to both biological parents everything from what types of food are ok to what type of punishment should the child receive when he/she has done something wrong the step parent should never take matters into her/his own hands…
Answer by Angela C
I think Step Moms, should communicate with Mom, but let Mom and Dad make decisions and rules, etc. Everyone should just do their best to get along.
Answer by Allison P
I’m a stepmom, and my stepson has four parents. It’s great because we all communicate very well. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Answer by mysticalsunshine06
Aren’t her children the best source of information regarding the Step- mom’s interactions with her children?–that is a BIG NO NO…you don’t “pump” information out of the kids about what is going on over at daddy’s house. Not a good thing to do. It is best that first the parents of the children sit down and talk, and from there the step parents need to know what the parents decided and thats what the step parents need to work with. If Bio-Mom and Step Mom can communicate, that’s even better. There should be more communication and less fighting..that way everyone is on the same page, and the kids are happy too. They are not put in the tug of war of co parents.
Answer by Invisigoth
I agree that the primary communication should be between the parents and that the stepmom should be the supportive bystander. But sometimes it may be necessary for the BioMom and StepMom to communicate.
What exactly is BioMom trying to communicate to you? Are you perhaps a bit stand offish or too hands off with the kids and they are saying to their mom that you don’t like them? Is she telling you about something that their father needs to know but he isn’t around to hear it?
It really all depends on what she’s trying to tell you.
Answer by September Sweetie
Unfortunately, the step mom role is a very hard role to play. The step mom can the nicest person in the world and treats her husband’s kids with the upmost respect and lots of love. However, the biological mom does not see it this way. She looks at this woman as a predator trying to take her place. It would be nice if these 2 women could get along but chances are it will not happen…. Just tolerate each other and keep the sassy, rude remarks away from the children’s ears.
Answer by ghetto_princess283
My mom and step mom never really communicated. If my step mom dropped my off at my moms she would just wait until I got in the door and give my mom a little wave. Honestly I don’t think it is necessary. I was always perfectly fine with how my family was. I agree with you 100% star for you!
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