How do I reach orgasm with my boyfriend?

Carrie is THE SEX: How do I reach orgasm with my boyfriend?
I have an issue when it comes to reaching orgasm. I’ve looked up this issue online and have tried everything it says: stimulating the clit, trying all sorts of different positions, elevating myself. Nothing works. My boyfriend doesn’t finish too fast, he actually lasts for a good while. I have reached orgasm 3 or 4 times, but considering the 5 years we’ve been together, that’s not a lot. Can anyone give me some ideas?

Answers and Views:

Answer by Hio
he’s not the right one for you. i’m sorry.

Answer by Rachel
you need to focus more on the situation. women like to think about random things during sex and it takes away from the amazing feeling. you need to focus soley on your man and what he is doing for you. Try having him talk dirty to you or send you a naughty txt when ur at work. but mainly focus and have him try new things. maybe its time to switch it up?!

Answer by pimpnamedslickback
lol put your hand down they’re and help him out.

Answer by ~Matt~
Just close your eye’s and pretend your in space. Relax and just pretend it’s the last time youll have sex. I like to go really really slow because its awsoome.

Answer by kim
i used to have problems too. i just have to focus on clearing my mind and not worrying about reaching orgasm. if you think about it, it may very well make you not able to. just focus on the feelings and feel them start to intensify. also, masturbation is a good way to find out what feels good and since you are pleasing yourself, there is no pressure. once you know what it feels like and how to make it happen, help your man do it, and it will gradually become easier.

Answer by Kristina
Have him use a small vibrator.

Answer by sm713
vibrating ring for your bf’s friction toy, cvs or wallgreens

Answer by b_mb3100
3 or 4 in 5 years….. You might need to dig a lil deeper in the freaky box to get off. Have u tried trying to get yourself off without him around? Do you orgasm when he isn’t there? Have you gone into a freaky box because there is a lot of stuff out there. Jst keep trying, becasue honey, u need to get that ratio up:)

Answer by The Great Gatspy
You might be fairly insensitive, so I recommend using supplementary products… Personally, I recommend KY Jelly, but that’s mainly a matter of preference. Also, masturbating for a little bit before actually having sex can help a great deal to get you that much closer to having an orgasm.

Answer by Phillip
You seem to be forgetting one fundamental fact. YOU ARE A WOMAN! Trying different methods are for men. A woman’s sexual pleasure is directly linked to her current emotional state. If you man is the romantic type and he can press your buttons then you need to stop thinking so much. Enjoy the one-ness, lose yourself in the moment. It takes practice, but sometimes people become so obsessed with the physical aspects of sex they forget it is also a mental and spiritual thing. Don’t worry about climaxing, lose yourself in his arms as he loses himself in you. Stop thinking so much. I promise it will work if you do as I say.

Answer by Radiohead***
i dono just tell him to finger you until a while then he can do his thing and by the time hes done cause he will start after you then you will reach orgasm with him and he just has to do a little more work before he starts himself off , like he could eat you out or something for a bit then he can stick it in and do whatever and you two will orgy at the same time roughly have fun.

Answer by KeyaF
Women hardly ever get orgasms but. If you are on top and you kind of lean back a little bit that usually stimulates the clit. But just focus more on him and not your performance just be relaxed.

Answer by dick
try to stop doing sex for a while say a week or more and dont focus your thinking of having orgasm , focusing so much can be a problem itself

Answer by Pandamonium9
well from what I’ve heard and learned through out the years aphrodisiac foods seem to help out a lot. I’ll show you a link to see for yourself. Just go through it and see how it all works out. Hopefully it helps 🙂 trust me it should work.

Answer by griftercash69
Well I have to admit that women have a hard time sometimes to reach orgasms and there could be so much reasons. First stress, if you are stressed out, it could be a factor and it is usually a major one. Any problems or issues that could run through your mind could be a factor too. It seems funny but most sexual problems like that are cause 95% of the time by either stress, problems or issues unresolved.

Another thing, if you don’t know how you like to be touched, even if he can last hours it wont help you reach one. Experiment on your own as well as with him, maybe you need more stimulation, maybe the mood needs to be different, maybe you need a better preparation. Maybe you need him to take you differently, maybe a role playing game in bed. Maybe he has to have a different attitude while making love to you, something that would excite you more. Maybe you like to take control, also controlling the whole thing should make you realize what you like by feeling it. Maybe it needs to be more rough, pretending to “rape” you almost or dirtier or kinkier. Maybe you like more to be surprised and shocked by spontaneity.

As you can see there are a lot of ways possible you just have to figure it out but don’t stress about it and have fun, tease each other, play that nice game of seduction and let yourself go.

Good luck with that!

Answer by Ron Brgundy
Wow.. simply wow.. i feel bad for you.. I’ve made my gf go that many times and more in one session many times. The truth is you probably aren’t in tune with yourself enough that the poor bastard can do much. You should know what makes you go. If you don’t know, you need to explore yourself mind and body wise maybe even spiritually enough that you know. Every woman is different which is one reason a guys job can be so hard. You have been together 5 years so I will assume you are old enough to have this discussion. There are many types of women but I have encountered two distinct types. The first wants a lot of foreplay stuff like running your hand across her body and a lot of kissing and hicci style action all over her. You might be this type because this type usually only wants to go once or a couple of times and they like very “normal” positions such as the one on top of the other sandwich style. This style is more common with people who started as friends or are very lovey dovey or maybe high school sweethearts. The other type tends to be a freak or whatever word you want to use. I don’t see it that way I mean if you love each other hey its like Billy Crystal said in that one movie if he wants you to call him your bucking bronco then do it lifes too short. But anyway the second type tends to want her hair pulled, she likes it doggy or guy on top legs split up beside her head practically, dirty talk, fast movement, stimulation with the hands while the guy is working the normal action – I call this multitasking and I don’t think many guys are good at it. Again though I really don’t think you are in tune with your body at all. Like right now if you did your own thing making love with yourself could you go in 5 minutes or less? If not you are so not in tune with yourself. There is a sex scene in the movie Basic Instinct where Sharon Stone is on top. If you really want to have good sex I recommend learning that move to the point where you can go just by yourself doing that move and your bf not doing much. Then figure out what move your boyfriend can do even if its a lot of work and you reward him by doing the sharon stone move at the end of a long session. Oh also your boyfriend is going to need pointers so I will dedicate this section to him. First your job. You should be able to go in under half an hour. You should give your boyfriend verbal cues such as “right there” or “don’t stop” as you approach.. Your boyfriend should think of something that turns him off if he is going before you go. I like to think of Rosie Odonnell but everyone has their thing. When he does this he needs to slow down a little bit then multitask which again means using his hands and occasionally his mouth to caress and touch the appropriate places. Some men are lazy in bed. Your boyfriend should be covered in sweat when you are done. The session should last longer than an hour but less than 2 hours although I have had longer than 2 rarely. Your boyfriend should not have to do all the work. You should know how to back up on it I know it sounds like a rap move but its a real thing that advanced couples do during doggy just be careful not to break his you know what and again you should towards the end of the session do a top ride ala sharon stone. If I had to take a guess you are both not doing your share of the work. You’re probably mainly just laying there and he’s probably not covered in sweat at the end of the session and not using the mind tricks to last longer for lack of a better phrase. Also you need to dress hot me personally the hottest thing a girl can do is keep her socks and skirt on during the session this is a gigantic turn on. Good luck hope this helps.

Answer by Jed Hands
An orgasm for a women is very much a mental thing, not a physical one. You can try multiple positions and variations, but if he is not turning you on mentally and well as physically, it is not going to happen.

Having said that, here is one physical method you an use. Please make sure that your boyfriend is caring enough about you to try this and make you feel comfortable.

1. Lie on your back with your knees bent. Relax.

2. Get your boyfriend to kneel between your legs. Have him start with a massage of your inner things and public area. This should last for 5-10 minutes. This step is very important in helping you relax and get turned on (you may wish to play with your clitoris for some of this time to become aroused).

3. Have him lubricate his middle finger and insert it into your vagina. His palm should be face up. Instruct him to move his finger deeper than the G-Spot (if he doesn’t know where this is then you seriously need to get him to do his homework). About 3 inches in, he will feel the vagina begin to curve upwards at a right angle. Have him curl the tip of his finger into this area, and gradually begin rubbing this spot, lightly at first.

The area is know as the anterior fornix and is highly sensitive. It is sometimes referred to as the Deep Spot or A-Spot.

4. As you become more aroused by playing with your clit, have him increase the pressure on this spot. He should be the continuously curling and uncurling his middle finger at a rate of about 1 tap per second. His finger will begin to cramp and he will want to stop. Don’t let him! If he continues to do this you WILL come. And most likely it will be the most intense orgasm of your life.

Remember though, this technique will not work if you are not compatible mentally. For a guy to be good in bed he needs to be UN-SELFISH. He should relish every opportunity to make you orgasm.

If he is only interested in getting himself off, then you should look for a new boyfriend. One who is going to give you incredible multiple orgasms as often as you want.

Answer by Counsellor Oneil
This is very interesting question. Woman orgasm is an art and it must be learned. I suggest firstly you try working with vibrator on your clit and see if you are able to get proper orgasm. Then rather than trying all positions , just try woman on top with proper friction of your clit with erected penis. This should work. If it does not work , allow his penis to lie on his tummy and then rub your clit vigorously. This works in most of the cases. While doing this ensure that you are totally relaxed physically and emotionally. Having got success in this position see if you can get success in missionary style and Doggy style.