Giovanna: What causes sexual desire to drop in a marriage?
1. What are the causes of sexual desire in a marriage?
2. How long into the marriage does the sex life start to suffer?
3. Is it possible to stay hot to your spouse after 20 years of marriage? Is it common?
4. How much does resentment play a role in diminishing sex life with your spouse?
5. Describe the things that keep you from wanting sex from your spouse?
Answers and Views:
Answer by Why this happens
Don’t do too much sex always respect him
have good conversation
The fact that the man is cheating and should be because women should be used as sexual objects its nature and accept it pleaseAnswer by Doug J I
Marriage and an exciting sex life are incompatible after about two years.Answer by Honey Pie ♥
Some people simply have higher libidos than others. A lot of people get married and then realize that their sex drives are not compatible.
My parents have been together for 30 years… they still have a solid marriage (don’t ask how I know this lol).Answer by 0123
When you’re married for a long time, boredom starts to kick in. You get tire of having the same dick or pussy for the last 20 years. Your sexual desire for your wife or husband starts to go downhill. You crave for someone new and exciting. The new lover gives you energy and vitality. Your sexual desires start to climb back up with your new lover.
Marriage is not design to keep someone together for 20 or more years. People get bored with the same spouse.Answer by Ally Baba
Nobody knows there role anymore. Men aren’t men and women aren’t women.What were naturally supposed to do for each other is all mishmash and no one can get a grip on it anymore.There for the unity of a man and a women seems to fall to pieces and it usually begins with sex.Answer by springflower
Boredom is a big problem. Same thing over and over and over again.
Yes you can still have great sex after years and years.
Some partners treat each other like crap out of the bedroom but then
expect you to be all hot for them when you get in bed. It doesn’t work
like that. Some people are also just well mated when it comes to sex
while others are not.Answer by fortunegirl
1. Humans are wired to have sexual desire to procreate and continue the species.
2. Studies show that the novelty of being in love wears off after 2-3 years. That passionate phase settles into more of a companion bond that can last for many many years keeping couples together.
3. It’s not common to stay “hot.” Studies show that the initial “hot” /passion phase ebbs after 2-3 years and that passion turns into more of a companionship love/bond if the relationship lasts. Researchers say the brain chemicals involved with love have to do with mating, bonding, and staying together to take care of babies. Sometimes one or both partners sex drive diminishes (ie for men low testosterone or for women hormonal changes and/or fatigue from the daily grind of life etc.) and then their sex life is affected. It can cause serious problems if one partner wants it and the other has lost interest due to any number of reasons.
4. It is very common for the spouse who wants sex to feel rejected, abandoned, lonely, and neglected if their partner is no longer interested. It can be very painful for the person who wants more sex if their partner refuses.
5. Not me personally….but I can think of a number of things that could come up in relationships. Loss of physical attraction, fatigue from job, kids and stress etc, hormonal problems, pregnancy, nursing, childbirth, male low testosterone, health problems, conflicting work schedules, etc.Answer by Paul
One word “Marriage”Answer by 1selkie
Life causes sexual desire to drop in a marriage. Kids, jobs, stress, arguments, finances, illness…they all take their toll. It’s not really how many years you’ve been married, or how bored you might be, that makes your sex life suffer; it’s all the outside stuff. Like most things in a long-term relationship, it goes in cycles. Sometimes, like after the birth of a baby, your desire drops, but once things have stabilized, it comes roaring back. I think it is possible to stay hot to your spouse after 20 years of marriage; we’ve been together 23 years, and my husband still thinks I’m hot. That may be why I’ve stayed married to him so long; he makes me feel attractive 😛
Resentment plays a huge role in a diminishing sex life; who wants to sleep with someone they don’t like and they don’t feel is respecting them? I don’t want to sleep with my spouse if I’m angry with him.Answer by *the sarcastic*
1. physical features of the spouse and manorisms
2. depends on the people and what happens ie; working alot, kids, sickness, ettc…
3. very possible the commonality maybe more frequent than u think – tv perpetuates that its uncommon but thats just hype
4. resentment can play a major part in diminishing sex lives when u hold a grudge u dont want the person near u
5. nothing really keeps me from wantin sex – us guys can seperate our emotions from our sex driveAnswer by Abel V
1) Sexuality is part of every human being. We want to be touched and have sex, in the way that we want it. Accept what your desires are, and understand that they come from deep inside you. If what you are asking is what creates sexual desire between two people (who happen to be married), overall happiness with your life and a history of taking each other’s sexual pleasure seriously are the two biggest factors that contribute to desire.
2) Before a couple has a serious discussion about what they both want out of their sex life, it suffers. This could be BEFORE the marriage ceremony itself. It is harder for sexual desire to disappear if both people stay in touch with what they really want.
3) Yes, it is possible. It is hard to say if it is common, because it depends on your definition of what is “hot”. Sex drive diminishes slowly over time for most people, married or not. The frequency of sex usually goes down over time, but there are some happy marriages (usually between older people) where there is a lot of touching and physical intimacy without sex.
4 & 5) Resentment can poison any relationship, and it comes from not opening up, and not communicating (see #2), assuming your spouse already knows what you want, or believing that your sexual needs are not important. Your spouse might know you well, but they can’t read your mind. Don’t listen to anyone who says your libido can be “prayed away”, that G*d wants you to deny yourself, or that sex is not important, or that if you had “real” love, or if you were an “adult” and “grown up”, you would resolve and be able to live without what you want. If you have a life partner, one of their jobs is to work to make you happy. Unfortunately, sexual incompatibility does exist, and sometimes two people just cannot satisfy each other. That is grounds for changing or ending a relationship. What you want from sex comes from inside your self, and it can NOT be bargained with or denied. During sex, you want to say the things you want to say, you want to be f**ked the way you want to be f**ked, and if you don’t get that, you will be unhappy.
You have the right to pursue sexual fulfillment, However, you do not have the right to stop exercising good judgment. That means you examine with your spouse what compromises you can reach, and figure out what you must have, what you can live without, understand your responsibilities, keep your commitments, and not make commitments you can’t keep. Trying to live without the sexual partnership you really need is a recipe for resentment, lifelong misery, and heartache,
Growing up means facing who you are, bravely and with honesty.
Leave a Reply