How and when to decline a selling party invitation?

Craig R: How and when to decline a selling party invitation?
My wife is frequently invited to “selling parties” where the hostess is sponsoring a company that comes in to sell stuff to those in attendance. The hostess receives credit for the sales and is able to buy stuff herself at a discount or free.

Should these be viewed as a business transaction in which one is free to simply decline if they are not interested in the merchandise being sold? Or is it a social event hosted by a friend in which the invitation should be accepted out of courtesy even if she has no interest in the product being sold?

She doesn’t sponsor these things herself, so there’s no issue of hypocrisy here (declining others’ invitations then expecting them to come to hers) but doesn’t want to hurt the feelings of her friends who hold these parties.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Jeff H
You don’t need to be polite, just say no! It isn’t a real party or legitimate social occasion…

Answer by tamarack58
That’s exactly why these things are held. They get people into these “sales events” because the company knows that friends will feel guilty about not attending or feel real guilty about not buying.

Just respectfully decline. No harm because the person giving them knows it’s not really a social event it’s a sales event.

Answer by NY PTK
This business only… If she wants to support her friend (as a warm body in the room), she should say upfront that she is there for that exclusive purpose and not at all to purchase. You would be surprised how quickly many of these “friends” will no longer invite her. So again… it’s just business in the end.

Answer by sheloves_dablues
It’s both a social event and a business transaction. Your wife can politely decline the invitation if she isn’t interested in the product and doesn’t want to sit through the “demonstration” and not purchase.

These are “friendly” parties – there should never be an obligation to attend, or purchase. But they can be fun – a night out, meeting new people… It’s up to her to decide..

Answer by reynwater
She can just say:

She isn’t interested in purple widgets.

She has an other obligation and can’t attend.

She’s alergic to purple widgets.

Thanks, but no thanks.

I don’t care for those “sell stuff” parties either!

Answer by Patricia S
Those things are so annoying! Much as they try to turn them into social affairs, let’s face it, someone is selling a product. I consider that business.
I’ve learned to just say no, even to family members. “Sorry, I’m not interested.”

Answer by stella
HEY yep these parties are business transactions BUT just because she goes doesnt mean she has to buy anything … i personally dont like purchasing things this way as once the commission is added the product ends up being much more expensive than if you got it at the shops. There is nothing wrong with going and making a social night out of it, chatting to the gals, eating the nibbelies and drinking whatever is on offer! AND if she does host these parties tell her to accept the free stuff but only puchase something if she really really wants it and she thinks life would be much better having it 🙂 thats my motto and im a scrooge hehe …. but having people invite you or hosting one every weekend can get a bit much so tell her to say no if she doesnt feel like yet another party! dont worry her friends should understand a gal can only hear about tupperware so many times before it gets boring!

Answer by red
Absolutely decline. I did one of these parties and that was enough for me! A quick phone call explaining you don’t do these parties, or a note thanking the hostess for thinking of you, but go on to explain that you don’t buy through parties and would appreciate it if you were taken off the invitation list.

Answer by Pacifica
It is exactly what you said ‘selling’.

Its not much different that being approached by sales person in a store, invited in to munch a few sandwiches, eat some dip, then feel pressured into buying something you don’t want/need.

I suggest that she not feel that she is hurting anyone’s feelings. They will pressure her to come. They have been trained to know what to say (oh, it will be fun, you don’t have to buy anything) – the product they are selling is owned by a manufacturer who makes money from their sales. If she goes, eats the food, she will feel as though she must buy something after all this is her ‘friend’.

Friends don’t pressure friends to spend hard earned money.

A simple ‘no thanks’ may not be sufficient. How about ‘I don’t like those sort of ‘parties’. Its the plain truth.

Answer by K for Him
Just tell them ‘if you are having Cookie Lee (for example) then let me know’ & ‘Tupperware is not my thing.’

Answer by Lprod
I strongly dislike these meetings/parties because they do make you feel awkward about not buying anything, yet if I’m not interested in the product, why should I waste my money just to please my “friends”??? I try to avoid them as much as possible…. I’ve attended a few but sometimes I just tell my friends that I had a previous committment or that I really can’t attend, maybe next time…… and it’s true, they eventually stop inviting you to those things…. thank goodness!!!

Answer by ndn_ronhoward
I would simply say that you have something else going on that night and if you don’t want to be caught in a lie then make an occasion for yourself…Take your wife out to dinner or to a movie, or an overnight getaway. For me, I hate those situations because I always feel obligated to buy something. They’re whole purpose is to get you buy something. Your hostess may be a friend, but the salesperson probably doesn’t really care about you one way or another unless you buy something.
If it were me, I would decline nicely and say you have other plans.
Good luck!

Answer by emgeealex
Don’t go.

Answer by berry
If your wife is getting too many of these invitations and is sick of them, she can and should tell the hostess/friend that she has no interest in the product and won’t be attending. Better to tell her the truth and not go instead of attending, wasting everyone’s time and money because the hostess need to cater some food for the such parties and she ends up not buying anything. If she declines, at least the host can find someone else who would be interested and who might make a purchase.

Answer by kill_yr_television
Since these are friends, not merely strangers or business associates you can’t go with “purely business” manners. However these parties are definitely business, not social, events. You decline by saying “no thank you.” If a lady’s feelings get hurt when people decline to hear her sales presentation — well, such a frail flower has no place in the world of sales and marketing.

I pressed as to why she can’t attend, your wife should be mysterious. “It’s just impossible” and “I’ll call you if I change my mind.”

Answer by maxmom
My sympathies to your wife.

I am in exactly the same boat. I just decline, saying I have other plans.

There is no obligation to buy, but most people do end up buying something.

Now, my neighbors have started giving them!

Answer by things will get better
I can be too nice sometimes to turn these invitations down. However, I usually just show up and then purposely not bring cash or my credit cards so that I have an excuse not to buy. Or I just politely tell the salespeople I am not interested in buying anything simply there to see the demonstration.

Answer by Rainey
I consider them a social event. If I dont want to go, I decline. However, I’m not above eating people’s free food, having a good time and not buying anything.