a_wafford: What to do when the father of your child is threating you to take you to court for custody?
My sons father is trying to take me to court to get custody of our 11 month old little boy. He has never Been there for him hasn’t helped me out with him. He has only seen him 2 times since he was born, he don’t call to check on him or ask to get him. Im wondering what i should do. If i should file for custody or since im the mother do i automatically have custody im just not sure how it works.
Answers and Views:
Answer by carol p
He has to prove he is a fit father and since he hasn’t been there hardly at all, he really doesn’t have a chance. You’ll be fine, he’s just trying to scare you and make you feel terrible but you have nothing to worry about as your the one that has been there for the baby. He’ll just end up making things look bad for himself. When your a good mother as you are there’s nothing to worry about.
He can try, but unless he somehow proves you to be an unfit mother, he doesn’t stand much chance.
However, you really should file for custody. Don’t wait until it’s too late to do so.
at this moment, if custody isn’t legally set, he could take the child and refuse to hand him back to you… sad, but true.
Answer by AVMy ex tried this bullshit with me. He called me up one day when the baby was 4 months old, saying he wanted to bring him to his town. I told him no, because of many reasons, mainly I don’t trust him with the baby’s safety. He then actually tells me, “We can do this the easy way or the hard way.” The next day I called up my local family court. I can’t remember who I actually spoke to, but when I told the woman what he said. Not even joking her response was, “Oh I don’t think so, yeah fine we will do this the hard way.”
I then went to family court, and filed for custody. In SoCal you don’t need your own lawyer, they have people there to help. But one thing that she did that I didn’t know, she said it was a hearing to establish paternity. That was because we weren’t married. I already had that paternity paper that was filed in the hospital. I had to go to court twice and he didn’t show up to either hearing. But since I had that paper, I got full custody.
So find out where your local family court is. Call up the info line to find out what day/time they are open to start your case rolling. Set a day aside and get there early to file the claim. You have to serve the father the papers. If you have a friend that can do it, that is the best way, if not you can go to a company that does that service. You have to pay a fee, after they serve him the papers, you get this document from them that serves as proof. Make sure you have all papers from the hospital. Look through them and see if you have that paternity paper because you will need it.
If he doesn’t show up, you automatically get full custody. If he does, you just tell the judge what you said here. The judge may award him visitation rights and I think that would be it. Good luck.
Answer by hi!*!1st let me ask, has paternity already been established? Such as through a birth certificate or blood test. Were you guys ever married? If not, then the first thing is to establish paternity, which a judge will subpeona him to do if he refuses to do it voluntarily. Then your next step is to quickly initiate the custody proceedings. YOU TAKE THIS FIRST STEP, DON’T GIVE HIM THE CHANCE.
If paternity has already been established then all you have to do is take this matter to the family courts of your respective state. You should be given some kind of guidence as to what the procedures are for going before the court for a custody hearing. A lawyer may be a good idea. I know they can be expensive but in the long run it could be the very best investment you make.
Do not assume you “automatically” have custody, especially if there is not already a court ordered child support decree in your possession. I will also suggest that if you file for custody and present supporting evidence as to why the father should not retain custody of the child, by the way it looks like you have a lot, then that will put the father in a position where he will have to explain to the judge as to why he has not been there thus far and why he wants to be around now. And make sure that you document any dealings with him regarding your child or anything that he has done that you view will help your case, if you have begun this already.
Remember,
1. Establish paternity first(if not already)
2. Document EVERYTHING(this will make you look like you are serious about retaining custody, show the court you are organized and mean business, and that you are a responsible adult, especially when circumstates warrant you needing to be, such as being a parent hint, hint)
3. You initiate custody hearing first, don’t give him the chance!
Best of luck to you!
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