missd1975: Guys–please explain, “I’m not falling in love with you”…see details?
I’m in my late 20’s, and just got out of a 3 month relationship with someone a few years younger than me. Everything was going well. I rarely initiated contact. He would call me or want to see me almost everyday, which sometimes was too much for me.
Last weekend he broke things off, saying he has tons of fun with me but just wasn’t “falling in love.” Of course he wants to stay friends (they always do), but said this is for the best. We’ve e-mailed a couple times since but I am distancing myself more.
This same thing happened to me about a year ago. In that situation, the guy never wanted children & I do someday so that made sense. With this recent one, I really would never have guessed the breakup was coming based on his behavior.
Can you really determine if you are “falling in love” in 3 months’ time? Why would you want to see someone you weren’t falling in love with nearly every day?
**Serious answers only. Insults will be reported for abuse**
**Serious answers only. Insults will be reported for abuse**
Actually I think this only shows that I do my reading here on Yahoo answers. I wouldn’t be surprised if I got an answer that was, “You’re probably ugly” or some such. People get very stupid & nasty here.
Answers and Views:
Answer by harmony
baby girl, sounds like he found someone new. that’s all. and the part of hanging out with someone who’s he not in love with is just normal. you just need to put it in your past and move on.
**Serious answers only. Insults will be reported for abuse**….that line alone shows me you have a bad attitude. Good luck.Answer by Big Daddy Sarge
Some people can be “falling in love” in 3 months’ time. Why would he want to see someone he weren’t falling in love with nearly every day? Some take longer. Some keep falling for a life time aka marriage. Sounds to me he was too young and impatient. He can also be narcisistic in the clinical sense.
You’re young and have a lifetime to look forward to. This dude sounds like he wasn’t ready. Have you ever thought about going out with some one a little older than you? At least that limits the possibility of this kind of BS … but then again …
Answer by tg315Well, I can only guess, but, maybe he is really looking for someone he wants to marry. Could someone figure that out in 3 months time? Absolutely !. Most people, including yourself can figure that out in like 3 minutes. He might also be a tad bit insecure, which might be why he was hangin’ around all the time. Could be a lot of things…maybe even that he met someone else. The reality is, sometimes, we guys don’t really know what we want. If i had more details, I could make a better guess. Hope this helps.Answer by SuperJenn
I hope you can stand an answer from a woman. When I read this, my heart went out to you. Believe me, I understand. It’s good you recognize the first relationship where the guy didn’t want kids had to end. That was a very healthy decision and you shouldn’t look back on that with regret.
As for this last guy, I think he’s just too immature to deal with his feelings. A guy I dated before I met my boyfriend did the same thing to me. Of course, I wasn’t ready to declare my love for him at that point or anything either and then months later, the jerk tried emailing me. Ugh. Anyway, the reason I say this guy is immature about his feelings is because 3 months is a really short amount of time to determine if you love someone. In fact, I’m always wary of when people say it too soon. It makes me think they are just in love with the idea of being in love. My boyfriend and I didn’t say those 3 little words until we were together almost a year, but I can tell you, we’re both very sure of how much we love one another. I’m sorry you’re in this situation and I think this has much more to do with the guy you were involved with than you. I don’t think you can determine if it’s love in just 3 months time and I don’t think you’d want to waste your time seeing someone each day that you didn’t think you could invest in a future with. I hope that helps, even if I made you feel a little less alone out there in the world. I’ve been there before and it’s not fun, but if this guy is too much of a tool to see what a bright, self-assured woman he has, then you are much better off without him. Good luck to you.
Answer by ricshaw4uWell my first observation is that, I dont really think you want a relationship or just dont know how to handle one,,something in your past is scaring you from the happiness you sooo desire,,you said, “I rarely initiated contact. He would call me or want to see me almost everyday, which sometimes was too much for me” those statements to me are BIG red flags..If I were pursuein a real relationship, I would want to spend as much time with the other person as possible so as to find out what they are rally like in all situations and if they like who I really am and if I like who they really are,,,not an insult, but you sound like you dont really have a clue as to what you want or why,,,first off,start being honest with yourself,,find out what you really want,,and YES,I believe that I can determine if I am “falling in love” in 3 months time,,I dont let time tell me when I am falling in love, I let my heart tell me so time doesnt even enter into it for me,,but then I am very romantic and want a fulfilling relationship and I will and do put forth all my effort to make it work if I really and truely believe ,, I wish you the best in findin yourself,, Rick
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