How do i decline a baby shower invite from a co-worker?

Ivy: How do i decline a baby shower invite from a co-worker?
I work at a small company. One of my co-workers is expecting and her friend/co-worker is planning it while another co-worker is hosting. There are only 10 women at my company and all of them have been invited to the shower. I am friendly with most of these women, but the expectant mother is bossy and we’ve never had a friendly chat in the 2 years we’ve worked together. I’m 23 but all these other women are 30ish and unbelieveably excited about babies/baby showers . I was asked directly by the woman planning the shower in front of my other co-workers which weekend day i was free in the upcomming months. I was so surprised by the confrontation and assumption that i was attending, i told her that saturdays are fine. There are no paper invitations, just blanket emails with shower details (gift registry) so i haven’t actually been “asked” if i’m comming. Also, i’m afraid if i decline by saying i’m not free (it’s a month away) they’ll ask for a better time and then run it by everyone.

Answers and Views:

Answer by justanotherjoe
Just say no thank you and move on.

Answer by Ashley
Wait, first… wait until it’s a week before and then say that your nephew’s class play is at the same time, so you won’t be able to make it, but congratulations on the baby and you hope they all have fun!

Answer by HmMm
“Sorry, I’m going to be unable to make it. Thanks for the invite.”

Answer by casey_leftwich
Send an email saying you’re sorry but you realized you have an important event to attend that day and during that time and that you will not be able to attend her shower. buy a gift from the registry, though….some cheap. She’ll think nothing of it. don’t worry.

Answer by thatonefriend1
make and excuse last minute so they have no time to change the date and time like say someone got sick or someone was in a car accident and was in the hospital or you had to go out of town to see family that isnt doing to well its simple how to get out of it lie
if you dont like to lie
just tell them the truth

Answer by skcs11
say no thanks

Answer by linda h
Don’t lie. It will only catch up with you. Wait until it is closer then say “I won’t be able to make it” No excuse needed.

You should give a gift though, since it is a small company, if you don’t it probably wont be forgotten.

Also this may be a way of the other ladies to included you in their friendship. Hope you aren’t always in such a hurry to duck them.

Answer by eightieschick70
wow, I really think youve been put on the spot. the way they handled thes invites is rather inaproriate. Its like they want to make sure that you attend or at least get a gift. you might just have to be honest and say that the mother to be isnt really friendly towards you, either that or go, hey its a free meal, and you are friends with the outher women there.
Im sorry, I cant think of a way out, it kind of sounds like they have you backed into a corner.

Answer by ann t
Do not say anything right now, wait until probably the midweek before the shower and then indicate (with all the sincerity you can muster) that you are unable to attend due to a sudden family commitment but give them your blessings to carry on without you. You may even buy a small gift for the baby, if you like.

Answer by Angela C
bite the bullet and go, it is only a couple hours of your time and perhaps this will make things more friendly between you and your co-worker.

Answer by riversconfluence
Well, it’s your choice, to accept, and hope that will make things better with the bossy one, or say no, thanks.
If it were me, I would wait a bit, say I can’t be there, something has come up, and no, you do not have to make an excuse. And send a small but cute gift with someone.
It isn’t nice to ambush someone into doing anything, it’s rude. But I’m sure that wasn’t their intent, probably they were trying hard not to exclude anyone. Or maybe just trying to keep things informal. With only ten women around, hard feelings would be tough to deal with.
It might go better if after you say no, you would show a little interest. Say, I’m so sorry I couldn’t, where is she doing her shopping? Or, what is the nursery theme? But you do not have to, you can get whatever present you want.
Hope this helps.