what do the bride and groom do during a catholic wedding?

My Harley: what do the bride and groom do during a catholic wedding?
I am getting married in a catholic church, I have never been to a catholic wedding before and I know that the catholic mass is about an hour long and you do alot of sitting, standing, and kneeling…was wondering if it goes the same way for a catholic mass and if so what do the bride and groom do? do they stand the whole time or sit? do they have to kneel? just wondering how it works.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Peanut88
I’m Catholic and I’ve never been to a wedding that is an hour long. Usually they run about a half hour or less, depending on what you include. I suppose a traditional Roman Catholic mass can run upwards of an hour. Most couples have chairs to the side of the alter and sit when the rest of the congregation sits (i.e. during readings, some prayers, etc). Meet with your priest prior to the wedding and they will walk you through it; the rehearsal is also on opportunity to discuss and practice these things. Some things you may be doing:

-two readings
-prayers
-signing the wedding license (bride, groom, maid of honor, best man)
-saying vows

Answer by Jude
I have trouble with the concept that the Catholic church is going to allow a non-Catholic to participate in a Catholic wedding ceremony without a class, so the priest should be signing you up for a class at some point. The Catholic church is strict on who can participate in a Catholic ceremony. I know Catholics who had to take classes in order to be married in the church because they were not confirmed. Non-Catholics can get married in the church, but even then they are required to take a few lessons from the priest.

A loose version of the ceremony consists of the bride going up the aisle and meeting the groom, the priest says some things in greeting a prayer and gives a sermon on marriage, the bridal party usually has chairs at the alter to sit on during the ceremony. You will be asked to stand for reading of the scripture to honor the words of Christ, and to kneel when the tabernacle is opened, to show humility in the presence of God. You will be excluded from receiving communion because you are not Catholic, (Catholics are supposed to follow certain steps in order to receive communion themselves). It is tradition for the bride to honor the Mother of Christ and lay flowers in front of her statue, then there are the usual vows, the introduction of the married couple and then you head off to the reception.

Answer by Christene C
Well I was born and raised a Catholic and depending on the church itself either its a traditional and more ceremonial or a more relaxed church that will depend on the church. I was married to a non catholic at the time and we both had to attend a sort of “marriage counseling” we did it crunch time in under 3 months but generally they like 6 months prior to the wedding for this. There is usually 2 readings and songs and then one by the priest if you are having a traditional ceremony. A shorten version may be just your vows and the like there is sitting and standing and kneeling depending again on what your having. The priest will go over it all with you and help you both decide what is best for what you want. The Catholic church has become lax in areas about a Non Catholic marring a Catholic and there generally wont be a problem. Just make an apt and talk it over with him. But overall enjoy its a wonderful day and im sure what you decide will be whats best for you and your families. Make sure to tell your family that is non catholic to be comfortable and to go with the flow its not like we have you riding a donkey down the isle ( well at least not on the first time) lol.. Good luck and enjoy

Answer by JNS
The US Conference of Catholic Bishops allow for two forms of marriage in the Catholic Church: first is a Nuptial Mass (exactly the Mass you already attend with an exchange of vows in the middle) and a Rite of Marriage (Introduction + Old Testament reading + Psalm + New Testament Reading + Gospel Reading + Homily + General Intercession + Exchange of Vows + Blessing). A Nuptial Mass takes 1-1.5 hours, a Rite of Marriage takes 20-30 minutes.

The bride and groom do nothing special other than the exchange of vows (stand and “repeat after me….”)

During a Rite of Marriage, there is no kneeling by anyone. You stand to enter, sit, then stand for gospel, everyone sits while the couple stands to exchange vows, then everyone stands for the blessing/recessional.

During a Nuptial Mass, you do everything you normally do during mass (stand, then sit, then stand, then sit, then stand, then kneel, then stand, then kneel, then stand, then take communion, then kneel, then sit, then stand).

You can choose either a Nuptial Mass or a Rite (unless one person is unbaptized, in which case you must use the Rite). Usually Nuptial Mass is used for two Catholics marrying whereas the Rite is used for a Catholic and non-Catholic (otherwise it would be awkward when only one takes communion).

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“Well I was born and raised a Catholic and depending on the church itself either its a traditional and more ceremonial or a more relaxed church that will depend on the church.”

Not true. There are two Rites that are exactly the same for all churches in the United States. Canadian churches are a little different but almost identical.

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“have trouble with the concept that the Catholic church is going to allow a non-Catholic to participate in a Catholic wedding ceremony without a class, so the priest should be signing you up for a class at some point.”

The “classes” you take are pre-Cana (how to communicate, how to resolve problems, how to deal with in-laws, etc). There are no classes on Catholic rubrics and she wouldn’t know those until the rehearsal unless she asked.

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“It is tradition for the bride to honor the Mother of Christ and lay flowers in front of her statue, then there are the usual vows, the introduction of the married couple and then you head off to the reception.”

This is generally excluded when one person is not Catholic, though it can still be requested and done.

Answer by iloveweddings
Unless both of you are Catholic it is very unusual if you would have the full Mass. Usually, when only one person of the couple is Catholic, there is a shorter service (about 20 minutes or so.)

But, if you DO have a Catholic Mass, then yes, you will sit, stand and kneel (at a certain point).

If you do not have a Mass, then you will be sitting until it is the time for the vows. When it is time for your vows, you will go to the center aisle along with your maid of honor and best man.

Answer by Matt
Sounds like you are not really getting married in a Catholic Church. You must undergo preparation with the Priest and a lot of meetings and study before just ‘getting hitched’ in the Church because it is a beautiful setting.

If you are being married in a Catholic Church with no preparation – your Priest is really wrong and out of line. He should be reported to the Bishop of the diocese for not safeguarding the sacraments to those who respect and understand them.

Overall, ask any good Catholic Priest and you will get all the details on all the options and more importantly, why things are that way for certain people. If you are not Catholic – you will not have the exact same service as if both bride and groom were Catholic, etc.

Answer by jm1970
I’ve never been to a Catholic wedding under an hour long. If you go for the full Mass, it is the Mass with the wedding stuff thrown in…They usually have chairs for the Bride and Groom and the wedding party sits in the first few rows.