What can I say to my brother who is learning disabled when he asks why he is different?

Anna S: What can I say to my brother who is learning disabled when he asks why he is different?
My older brother is learning disabled and has some sort of unidentified mental illness. He has never had any friends or dated, and he is angry because he wants to find a girlfriend. He is having a hard time because me and my other siblings are growing up and getting married and he (the oldest) still has no one. What can I say to his constant questions of when can he have a girlfriend and why is he so different?

Answers and Views:

Answer by Fluffy Girl
You can tell him that just because he is different does not mean that there is something wrong with him. Remind him that if things are meant to be, they will happen. Try to point out all of the positive things in his life that exist even without a girlfriend.
Also, finding out what his mental illness is could be of great help so that he can seek treatment. Good luck, and you’re a good sister for caring.

Answer by nobody puts baby in a corner
That’s so sad. Reassure him that he is an amazing person and an amazing catch he is. And when he does( he will) find someone who loves him the ways he deserves, then she will be the luckiest person alive. If someone doesn’t want him because he has a handicap then he is better off without them. Don’t let him give up hope, there are tons of women who are open minded and will love him unconditionally. I just wanna say he’s lucky to have someone like you that is so concerned with his happiness. good luck.

Answer by Regina J
Tell him he isn’t different he is just special. It will just take him time to find someone who is special enough to be with.

Answer by ouragon
Everyone is different in their own special way. Why hasn’t his mi been diagnosed? I don’t see how it could be effectively treated if it’s undiagnosed. He can go to Mental Health, Mental Retardation if he has no insurance. Please help him get the help he needs so his life can be as good as possible.

My daughter is 18, so I understand exactly what he’s going through. She has low iq, bipolar disorder and some other nonspecific issues. She’s a mess. She’s definitely not growing up like everyone else. She can’t keep a bf because she’s so out of control emotionally.

You might look for a support group after you find out what your brother’s problem is. He might meet some friends/ girls there. Good luck.

Answer by Wijssegger
I’m not sure of what level of understanding he may or may not have, but you can try and explain to him that there is no set time for anyone to have friends or relationships. Regardless of disability or mental capacity, things happen in it’s own time. Try to assure him that we are all different and have our own talents and limitations. He is probably lonely and needs social interaction. I don’t know what the circumstances are but if he is not already involved, he should be in some kind of educational/group activity or therapy to at the very least provide him with a social outlet.

Answer by horseprincess59
you should go online to a dating site and search people with the same disabilty, thenn he could possibly find someone just like him, and he wouldnt feel so different, just tell him many people cant get girlfriends in real life, its not because their stupid its just because the girls dont want to hurt your feelings. your a nice sister for caring