What are some suggestions on “how to botch a job interview”?

Client_u: What are some suggestions on “how to botch a job interview”?
Someone set you up for a job interview. The job conflicts with your 18 hour sleep schedule and it would infringe on your Y/A P&S contributions.

You show up to be nice, but how do you BOTCH it?

POLL: Symmetrical >or< Asymmetrical?

Answers and Views:

Answer by Max
Light a cigarette….that’ll do it every time

Answer by Shinzy
Fart. A lot. Loudly.

Asymmetrical.

Answer by Please dont punch Kevin
i think wearing a little kid’s transformers shirt is a good start.

Answer by troyr
show up with a beer in your hand and insult the interviewer.

Answer by Bigger Beauty
piss yourself and make as many references as possible to you sodomizing the person interviewing you.

Answer by racysilver
Ha Ha, lovely. Ask if it’s ok to have a 2 hour lunch break as you usually like 4-6 pints of lager to keep the shakes at bay. Trouble is, you’ll prob get the job!!
Poll:Asym.

Answer by Chrisbo325: Go Phillies!!
wear a trash bag, dip my hair in a mud puddle, “forget” to brush my teeth after eating a big helping of garlic, and show up high as a kite, think that oughta do it!

Answer by 23skidoo
Go a bit drunk with alcohol on your breath,hair uncombed and in slept in clothes.

Answer by Thomas M
That’s easy. Just say: You don’t do drug test do you? And if their reply is yes, just say, awww mannn!!!

Answer by No Clue
Go in smelling like booze, lay down a really gassy fart or two, and then throw up in their wastebasket.
Poll: Symmetrical

Answer by But Inside I’m Screaming
Pull a Sharon Stone and show your Basic Instinct.

Wait…that might just get me the job……

Symmetrical.

Answer by ♥BBall Samurai♥
Wouldn’t bathe or brush my teeth (eat corn chips on top of that). Talk loudly or act narcoleptic. Scratch myself in weird places.

Symmetrical.

Answer by mac
Cough in their face and then tell them that not even the Swine Flu could keep you away from the interview.

Symmetrical

Answer by XXX Rated
There are so many ways to botch it that I can’t possibly list them all. You could show up in shorts and a T-shirt, you could come in with raggedy clothes on, you could show up twenty minutes late, or you could come in looking angry like you want to whoop someone’s assss. The list here could go on on.

Answer by Ent for Rent
Wear a Snuggie and argue with the voices in your head.

Answer by Smokey
Just walk in wearing a pink tutu and a ball gag that should do the trick.

Symmetrical I like the idea of 2 bewbies.

Answer by oh_jo123
you tell the guy/girl who is interviewing you that you are the better partner for their partner and you want them to be FIRED!

Answer by kerrihasunruleyhair
sneeze in your hand before you shake the interviewers

Answer by Sourpatch Shell
Eat a whole mess of something that will cause anal leakage followed with a lot of cups of coffee.

Asymmetrical
Note: Bring extra pants for the ride home.

Answer by krk
Start interview them !

Answer by LolaMesser
When they get to the question of why you are not at your most recent job anymore repeat the following..
Well, I was caught embezzling a rather large sum of money…but its ok because they made me pay it back…well some of it”

Answer by wasteofletters
Take a Viagra a good half hour in advance. Talk in a poorly feigned russian accent. Smell your fingers periodically. And don’t forget to not brush your teeth.