How does “tough love” make you feel?

: How does “tough love” make you feel?

how is it love if it’s not loving?

Answers and Views:

Answer by SAM
Week and Helpless.

Thats why its called Tough Love.

Answer by Diane S
Angry and mad but in the end it works out for the best.

Answer by Pheebz
tough love is heart breaking . and it is loving with brains – sweet love is only hearts’ work.

Answer by pearlysama
Love is not the feeling of always being happy or feeling pleasant. You will be SORELY disappointed in most of your relationships if you believe that love is supposed to feel good all the time. Real love is the feeling of wanting what is best for someone else. “Tough love” is when you stop sugarcoating because you want to make them “feel good” and you give them the cold, hard truth with the intention of them eventually bettering themselves. Its the intention behind it that makes it “tough love” and also what exactly the person is doing. If the person is trying to intentionally humiliate you, berate you, or in any way do harm to you, it is NOT “tough love”. If the behavior is abusive in nature and is more damaging than it is “truthful”, then it is NOT “tough love”. Sometimes, someone can assume they are dealing out tough love when in reality they’re being a donkey and do not know how to show you they care (my father does this a lot). That’s not tough love, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t doing it out of love. People sometimes learn how to love wrong. And yes, you do need to LEARN how to show love. It is not innate in humans.

In the end, tough love IS loving. Just because it isn’t pleasant doesn’t mean its not love. Just because it isn’t pleasant doesn’t mean its abusive or that the person is trying to intentionally hurt you. Like if a mother slaps her kid’s hand because the kid was about to touch fire. That’s not pleasant, but its love because the mother is protecting the kid against a valid danger through punishment (which is a valid behavior shaping technique).

However, the tough lovers in the world also need to realize the its possible to deal out tough love with tact. Sometimes people aren’t aware of that. But if they are more harsh than is necessary, it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t love you. Again, some people do not know how to show they honestly care. Or sometimes someone becomes SO at their wit’s end with you that they accidentally lash out more than they intended.

Answer by K
This is what the Bible says about love:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” – excerpts from 1 Corinthians 13:4-13

“Love does not rejoice in evil but rejoices in the truth.” That line stood out to me. Tough love is not always meant to make someone feel bad or inflict harm on them, but it can be used to wake someone up. To enlighten them with the truth. Take boot camp for example. Sure, it’s not easy and it doesn’t feel good, but it wakes people up to the reality of things. Sometimes people need a good reality check and an asss whooping in order to improve their lives.