Jill Tregre: How do you get your teenager motivated to help around the house?
I have tried everything, I think. I have two teenagers who only think they have to help if they get something out of it, i.e., money or a friend can sleep over – and even then it is a slipshod job, at best! I think I need a ‘Supernanny’ for teens to help motivate them. GRRRR!
Answers and Views:
Answer by Ay
Im 15 and i do almost everything around my house. I’m self motivated. i do things b/c i want to live in a clean house and i want to make my parents happy and proud.
take a whip and hit her everytime she do somethin rongAnswer by oddball
dont give them anything for helping. tell them they dont have to help but theyre only going to get the extras if they constantly help. only say this once and dont bug them about it any more. should workAnswer by Dean Jones
my parents usually threaten to take my phone off me, most teenagers can’t live without their phone, laptop/desktop computer, mp3 player, ipod, games console, or tv’s. So just tell them if they don’t help they’re losing some of the privelages?
If that doesn’t work, and they’re above 16, tell them if they don’t help you’ll have to start charging them rent?
Usually worksAnswer by ’til july..♫
you should give them something to do it.you can give them tickets for a movie,money,sweets,free to do whatever they want with their mobile and laptop,etc.
don’t be angry with them and don’t shout them..this will make them not to believe you again and stop talking you for personal things.you should be like friends..
believe me they are not going to do anything for free.free is dead..everything has its price!.Answer by untrue
Motivating my teens was like having to hang a carrot on a a stick in front of a horse to get him moving.
I’m embarrassed to admit that I had to resort to bribery to get anything done….You know, ‘When you finish…’, then you can go…Then, ‘When it’s done right’…I might let you go….LOL
Then you have to deal with the grumbling and sputtering, the slamming and banging throughout the house.
Good grief, now that the teens have grown, I have to resort to bribery with my husband. It never ends, I have to explain to a grown man that the stove has to be cleaned to the ‘shine’ not just to the ‘smear’.
What was that saying??? ‘A womans’ work is never done’???Answer by engage
You have to establish tasks that they are responsible for on a daily/weekly basis (whether they benefit or not). Make them clear the table/load dishwasher, vacuum, take out garbage whether there is a reward or not. When they complain and whine remind them that you do many things that just benefit them – drive them to and from places, and their laundry etc.
You should reward them every once in awhile. But, they shouldn’t be expecting it each and every time.
When they do a half-assed job, don’t let them get away with it. Don’t clean up after them. Call them down and get them to do it to your satisfaction. That teaches them to do it right the first time.
Remind them that you’re not required by law to give them allowance (if you do).Answer by reynolds
no television, video games, getting to hang out with friends, getting to go to school activities
if chores are not complete.
make a list of things even small things that need to be done every day – no matter what
if you keep a regular schedule and keep on their tails about not being able to do fun things including getting to eat fast food out with the parents, or getting to watch rental or movies at the theater
then they will know what is up.
do they get to eat school lunches?
well you will tell them that they are going to have to make their own lunches if they don’t help out around the house…..
If they don’t help you – you don’t help them.
be firm.Answer by Brandon Negrisor
I found that making work at home fun was essential. She and I both enjoy music so I would put on a CD and we would work on home projects for just as long as the CD played then we were done, even if there were things still remaining to be done. I would wait until the following week and start all over with the CD and we would begin again. To this very day if my daughter hears Breezin’ by George Benson, she will give me a big laugh and say somehow she feels like working around the house. She is now 28 years old and a new mom and I hope she continues this tradition. Relationships over everything in its place. I hope this helps. Good luck. By the way, it helps if they choose the CD.Answer by Felicia
Interesting that you mentioned Supernanny, because she has some great resources on her website, offering up advice specifically for this sort of thing! Check them out! (Obviously, adjust some for your older teens.)
Family Routine – Maybe the jobs are half-hearted because they’d rather be doing something else? If they know that every day, when they get home from school, one hour is spent doing homework…the routine will be established and difficult to break. The Involvement Technique – Adjust for older teens, but try doing chores WITH them. You may also want to check out Dave Ramsey. He’s an amazing financial counselor, and usually deals with adult issues, but also talks often about kids and money. He’s a strong advocate of instilling work ethic in our kids, and has experience as a father. He’s even published some kid’s books about money, but they’re going to be too young for your teens. Still worth a look though, for simple ideas.
I say, give them a conditional allowance. You’re the boss! So, set up an allowance chart. $ 2 to set the dinner table, $ 2 to clear the table, $ 2 to wash dishes – per night. If both do it, it’s split. If it’s a shoddy job, no pay. You’re fired from a real job if you don’t put effort into it, so they shouldn’t get paid if it’s a poor job. Only mom or dad can be the judge of whether the completed chore is deemed worth of pay. Keep some sort of tally chart on the fridge, allotting the worth of each chore. There can even be “bonus chores” like $ 10 for washing the car on Saturday, or $ 1 if their homework is completed before 8pm.
Also, they’re at the age where one night a week, it can be their responsibility to prepare a meal for the family. Lay out guidelines. For example, “There must be one vegetable, one meat, and one grain.” No pay for this one — it’s a necessary life skill!
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