Parents How do you punish your children and is it different from how you where punished as a child?

Pet lover: Parents How do you punish your children and is it different from how you where punished as a child?
This only counts for parents who do that.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Broberts
I was smacked as a child
I put my son in time out or take away his toys, I dont smack him.

Answer by Acai
I guess it’s different ot what my mother did, because she was kind of soft in that way.
I punish alot like my father, but more because he was always working!

I explain things to my daughter, about feelings and respect, and this appeals to her conscience. She wants to be respectful then. Respect is the bottom line for all behaviour. If I’m getting that, I’m happy.

My father had the same view, that’s where I get it, but my mother doesn’t really know what respect means. Her loss.

Answer by Brian_Jacobs
I was smacked – now I use the “naughty step” technique – works brilliantly.

Answer by news_junkie101
I LOVE YOU GRANDMA… I REALLY REALLY DO SO DON’T GET ANGRY…LOL…

Anytime I seemingly breathed wrong I got the wooden spoon across the rear… and when I DID actually do wrong… it usually broke the spoon… LOL!

As far as my children I do not spank at all unless it is Absolutely the only option which it never is… time outs… and writing lines… I like the writing lines thing because it directly relates what they did wrong to what they do for time out!

Answer by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom
I make my son go to his room , tell him what he did wrong &
ask him to think about it while he is in his room , then I tell him
that he can’t come out until he’s ready to behave correctly

if that does not work ( it usually does) then I start to take
away a privilege (for a week) and that always works

my son is 10 years old

all my Dad had to do was raise his voice & I knew I did something
wrong & should not do it again, as far as punishment they would
not let me see a friend so that was bad enough for me

Answer by EMA
I was hit as a child – although I do have to say it didn’t do me any harm…….

However, I now have a 8 yr old daughter – I would never dream of laying a finger on her. If she has done something wrong or whatever and I let her know I am disappointed with her or I am upset with her behaviour – she is more gutted by that herself – I would not need to smack her.

She is a really good kid so when she is a bit naughty and then she realises it she beats herself up emotionally – I love her to bits – I think I have a completely different parenting style to my own parents – my mum thinks I let her away with too much……

Answer by jcox
My parents had a lack of discipline. They had seven children and took care of another so there were always eight children in the house. They did not really punish us ever. I remember once when I was twelve I called my momma a bitch so she smacked me straight across the face then went in her room and cried. That is the only time I was ever spanked or anything. I used to get sent to my room where I could play my video game, listen to music, and watch television. Sometimes when I was sent to my room I would just run down the fire escape. As a teen I made some pretty bad choices. I know that my parents did the best they could do, but I did not want my children running with gangs and making the bad choices I did as a teen.

For disciplining them I grownd them. That means no outside, no television, no phone, no computer, no radio… nothing. Sometimes I give them extra chores around the house. I only hit each of them a handful of times or less in their lives for things like running out in the street, biting me hard, or playing with electrical outlets. Things that could hurt them. I tell my children that I love them everyday and give them lots of affection. I know that is the opposite of discipline, but equally important. I did not get that much as a child, and that played a part in some of my problems as a teen. I want my children to know that I love them.

Answer by martieko
With our kids it depends on the child and the offense. The oldest is 16 and the best way with her is first a talk about what she did and then she turns over her car keys and cell phone for a week. However if it is something like breaking curfew she looses those items as well as ot being allowed to go out for a week as well.

Our 11 year old is bad about back talking right now and when she does we tell her firmly it is not going to be tolerated and then she looses her phone for a week. When her grades slipped she lost the phone and computer as well no friends or activities during the school week until they came back up. She knows now that anything below a B- will keep her off cheerleading squad and no more basketball.

Our son is 9 and he looses his video games. As well if it is something small he still gets time outs.

I will not say I have never spanked my kids because we have but finding what matters most to them and then taking it for a few days is a lot more effective.

Growing up my parents were more likely to say next time than to actually punish us and if we did get grounded or a spanking then we knew we had pushed way to far.

Answer by *smile*
Well, I was never punished as a child. I didn’t get disciplined in any way.

so, YES, it’s different for my kids. They get time outs, things taken away, or my oldest may get grounded from having friends over or going to friends etc.

My mom often comments on how unfair I am to my children because I never got punished. However, I think it is unfair NOT to discipline a child when they need it. I think kids need structure.

Answer by ndsandman
I am old enough to remember being spanked. That was the way it was done back then. Nowadays its a different world with different views.
It all depends on the age of your children, mine are 9 and 7 now.
I use a four step program that’s works for me. First I take away any video gaming. Still continues I take away the TV rights, third toys are taken away. And the last thing i take away are their books. Both mine love to read.

I throw away toys when i take them away from them too, but normally they are the Mc D’s toys broken ones, they haven’t caught on to that one yet. I have also bought a lot of fun activity books for them to play with and when I get to four, books pulled, I sometime tear pages they have done in the activity books out and that shakes them up a little, that I might do that to their book collection too.

I remember asking my boys to clean there room afew years ago, and they went into the bedroom and 15 minutes later said we are done. I grab the garbage can with a new liner and extra garbage bag and a plastic snow shovel (yes it was that bad). I told them to leave their room I need to clean up all toys that where left out, and no they could not go back in to finish,, they said they where done. In the garbage can i filled it up with broken toys, and Mc D’s you know trash can toys out they went. With the garbage bag I placed the good toys in that were left out, and tied it shut. They saw the can full of toys and a sealed bag when my wife and I left the room. ya .. fear I could smell the fear they felt on just what just happened. So we threw out the bag in the can, and hide the ones in the other bag and slowly placed them back in there room every so often, till all were replaced. Needless to say when I say clean up your room now all these years later I never see their room a mess anymore.

But the most inportant lesson with any of these rules and punishments are you the parent must be ready to inforce them and follow through on them. Set rules and follow them.

I have said no TV for a week for fighting, and that means both parents have to follow or the kids will learn to use the parent against each other or learn that one will back down .. not a good idea.

If I set the punishment for X amont of time, and both are behaving I might say if you do this or continue doing what your doing I will reward you by lessing your punishment. Modified rules but still following them.

Remember to REWARD them for good and not just punish them for bad.

Answer by Victory
I was smacked and whooped with a thick leather belt as a child and I told myself I would never do that to my children.I use timeout and take favorite things away.