My mother thinks I am too young to have children. How do I get her use to the idea of being a grandma?

Wife4Life: My mother thinks I am too young to have children. How do I get her use to the idea of being a grandma?
My husband and I have been together for 5 years, we plan to get pregnant next year when I am 24.

My father stopped by our house unexpectedly and saw a bassinet a friend gave us.

My father seemed happy about us planning to have a baby, but he did not tell my mother because she would freak out.

My mother says 24/25 is too young to get pregnant.

She also says she feels too young to be a grandma since she has my two little brothers still in grade school

My mother is 45 years old and this would be her first grandchild.

She says she wants me to wait until I am 30 to have my first child.

If I even say the word “baby” she gets upset.

How do I get her to lighten up about becoming a grandma in a year or so?

Answers and Views:

Answer by jess
Don’t worry about her she’s being selfish, your married she isnt supporting you, do what you want with your life, and she can either be happy or not be involved.

Answer by Emilyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Well, this is about you and your husband, not your mother. If you talk to her about it, I hope she will be able to get used to the idea.

Good luck.

Answer by caitlinerika
If she doesn’t get used to the idea of it before you become pregnant, I imagine she’ll get used to it while you are pregnant. She’ll probably be really excited about having a baby around that she doesn’t have to mother. She could also pick out what she wants your kids to call her. It doesn’t have to be “grandma.” Then maybe she won’t feel really old if she is just called some other fun kid name. Good luck with her and your kids!

Answer by nas8caror300
your just the right age to have your first …and if you are congats!!!! my sis 30 and having her 2nd Sept 4th…her other is 6 im finally going to have nephew

Answer by aprilsigler
Have the baby. when she holds it in her arms everything will change for u and her… your a grown woman and have the right to have this baby. she get use to it when its here. and you could try letting her pick out what she wants the baby to call her that usely works out better that way. my child calls her grandmother nana, memaw,

Answer by b-ballplayer
tell her how happy you and your husband are, and your old enough to make your own choices
your mom shouldn’t have to make them for you, i guess she just wants the best for you and her
maybe that’s why she’s hesitant

Answer by freaking_morons_ugh
You are a grown, married woman that no longer lives in her house. Quit worrying about her and do what you want to do. When she sees that baby for the first time she will get over it all. Just because she may have been “too young” when she had you doesn’t mean that the same standard needs to be applied to you. My sister was a grandmother at age 40. She too thought that she was too young, but she got over it. No one knows what the right time for you is but you. Good luck!

Answer by motherofthree
I know it is hard not to get your mothers approval on this, but it is not up to your mother. When you have a child is up to 3 people, you, your husband and God. You need to decided and pray about it. If it feel like the right time, then go for it. Your mom will have to get used to the idea.

Answer by CIlla84
Just have your baby, she’ll get over it once she see’s the bundle of joy! =)

Answer by Jack
You are too old to be asking that question. It is good to be concerned about your mother’s feelings; but you and your husband are the authority of your marriage. The two of you do not answer and should not answer to your parents though you can respect and even ask for advice as needed.

Answer by udgula26
Personally I don’t think that 24 is too young, I had my first baby at 19. My mum was about 38 and thought she was too young to be a nana. Eventually they get used to the idea. I included my mum in dr’s appointments and ultrasounds, picking clothes etc. This helped, I think!!

Once the baby comes she’ll get over it, all she will see is her beautiful little grandchild!!

Hope it all goes well! Good Luck!!

Answer by jbpammy004
It is my understanding that when you get married, you no longer have to answer to your parents. If you and your jusband feel like it si time to have a baby, then by all means do. Your mother will just have to suck up and adjust.

Answer by ………
You guys are married and you guys are old enough to have kids. It isn’t like ur a are young or still in junior or senior high and just hooked up or wanted to have a baby no matter what. You are married responsible adults. And u have been married 5 years! Your are truley ready to make the plunge into motherhood if u belive and have a husband to be there for you. Good Luck!

Answer by Caitlin J
Since when is it your parent’s decision or right to be a parent when you are well over the age of making your own decisions? First of all, you’re married, CONGRATULATIONS! Second of all, you won’t even be a statistic. Third of all, my guess is your mom got pregnant with you when she was fairly young, and in her own way is just warning you of how hard it really is. I wouldn’t even try coaxing your mom into the conversation, because frankly, at this point, she doesn’t want to hear it. Is your own mother so petty that she’ll turn her back on her own daughter when you become pregnant? I don’t think so, you are doing your family planning at the right age! Who wants to have their children graduating high school when they’re 50?! Maybe that’s your mom’s case-but that was her decision. This is strictly you and your husband’s decision! Don’t let anyone tell you different. Do you have any friends that work at hospital’s that deliver babies? If so, devise a mom/daughter day, and stop by the hospital to “pick something up” making a point to go past the nursery to see the babies. Everyone loves newborn babies-almost everyone. Just give her time, it’s not her choice, it ain’t like when you were 8 and didn’t get to pick what you wanted from Dairy Queen-it’s your life, and your family! GO MAKE ONE! GOOD LUCK!

Answer by *Julie*
Thats a great age i wishes i waited that long but i didn’t .
my mom was a grandma at 36 yrs old my sis was 18 when she had the first grandkid so you mom shouldn’t feel old my mom was feeling yooung and in good sprits about it

Answer by Kenya
You are married, don’t live with your mother, have a husband and I assume financially stable….don’t let your mother run your household she has her on to run. Good luck on conceiving:)

Answer by Shane’s mommy
I am having my second child at 23, no I’ll be 24 years old. My mom is 46 right now. If you are married, have your finances in order and are planning this the right way, I would be up front with her and tell her to butt out! It is not any of her concern, tell her she did a good job raising a woman who is married and prepared for a child, she should thank her lucky stars that you aren’t 16 and single thinking about having a baby next year! Have you seen some of the questions posted on here?
If she is worried that SHE is too young, you should give her a reality check. If YOU have a baby it really has nothing to do with her. Not your fault that she decided to be an old mother. Perhaps you have plans for your future when you are her age, and that doesn’t include raising children until your 60!
I congratulate you on being responsible and planning your future the way YOUR dreams dictate, not someone Else’s.

Answer by lady_bug418
Your husband and you are the ones that have to make this decision, not your mother. If you have been married for 5 years and you and your husband know this is the right time for you to start a family then move forward with it. Your mom will accept the fact and she will love any grandchildren you give her. Good Luck!

Answer by Saski
Sorry my friend but she will NEVER get use to the idea. I am 23 and am facing the same problem with my mother-in-law, you just have to put their perspective aside and think on the delight a child would bring to you and your husband’s life. Another thing it is impossible for you to wait until you are thirty cause medically proven women have real problems while pregnant and at child’s birth after the age of 26 and giving birth to their first child.

Answer by shiann
You are at a great age to have kids. Who wants to have kids in their 30’s? Just think if you have them now, while they are young you can actually play with them. Also by the time you are 50 they should be out on their own. Just quit discussing the issue with her. When you get pregnant hopefully her opinion will change. When the baby gets here, she is bound to be happy. Good Luck!

Answer by Millicent
My personal opinion is:
You just need to continue moving on with your life with your husband and plan on having children when YOU want to. Eventually, I believe that she will “come around” and be accepting of it, since having children of her own. Good luck dear.

Answer by Airagirl17
well your not to Young to have a baby..its better to have them now then l8ter because you don’t want to be all old when your child is graduates high school now do ya?..cuz do you reallize how old your mom is and how young her other children are..yeaHh shes going to be like almost 60 years old by the time they do i just think thats way to old right there..so i think its better to have the baby young i mean iam 17 years old and i dont mind..