Marriage…?

plyby_bnny_85: Marriage…?
i’m 21 and before you all say i’m too young to get married and all that, i wanna know:

1. how long is best to date before talking about marriage or getting engaged (sp?). the reason i am sking this is because i see SO many people around me from school and/or family that are getting married (lots of them are younger!) so a part of me thinks i should be getting married right about now.

2. i know that i am not ready for several reasons (financial being the biggest) so how do i get myself to stop thinking so much about getting married???

**oh, just some extra info: i’ve been dating my b/f for over a year and knew him for 4 years before we started going out. he’s a really great guy and i can see my self being with him forever which is what i think prolly what triggered all this marriage stuff.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Anne S
I am 28 years old and single. I have dealt with these same issues since graduating high school. And yes, I still think about them. I just have to learn to be loving and accepting to myself, and accept nothing less than the best. I recently broke up with a boyfriend I was not happy with and he was very financially secure. I am now working full time and in school full time, definitely not financially secure. But I feel as if I am being who I really am, and working hard for my goals gives me a sense of confidence in myself that I wouldn’t have had if I stayed with him.

Answer by Dre
Marriage is a lifetime commitment so you will know when you are ready! He will also know but don’t pressure him, let him decide. Focus on those things that will make you a better wife and person in general but most of all work on the “FRIENDSHIP” with your boyfriend! That is what will keep the marriage going!

Answer by Monsieur Rcik
In my first and only marriage, I waited 6 years before I got married. I would have waited longer, but I wanted to get married before I was 30. I was 29. You should get married when you feel that you are ready to make that commitment. What your friends or people you know are doing is irrelevant.

Enjoy your courtship and the freedom that it offers both of you

Answer by Artmist
I honestly got married one week after my 19th birthday. The best advise i can give you is to be head strong about your education, your self and keep making goals. Besides you can always if asked have a long engagement.

Answer by piepiepie
I’m 22 and I’ll be getting married when I’m 24, but really it’s actually everything, but the legal part. If you’re not sure that you’re ready to get married, then don’t do it! Talking about it is one thing. I don’t think it’s bad to talk about future expectations. Hopefully though, you know yourself and what you want from life and match those values and expectations with your lovers. That knowing yourself not very common are our age though is it? I think a lot of girls fall into that “omgz it’s a wedding! EEH!” crap and don’t think very seriously about the relationship. Plan the wedding second and have the relationship first. The wedding really is just a party.

As for financial reasons? I don’t even know what those are! My lover and I don’t have any money and we won’t have much money or even jobs when we get married, but it’s not like we’re planning on buying a house or anything like that for quite awhile. Living in an apartment with two people is easier on your bank account than living alone, but I guess a lot of people think getting married means buying a house, planning babies and settling down.

Answer by daysleepernightcreeper
Don’t get married. Get a religious marriage, not a “legal” one because that way you don’t get screwed when you get divorced. I know from experience. My soon to be ex racked up 135,000 in debt on my name doing what he wanted to do, and I didn’t know about it. Now I’m stuck having to pay for some of that, and I don’t even know what I’m paying for. At least if it’s a religious marriage and you have children, child custody isn’t a battle and neither is splitting half of his debt. Most young people who marry end up in divorce. I married at 18 and am divorcing at 23.