How to tell guests that gifts are appreciated but not necessary?

rettamottnawi: How to tell guests that gifts are appreciated but not necessary?
I’m sending out invitations to friends and family to attend a BBQ and to celebrate my son’s 1st birthday. Is there an appropriate way to tell guests that birthday presents are not necessary but appreciated. I didn’t want to tell people not to bring a gift because some people really like giving gifts but I also didn’t want people to feel it was necessary to bring a gift. I really just want everyone to come and have a good time.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Grant Michols
“gifts are appreciated but not necessary”

You answered your own question 😀

Answer by JonV
It’s supposed to go without saying that gifts are appreciated but not necessary. And since nowadays you often see “no gifts” on invitations, the word “appreciated”, even with the “not necessary”, might actually be seen as a request for a gift. The best thing is to say nothing about gifts at all.

Answer by David H
The best thing to do is say “No gifts, please” on the invite, or something like “Your presence is gift enough”. In any case, this clearly lets people off the hook for feeling they must bring a present. There will always be people that bring presents no matter what you say. If you have said “no gifts” then you should have a place out of the way for those that show up and don’t reinforce the bad behavior by opening them in front of the guests that respected your request for no gifts.

Answer by Purpleflower
You don’t have to tell them anything. There will be people who will bring a gift and there will always people who don’t give gifts. Just tell everyone that comes, “thank you for coming” adding, “thank you for the lovely gift” discreetly to the people who brought them.

If someone tells you that they feel bad for not bringing a gift, just say “oh, don’t even worry about it, I’m just glad you came. It means so much that you did.”

Answer by Vicki R
Wow.. that’s a first! I thought I was the only one left in the world who places the guests company and enjoyment of the occasion over the importance of gifts. Like you, I know that some will love to give a gift as well and that’s their choice. Please don’t open the gifts in front of other non-gift-giving guests… that would make them embarrassed.

You could write something like this on the invitation:
“The pleasure of your company in the celebration of our son’s first birthday is the greatest gift. No further gift is necessary.”