How should I tell my bitter mother that we are having a baby?

Dadof4Kiddies: How should I tell my bitter mother that we are having a baby?
My wife and I are planning on conceving our first child soon.

We have not told anyone in my family because of my mother.

She does not like my wife because she “took me away” from her.

My mother is nearly 50 and has no boyfriend and no life of her own.

I am her only child so she is really weird about me having my own family.

I have been with my wife for 5 years and I know my mom will not be happy when we have a baby.

I want to tell her in person along with my wife when we are expecting.

I want to tell her in front of the whole family so she can’t say something stupid and hurt our feelings.

What would be a good thing to do to tell her at a family event?

Answers and Views:

Answer by Evaluate
Tell it while u’re making a toast.

Answer by Jen S
Tell her she is going to be a grandma and that ya’ll can’t wait to have the pidder paddle of little feet.

Answer by p.L.o
i say tell her at a family event so not only do you tell her and get it over with but you tell the rest of your family as well and that way she knows and whatever she needs to say she can just say it to her self.

Answer by chica198706
just tell her she has to deal with it she is gonna have a grandbaby sounds to me your momma wants u

Answer by ekinevel
At the dinner table with other people, wait for someone to ask you, “So how have you and (your wife) been?” Then say, “Well, actually, we have some news. Everybody, listen up! We are switching to satellite dish instead of cable!!”

Then say, “Oh, yeah – and we’re having a baby.”

Honestly, man. If you and your wife have been together 5 years, it’s your life. It sucks that your mom can’t be happy for you, but that can’t be the most important thing on your mind right now. Congratulations.

Answer by dee_07_99
Well first make sure that your wife is passed her miscarrage stage in the pregnancy. I would tell her on her birthday (if its comming up) and have a big party for her and give her a card that says to a wonderful grandmother, or something along that line.

Answer by Sweenygirll
some people hate hearing about their children and grandchildren having babies. My mom’s mom doesn’t like to hear about it so my mom tells her parents and my dad tells his mom. I do not care what others think. Your mother will stop acting so immature when your baby is born. You should all become closer.

Answer by JsK
i think you should be more considering about your mother and your wife’s situation.

it is pretty normal for a mother to feel “robbed” of her son…
which usually means she loves you to death.

and I can’t believe the fact that you didn’t do anything for the last 5 years to solve this!

If I were you, I would really talk to your mother
and convince her to bless your marriage.

She probably hates the guts out of your wife since you just left your mother for 5 years and went ahead with your own life.

I mean… she’s the reason you were born in the first place!

repent!

Answer by shizzlechit
I think you should at least tell y our mom first. Not as if she weren’t special. She might feel slighted if you tell here the same time as everyone else. Give your mom a chance. You never know, things can be different. your mom sounds insecure and lonely. Maybe having another part of you running around in the form of a baby of course, would be delightful for her. Tell her before you tell anyone else. :))

Answer by dkmcb02
If she is that difficult and if you can get away without seeing her for 9 months I would let her know after the baby is born. You and your wife do not need any stress during this happy time

Answer by Snele
Look she will be happy, she must be … i mean it’s not normal that some1 doesn’t want grandchildren … she will be thrilled to hear such news …and she will have something to occupy her time … she would want to take care of the baby !!!

And if she doesn’t react positivly to such news she belong in a mental hospital !!!

Answer by aerofrce1
I am so sorry that you feel your mother wouldn’t be happy for you. This should be a time of joy and happiness. I don’t know your mother, but maybe telling her with others is the best way to go. Then maybe since the rest of the people would be happy (I assume) it would rub off on her. Maybe since your mom has no life of her own you could include her in some baby things that both you and your wife feel good about including her in. I would for sure wait until you are expecting to tell her.

If you are sure she will say something stupid or mean to hurt you, at least you know her well enough to be prepared for her to do that. I have a family member like that who always says the wrong thing. But I try not to take it personal. Good luck to both you and your wife. I hope that when your mother sees her grandbaby, that will give her a reason to be happier.

Answer by «Da Latin Pride«
Tell her how sweet will it be to be a grandmother, I betcha 10 online-bucks that she won’t get mad about it. 😉

Answer by Steve H
To tell you the truth, it doesn’t matter where you tell her or how many people are around. if she is bitter, and upset with you having a baby, she will let you know it at some time, whether that is sooner or later.

If she says anything nasty, tell her that you are a grown up, ready to start your own family, and if she wants anything to do with you or your family, she needs to be happy for you, or at the least needs to keep negative comments to herself.

Stress is not good for pregnant women, and if you have a rocky relationship with your mom always nagging and harping on you, that will be sure to stress out your wife.

Answer by take_me_away3354
wow that is a hard situation your mom prolly feels like you are the only person she has that loves her for her i would definitely sit down with her and explain that no matter what happens you will always be her child and that you will always love her but if she keeps on with the way she is acting towards your wife that things are gonna get worst. explain to her that she is gaining a grandchild not losing a son tell her that the new baby would just be another person t love her as much and u and Ur wife just but definitely sit down with her alone and explain this to her it seems as if you to need some time to talk good luck

Answer by KIT-KAT
The next time you have a family get together announce that you and your wife are planning to start a family soon. If she is not happy about it there is nothing you can do. I do believe that once you both have your baby that grandma will come around!

Answer by marnefirstinfantry
Get mom a boyfriend….

Answer by toni h
Go for it ,tell her ,she may enjoy a baby around ????once she sees the baby ,she might change her ways ????

Answer by cfranklinwf
My husband and I had the same problem when we had our son. Its like our situation is alike in every way. My mother in law hates me because i took her baby boy away from her. We had been married for 4 years and we got pregnant. I was so excited and did not look forward to telling her at all. But if we told anyone else before her then we would have suffered the consequences. So we went to her house and sat down and told her. She stared crying and accused me getting pregnant to try to trap my husband. She called me a slut and said that I would be a terrible mother. She was trying to upset me in every way. She got down on her knees and begged my husband to leave me. I was more upset that I have ever been in my life. So if I were you, I would tell her over the phone. If she does not respect you and your wife enough to treat your wife like a part of the family then she is only worthy of the phone call. If she is anything like my mother in law then keep your wife away from her. She has made my life a living hell since I had my little boy. I hope your mother is not as bad as my mother in law. Good luck and congrats on the baby.

Answer by gummybear1772
Maybe you should tell her of your plans before the conception – you and your wife will be less likely to take whatever she has to say to heart when you’re not pregnant yet. Listen to what she has to say and then go on with what you want to do. You can’t live for your mom and it sounds like you’ve more than taken her feelings into consideration. Good luck and no matter what have your babies and enjoy them

Answer by Anna E
try inviting family members over to your house for a get-together, you can barbecue or something. then during dinner or during drinks and conversation you can make the announcement that you are trying to have a baby. when everyone else will be happy and excited for you, i’m sure your mother won’t be able to say anything mean or hurtful without someone calling her on it. i don’t think she would go as far as to say something in front of everyone. good luck, don’t let anyone ruin what will be a very happy time in your lives!!! 🙂

Answer by gypsy g
Don’t tell her at all. Until she asks. She’s got some serious issues.
We all love our parents and other family members, but I don’t know why so many of you put up with their abusive behavior and not say something. It works wonders to stop worrying about how other people feel and react to the way you live your own life.

Answer by claire w
Wait til you wife is out of the miscarriage stage and then find an excuse to send your mum a card. Sign it from you, your wife and “bump”

Answer by bre
ok listen im 13 and i thought i was pregnant and i just told my mom straight up and she understod and if ur mom dont understand then move out

Answer by jachooz
I am so sorry that you have to deal with this…………….I am 38 and pregnant…( I have 14 year old twins) and I told my father that I was pregnant again and he called me all kinds of names. He said that I was selfish and should concentrate on my kids that I already have and I am too old to have a baby……
You are going to have to live for yourselves….you can not let your mother spoil your fun and excitement about your baby….It’s hard to do but all you can do is hope tht when she sees that little one that she comes around…..maybe her involvement in the pregnancy and the possibility of babysitting willhelp ease her loneliness……find her a friend – fast!

Answer by just.a.girl
Get support of the rest of your family, you guys need to do this.

I’m sure when she gets to hold her grandson in her arms, she’ll feel that you and your wife just gave her one more reason to live and to be happy.

Tell her that you won’t be able to raise this kid without her help, maybe she’s just affraid to be left alone, so try to involve her in everything.
She needs to feel she hasn’t lost a son, but gained a whole family 🙂

Good luck!

Answer by mommy
If she’s that bitter why bother…give her the choice…she can like it and be part of your family…or she can hate it and be alone for the rest of your life. Your wife and child are sticking around