how important is “making love” in a relationship?

vladistheman: how important is “making love” in a relationship?
I have been with a girl for almost two years… yesterday we had a very big argument regarding the fact that we aren’t making enough love. At the beginning of our relation we used to have a lot of sex. Meaning that every time we had the opportunity we did it. And then came a period, witch is still in progress, when we make love very rarely, meaning that we last had sex almost a month ago, and that is just the latest example, we stopped making love frequently about 6 months ago. I feel that her sex drive is slowly coming to an abrupt stop. We are having sex less and less as the months pass. She says that sex is not very important to her, but so unimportant that from may to october we had sex maybe 10 times! Do you think that it is ok? am I being too much of a pig wanting to have sex at least once every two weeks? Or she is just not as attracted to me as she used to be? She wouldn’t admit that she is not attracted to me anymore, and she says she loves me but she doesn’t want to have sex with me, except on VERY RARE occasions when she really jumps at me. But except that, nothing. I am losing it, because I love her very much and I would like to make love to her as much as I could. I really need an advice! One from a girl would be better. What should I do? I love her, we both want to get back together, but what should I do? Should I stay with her and ignore the fact that although we are 20 yrs old we make love 20 times a year TOPS or we should break up because her sex drive is way, way lower than mine?

Answers and Views:

Answer by FInny Macgee
Not very. But fucking is essential.

Answer by HannahHEARTBREAK
if you love her you’d be able to get past the sex situation.

YEAH thumbs down me you *******

Answer by â?¥ Super Girl â?¥
I would have to say that making love in a relationship is important however not as important as the foreplay that initiated the whole thing to begin-with. I mean you have to fool around a little more to make her feel loved and actually want to have sex so the drive can increase and the love making begins. Try being a little sweeter and romantic than usual and kiss a little more that always help to rekindle what you had at one time. Relationships tend to lose the spark the longer your into them however when you realize it, its up to you to try and make it work but in the meantime not only try as what I mentioned above….communication works too…let her know how you feel about the situation and that you miss being close to her.

Answer by m3du2a
I am not going to say all girls but MOST girls have a lower sex drive then men. That does sound like a long time to go without sex in a young relationship even if you have a low sex drive. The point of having sex in a relationship is to represent the passion you have for one another. Not to sound me but did you or her gain a lot of weight? Sometimes not feeling sexy can cause a low sex drive. Or it can be because nothing exciting is happening anymore. Try to go out on a special date or do more activities that might help.
The best thing you can do its to talk to her and be honest but not mean.
Good Luck!

Answer by daylight0000
when this happens to woman, it’s not the sex drive is YOU. you need to make sure that your going to satisfied her to the point that she looks forward to doing it again.your probably satisfying yourself and leaving her hanging and she’s bored

Answer by Mr. Indigenous
You’ve obviously stopped treating her the way you did when you two first met…

You have to constantly have to win her affections, and have a bunch of foreplay if you’re ever going to get the ball rolling again in the bedroom.

She probably thinks you only want her for sex now anyways, when that happens women stop putting out.

It’s like telling her, “rollover and give me some b*tch” and expecting her to be happy…

Buy her some flowers, buy her a nice dinner, and then sit out under the stars…. I’ll be willing to bet she’d be willing to put out if you did this just ONCE IN A WHILE!

Answer by Lauren
I’d say its crucial.

Answer by PiscesPassion
TADA!!
…and THAT ladies & gentlemen is what happens when a relationship isn’t respected “right from the beginning”.
I’ve always said that “the quicker you jump into things, the quicker you’ll jump out again”… that’s in regards to relationships. It’s just so important to get to know each other WITHOUT SEX for at least a year + so that you know you’re actually “compatible”. Now, you seem to feel you have not much in common with this girl, other than sex. Sex is exciting, it’s enriching, it’s lovely… but if you get to know each other for a while “first” (as just plain humans and partners), then the sex will be a “plus” in the relationship.
I say you stay with her (since you are stating that you love her) and have sex whenever it comes up.
HENCE, IT’S IMPORTANT BUT NOT THAT IMPORTANT TO BREAK UP!!!!!

Answer by Sandy
To be honest for her sex may not be a big drive right now. it’s diff for guys. maybe you should consider couples counseling it could help

Answer by Lea T
First, let’s state the obvious – you’re a man and you’re focused on the sex.
She’s a woman and she’s focused on….wait for it…..
RELATIONSHIP.

So, what kind of relationship do you have with this woman? When it was hot and heavy were you “dating” her? Are you “dating” her now? Do you treat her like she’s special (GIRL special – not “I lay with her on the couch while we watch a movie” special). Do you take her out or make her dinner? Do you show her a fun time? Dating life and discovery is much more exciting than the mundane…spice it up.

BUT while you’re spicing up that dating life –

Recommendation: Read or listen to the book “The Five Love Languages.” You guys are both ignoring the others’ love language – she’s ignoring your need for sex, you are probably ignoring her need for whatever “love language” she speaks. Personally, mine is words of affirmation – what that means is that if my husband verbally builds me up then I am much more willing and committed to speaking his love language…in bed!

Oh, and I will also tell you that you may want to decide where your relationship is going – are you guys planning to get married? Are you going to make a real commitment to each other that is pretty difficult to break? You may want to talk about that, also.

Oh, and one other thing to consider in relationships with women is that our sex drive can be very hormonally driven. If you’re partner is on any kind of birth control, well, I’ll tell you from experience that it can be very hard to get excited about sex when you’re not having that spike of estrogen during ovulation – that, my friend, is when the fun REALLY begins!

Answer by Heidi
I don’t get why guys always seem to have sex on the brain…. It’s not that important honestly. If you really care about her, you’ll let it go and have sex when she wants it, even if you have to wait.

Answer by Lisa
One common problem that happens is this. I have been there and done that. You have to figure out what it is first that is destroying her sex drive. If shes on medication like birth control or anti-depressants that is something to think about and do research on. Other then that it could just be stress, maybe the kids, really anything that makes your life stressful can do this and lower the libido.

One thing I tried that seemed to work while I was doing it was exercising. I just felt sexier doing it which kind of boosted my libido. However it wasn’t the best solution for me. My friend told me about these herbal enhancers that are made from natural herbs and don’t cause any side effects besides having wild sex. She said it’s the female version of viagra that you should suggest to her. I had to find out.

I would always have a weak orgasm too (if I had one at all), which after trying this sex enhancer, it boosted them tremendously. I don’t get multiple orgasms but I’ve had plenty since being on these herbs. It’s seriously like the best vibrator ride you’ve ever experienced. These things make me horny all the time, some days I don’t even take them because the urge is just too strong.

Don’t try out single herbs because they don’t do it like the blend of herbs these scientists and researchers pick out. I’ve tried a couple of them by itself and they did crap. The stuff that I’m on is called Hersolution, at the time I saved money on it at herenhancement.com . Make sure she gets the 3 month supply that way you fall under the guarantee/return policy if the herbs don’t work for her, she can return them with no questions ask. I bet they will work though and you won’t have any problems. Also if shes on medication of any sort, check out the gel because if your like me, you wouldn’t want to swallow any thing that might react with the medications your already on.

Well have a good day and hopefully you solved your problem.