How do you punish irresponsible parents without harming the children?

Wendell S: How do you punish irresponsible parents without harming the children?
Every working person is offended by the benefits that irresponsible people receive for having children that they neither want or can afford. But these children are innocent victims of their parents behaviors, none asked to be here. It is hypocritical to complaining about feeding a child here, when we spend billions killing children in other countries. With more and more people having children out of wedlock and no slowing in site. How do we alter this behavior without harming the children more? Since we can not sterilize people in this country, what do we do or is this just how its going to be?

Answers and Views:

Answer by HAHA
Having children is a part of being human. Most people have them at some point. Back in the day the average person had a lot more than they do today. 10 kids used to be quite common. Now it seems the average is around 3. Are you saying that poor people shouldn’t be able to have kids? I think irresponsible should be defined a little more. How do you know they don’t want them? People who don’t want their kids have options. Everyone should be able to experience the joys of having children. Not everyone can have good jobs and make good money. Some people abuse the system and maybe there should be more things in place to stop that. But, some people don’t and genuinely need some help. There will always be rich and poor people in our country unless we change from a democracy to something else where everyone can be more equal. I think the government already intervenes in the lives of people too much. If we are going to spend money on anything…I can’t think of a better place to spend it on then spending it on people less fortunate.

Answer by Lisa A
If you lose your children to social services, you should not get them back. Ever. You shouldn’t get a second chance when it comes to the welfare of your children.

Then the parents’ benefits can be taken away without hurting the children. And the children don’t have to linger in foster care for the rest of their childhoods, bouncing from home to home. They can be placed PERMANENTLY with loving, responsible parents.

Answer by squeederdork
You can’t.

if you “fine” the parents, the kids suffer. if you throw the parents (or one parent) in jail, the kids suffer. If you take the kids away fromteh parents, everyone suffers, including me, the taxpayer, in higher fees to raise these kids.

Unless you are willing to take China-like measures to limit people 9and America was built on freedom to choose), you are really stuck

Answer by asailor77
you raise a very good point and I believe that a solution is needed as well! What a hard situation we have here and it is time more people realize that by cutting off or punishing parents you are essentially giving their children no hope for a future. We have to alter this situation,, but I am sorry to say i just don’t know what to do. I do think we need to start holding people accountable for their actions however and there has gotta be a way to do that without harming the innocent children. You sound like a very interesting individual to conversate with.

Answer by idontknowitall
vasectomy with a capital V baby. (or tubal with … well you get the idea) i know you said that sterilization isn’t allowed but i just HAD to throw that in there. if not the only other option is serious jail time for neglect when they can’t take care of their offspring and give the kids to some adoptive parents who will likely do a better job. anyone who says the natural parents will do a better job has just not worked with public.

Answer by O.G.
we can teach birth control, but i don’t want to hear about what we spend on AMERICANS when we spend billions on other countries food, defense, roads, etc,etc,

Answer by TWIN DOG
It’s just how it is meant to be or have you heard of a better master plan There will be those who other wise would of otherwise not gotten out of those situations unable to help the next ones hay! sacrifices will be made try to have faith look at it this way are you doing your part to your children if so then that’s one miracle more hurray for us today

Answer by Disciple
Interesting. However, America is based on freedom and people will do what they choose. There really isn’t much we could do to punish the parents without harming the children. It’s a personal choice to not have kids until a more convenient time and they’re are people who do not believe in birth control.

I do agree with you. Irresponsible people should be reprimanded for their actions. I’m sure if there wasn’t a system in place to give handouts to people who make bad choices then people would maybe think twice about what they do.

Answer by Mirca
In response to Lisa A – The problem is that most children who get taken by the state NEVER get loving homes, in this country. They go from foster home to foster home. They turn 18 and then they are “adults” who have not had a real family and now have no one. There are not enough good parents willing to open their homes to the troubled children … these children are taken away for good reasons and they are left scarred and damaged from their past childhood. Some do, many don’t. Don’t assume it is usually a happy ending when a child is taken. Hopefully the situations they are placed into are better than the situation they left, but often they are not “happy warm fuzzy loving” homes.

Answer by ?
Are you for real?????????? The question should be how do you divert them out of this poverty trap. One suggestion has been to throw them in care, look at the statistics at for young people in care. Suicide, drugs and crime. My suggestion would be that rather than just sit and blame the parents or chuck them in to a system that just does not care you roll up your sleeves and pop down your local youth service provider and offer what you consider to be a more positive role model.
There can never be enough volunteers.

Answer by Fetus Fajitas
Five easy steps;

1) Make everyone receiving welfare take a depo pevera(birth control) shot. You get off of the system, the shot wears off, and you have no kids while on welfare. Having kids isn’t a right, it is a responsibility if you can’t afford it don’t take it on.

2) Take away their right to vote, if you can’t make good enough decisions to keep yourself off of welfare and not have kids you can’t afford then surely you cannot make a decision on government, also you will not vote in people that just promise more social programs.

3) Make them preform community service for 15-20 hours/week with a big orange vest that says “WELFARE” on it. The normal motivations for a good life don’t work, maybe a little shame will. Pick up trash on the side of the road and let everyone know you are a resource sucking parasite. I also want something back for my money. I work for mine and you don’t work for mine. (taxes). if you get money from the government, you should work for them.

4) Drug test, include alcohol and tobacco, I am not paying for your 40oz or pack of cigarettes.

5) Instead of allowing them to buy whatever food they want with my tax money give them a palette of food that they have to prepare. Staples only, bread, flour etc things they have actually got to prepare, these people are lazy by nature so if they have to work to prepare food maybe they will get a job so they can eat what they want.

These people are just parasites that breed more parasites, we need to break the cycle by making it is uncomfortable as possible for them to live, instead of coddling them and keeping them in a comfort zone. To get them on their feet we need to get them off of their a$ $ .

Answer by Zumaria
Your question implies that a “working person” will always be a responsible parent. Nothing could be further from the truth. Many working people do not give their children the time and attention or love and affection, that they need and deserve. Money does not guarantee that a person is a good parent. Have you ever seen Super Nanny on TV? Most of those families live in big homes, and seem to have a lot financially, but are clueless with certain issues with raising children. I agree that having children out of wedlock is wrong, but look at the double standard: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have LOTS of kids and no wedding date in sight, but that’s ok because they have money?

Answer by Terri L
I believe that you are so right. I believe everyone that has sex should take the day after pill.