msnit32202: How can I tell people no children are invited to our wedding?
My and my soon to be hubby, have decided we do not want children at our wedding. Neither of us have children and don’t really have the budget for to include them either. We were planning on putting on the invites “Please make other arrangements for children under the age of 16” or something along those lines. Would that please a clear indicator that no children are invited. Also I have been reading some wedding etiquette books and it says you should not put that on your invites.What do you think?
Answers and Views:
Answer by kno.it.all
Its not necessary to write that on the invitations if you have an evening wedding. People will know that it’s black tie and children aren’t invited unless you specifically mention them. Just put the names of the invited adults on the inner envelope. If anyone calls you to ask (and they probably won’t) then you can tell them that you only invited people aged 16 and up. We did the same thing and it worked out fine. Everyone understood and no one complained.
16 is too old to turn away unless you plan on having a rated R or X booze party of a reception.Answer by Corey A
I’d go with the etiquette book on this one. You’re supposed to take care of this by the way you address your invites. If the invite says:
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
Sally and Sam Doe
123 Nowhere Street
Anywhere USA 12345
Then children are invited.
If the invite only says:
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe
123 Nowhere Street
Anywhere USA 12345
With no mention of the children on the inner envelop either – then they are supposed to get the hint that it’s a “no children” affair. Maybe you could also try using word of mouth, but I don’t think you should explicitly put anything on the invitation about “no children.”Answer by bojanglestothemax
seeing as your entering into a commitment where you vow to settle down and start a family together, it seems kind of unfitting to have a childless celebration. thats why tour wedding etiquette book says not to.
but if thats what you want, then do it. just write the name of the adults on the invites, that will imply that their children are unwelcome.Answer by pmc8680
MAN JUST BE FRANK AND HONEST TELL THEM NO KIDS! orrrrrrrr
Have near a chuck e cheez so the brats have something to do.Answer by Passion
Well, if you don’t want children at your wedding then don’t have them there. I mean after all it is your wedding day and if you don’t have the extra money for kids to be there then you have to do what you have to do! If you don’t want to put it in your invited then just have it stated on something else, but put it along in the envelope with the invites. Also, everything doesn’t have to be done traditionally. If you really want to have that written in your invites just so people really get the message then go ahead and do so. Everybody does things differently. Whatever you decide to do just make sure people know above all else that you don’t want kids at your wedding so there will be no confusion about that on your special day. I hope you have a beautiful wedding day and good luck to your new future with your soon to be hubby!Answer by April Marie
Usually what most people do in this situation is write, “Adult Only Reception.” That usually gets the point across – and of course you don’t add the childrens names anywhere on the invitation.
You have to realize that sometimes no matter how blunt you are people don’t get it or think that they are the acceptation. You might come across some RSVP cards where they are have RSVP’d for themselves as well as their children. This is when you have to get on the phone and make some awkward calls – but it happens.Answer by miss_nikki
You’re going to find that’s a controversial question with people planning a wedding. Some people think it’s rude not to involve the entire family, others think that it’s logistically reasonable.
My best piece of advice if you want to do it politely is to address the invites Mr. & Mrs. Doe. That’s an indicator children are not welcome. Then you use the power of word of mouth to let people know it’s an adult only wedding/reception. Then if people RSVP for more than 2 you just nicely call and explain the wedding is for adults only.Answer by Brian A
I think that it is great that the other answers think that people will get the hint, but I fear they must have limited exposure to the public at large. Some people need to be hit over the head with a hammer before they get it. I think “Adult only reception” should get the point across explicitly and concisely.Answer by SChi25
You don’t mention so much as exclude it on the invitations.
The rules are, if children are invited, the invitation will read “and family.” If you address the invitations to Mr. and Mrs. Smith, people are to assume that kids are not invited.
However, you’ll still have those idiots that decide to “write in” their kids, or call you up and ask. In that case, you simply respond, “This is an adult-only wedding, as there was limited seating at the venue. I hope you understand.” Some people will get offended, and they either won’t come or get over it. Most people will be fine with it.
Just be prepared for a little drama, but don’t give those people two second of thought. Just accept it and move on.
We’re having an adult-only wedding as well, and I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. Kids are too unpredictable.
EDIT: bognagles: that makes no sense. My fiance and I are NOT planning on having kids. Nowhere in any vow does it say that kids are a mandatory thing when you get married. How ridiculous! The vows are about your commitment to each other.Answer by justwanttoknow
You can say:
Due to the formal nature of this event, we are unable to accommodate children under the age of 16.
Or have a evening wedding (8pm) where most parent will know not to bring kids..Answer by MissKnowItAll
Whatever you do, some people will be “offended”…
Are you putting your reception information on the invitation? If you’re doing a separate reception invitation, put it there. I don’t know how effective it would be to put it on the RSVP cards… I don’t know if people actually read them.
I do like wording it please make other arrangements in stead of NO… it’s much softer sounding.
The hard thing about etiquette books is that times they are a changin’…Answer by nova_queen_28
Etiquette is a lovely ideal, but it never ever works how it is intended in this situation. People inevitably will RSVP for themselves plus the kiddies so you do need to give some additional instructions.
In addition to addressing the invites to “Mr & Mrs” and put John & Jane on the inner envelope as well (if you have an inner envelope), you will need to say something to get the point across. Also, start preparing people know and let word get out that your wedding will be “no kids”. Don’t keep it secret and hope the invite sets everyone straight (its not likely).
Your wording might be taken as a bit harsh so I suggest that you have the invites made out with the words “Adults Only” printed somewhere on it or “Adults Only Reception To Follow at ….”. Most people won’t bring the kid to the ceremony if they aren’t invited to the reception.Answer by oy vey
On your response cards it should read “Adult only reception”Answer by Littlechit
Just so you know, there will be adults who will feel unincluded and may chose to sit it out, especailly if they don’t get a lot of family time. Don’t take it personally, but if I was invited, I wouldn’t come.Answer by meatheadfrompax
Just make a sign outside the chapel, That says you have to be this tall to enter with an arrow and a ruler. Like they have at amusement parks, nobody can argue if theirs a sign.Answer by Angela
On the bottom of your invitation put
Adult Wedding & ReceptionAnswer by My thoughts
Despite etiquette dictating how to address the invitations, not all your guests will read the etiquette books. You’re better off putting something like “Adults Only Reception” either on the invitation or the reply card.Answer by Wedding Plannner-Event Planner
Just simply state “Adult only Wedding and Reception” on the invites. On the wedding website list that its 16+