Does being “in love” not really matter to a marriage, as long as you love and respect your spouse?

Pineapple Shortcake: Does being “in love” not really matter to a marriage, as long as you love and respect your spouse?
I’m under the impression that being “in love” is only for kids, and adults are supposed to look at marriage as more of a business agreement, rather than a passionate thing. What do you think? Do you think you can just marry someone you aren’t in love with and make it work through sheer will?

Answers and Views:

Answer by punchbuggy
I am a romantic and believe you need love in a marriage.
I believe that love and respect and trust must be there – that lusty and “in love” feeling comes and go with the stresses and pleasures of a relationship.

But don’t marry just to be married.

Answer by Arizona Indian Doll
It’s not so much that adults look at marriage as a business agreement, it’s just after a number of years of marriage that initial newness and passion fades and many people mistake that as falling out of love. Once you get past that feeling and realize that you haven’t actually fell out of love, it has just morphed into a more comfortable state of being you realize that being in love doesn’t equate wanting to constantly kiss or jump your spouse.

I couldn’t be married to someone I wasn’t in love with and yes in the long run I think it matters very much.

Answer by sickblade
Yes, there are many cases where this has happened. But you can also fall in love over time. It doesn’t have to be love at first sight.

You may not be intensely attracted to him, but he wins you over with the way he treats you. The best thing you can ask for in life is to be married to a genuinely good person.

I was married to a very attractive woman. She ended up cheating on me. In looking for a potential future mate, the most important thing to me is not physical attraction, but whether or not she is a sweet and caring person. That’s the highest quality to me.

Answer by Softtouchmale
I hate to say this but if you’re not the special person in your spouse’s life; if they ignore you and treat you badly; if they aren’t willing to open up to you and trust you; and if you can’t talk to them about the things that matter to you, then you don’t have a marriage.

If marriage were strictly a business arrangement there’d be no point in taking vows at all. You might as well shack up, play house and sign a domestic relations agreement instead.

Answer by Christie Brucks
above all, i’m a logical person and believe that marriage is a contractual agreement between two people with similar values. i would choose the man who wants to be married more than the passionate love affair type of relationship. i think the four most important things are a sense of self, respect, trust and then last of all, sexual chemistry. it is important to be sexually attracted to your mate, but i would choose respect and friendship over everything else.

Answer by Ava
well, no matter how “in love” people start out being, no matter who they are or how perfect they are for eachother, that feeling will not last. the feeling of being in love is actually called infatuation. it has to do with chemicals in the brain, and only lasts for usually around a year. so, many couples get married and are in fact feeling in love, but like I said, that fades away no matter who you are. So yes marriage, at least after some time, only lasts if both people have the will for it to. because after that infatuation feeling wears off, there is nothing chemical in their brains holding them to eachother anymore, and thats when we have to decide whether or not to commit to them anyway, an act of true love.
we can love anyone we want to. we might not get to choose who we are infatuated with at first, but real love is just a mental choice to commit, to think well of them, to think only of them, its a verb, a choice. Its not easy and its not usually pretty either. so to answer your question, you can marry someone you arent in love with and make it work through sheer will. eventually, that’s what ALL marriages come down to. That’s why arranged marriages arent such a crazy idea. because the “in love” feeling Americans are taught to rely on is short lived and fleeting anyway. It only helps move the process along.

Answer by geri
No, being in love matters.

Answer by TheOne
In our marriage, it matters a lot.

Without that love between us ? It would be difficult. During the bad times, the love keeps me going. If all I had for him was respect, I would not be married to him.

It takes that and more for our marriage to survive everything we have gone through.

Peace.

Answer by TexasDolly
Being in love is for every age! It is hard enough to live with someone you do love than to try to live with someone you don’t! Marriage cannot survive without love. That being “in love” feeling comes and goes the longer the relationship lasts. As we mature, love can be expressed in many ways besides the sexual aspects. You should never marry someone you do not love. The chance of that type of marriage being happy and successful is about as about the same as trying to stuff a large marshmallow into a piggy bank slot. Just won’t work.

Answer by cppdummy
“Do you think you can just marry someone you aren’t in love with and make it work through sheer will?”

It’s possible. But it’d be a rough marriage.

Answer by IDK
You can reach a mush deeper love thru caring and respect then you can love and passion with no respect.

Answer by Grandma’s Wisdom
no..your true feelings will come out..if you fall in then eventually you fall out of