What age do children typically begin to understand the difference between “love” and “like”?

Miss D: What age do children typically begin to understand the difference between “love” and “like”?
I think this is a pretty abstract concept, but I babysit a 3 year old girl who seems to have grasped it on her own. I don’t know where she picked this up from and neither do her parents. If someone she doesn’t know very well asks if she loves them she says, “No!!! I only like you,” and she only reserves saying love for special people in her life. Do other kids do this?

Answers and Views:

Answer by ratter35
I think most children grasp it in year2 of there schooling.

Answer by frostdash
if you are asking for a serious answer, i think we, people understood the difference between love and like by the time we are young adults…

Answer by kukkibaby
i feel from the time they come in this world… the only thing that if we ‘ve got hurt by som1 we keep it in our heart bt kid r much more kindhearted than us coz they know to forgive….

Answer by Dicktata
Not Mine. They just say what you want them too!

Answer by Velken
I think they learn it young, and forget it at puberty. All these girls with I Love Mikey written on their notebooks, or guys that say Love for sex. I don’t think people start figuring out what it really is until they’ve been married awhile, or have kids. Its such a mindblowing concept, love. If its really love, its hard to grasp a true understanding. It seems only the very young and very old are smart about that sort of thing. The rest of us are just good at throwing “like” and “love” around when we talk.

Answer by anwiltx
My son will be three in two months and I think he know the difference as well. He will say “I love you” to us and our family and people that he is around a lot that we say “I love you” to. He says “I like this” about things like his toys and such, but not “I love”.

Answer by Ra-cha-cha
Piaget, with his Theory of Cognitive Stages, would probably say no to a three year old thinking so abstractly. This kind of thinking, according to him, doesn’t happen until the “Concrete” stage — from about first grade (7 years old) to early adolescence.

“During this stage, accommodation increases. The child develops an ability to think abstractly and to make rational judgements about concrete or observable phenomena, which in the past he needed to manipulate physically to understand. In teaching this child, giving him the opportunity to ask questions and to explain things back to you allows him to mentally manipulate information.”

Of course, there are always exceptions!

Answer by superman41082
What is the difference? Does their need to be? Love trumps like every time, no matter the situation. I say the time when they learn to not love things is the time they lose their innocence. Many children tuly love everything, and are taught not to. I think in this case, the child should be the teacher. If this sounds strange, think about what love is. Define it in your own head. Take a second. It’s not very easy is it? Ther reason is most people do not have a real understanding of what it really is because they don’t truly practice it in their own lives. Love is acceptance. Complete and total acceptance with no need for reciprocation. In essence, love is setting something completely free, and children do this. They do not judge people for saying something dumb or wearing the wrong clothes or being socially inept. Many children simply accept everyone, and this is the path to enlightenment. Adults think that because they are now adults, that they know anything, but in actuality, you don’t grow up until you’re usually about sixty-five or seventy. Those who attain maturity or enlightenment years before this are a special few. A child should be allowed to love freely.

You say that your young girl picked up on a difference between the two, and I only can hope the best happens to her. I believe in that case, I do not believe the child has gained any knowledge. I believe she has lost it. To answer the question if other kids do this, the answer is yes. Some children say that they love some people, and like others, while some do not know the difference. However, every adult should learn acceptance and true love as many children do. Only when you can accept something, will it change. Love produces love. Fear and/or hate produce fear and/or hate.

I will end with saying that telling this child, or anyone for that matter, that they’re doing wrong and trying to change them is not love. In the case of teaching someone how to love, only example can do this. In fact, telling someone they’re wrong and needing to change them is the opposite of love. Love your child you babysit and love everyone around you. This is the stuff Jesus was made of(and I’m ironically not a Christian or devoted to any church for that matter). Jesuse loved. Therefore, everyone he loved, loved him and everyone else. They ‘paid it forward’ so to speak. Truly loving one person, will help that person love others, and so on until infinity. Quicker than you could possibly imagine, the human race will become more enlightened, and that will mark the end of war and selfishness. We will become more advanced beings. Love is the one of the two most powerful things in the universe, with the other being fear. Anything but acceptance is fear. So, when love is shown to someone, it is that person’s choice as to what they will do. Many people will choose fear instead, and mostly because fear is something they have known their entire lives. They fear letting go of fear, and in essence, they fear love, but the more exposure to love, the less they will fear it. Ridicule, even crussifiction may ensue because of love, but love is worth any price. With love, you can not taste death. Love is the meaning of existence, and without it, you are dead anyway. No wounds will hurt you. No words can confuse you. No circumstance can change you, when you have love on your side. Show your young child what true love is, and she will follow you. She has not seen enough to corrupt her into fearing love. Prevention is easier than repair. Good luck.

P.S. This post was just as much for me as it was for you.

Answer by kaloptic
Most kids deal in ‘like’ terms. I know I didn’t throw the ‘Love’ word around alot as a kid. It depends on the kid though, wether or not they grasp those fundamental concepts. All of our brains are wired differently, so it’s hard to pinpoint exactly at what age a concept is generally understood. Especially since alot of people spend their whole lives trying to figure it out. That being said, my answer is ‘anytime they are ready’.

Answer by Dave
I don’t think it’s extraordinary for one as young as this to know that “love” is something more than “like,” but I think it will be ten years or more before she understands the actual concept of love.