Theresa: Bride has asked me to cover up my tattoo for wedding?
Is this normal or asking too much?
Sorry but I think it’s rude. I love my tattoo, it’s on my inner arm in black script and beautiful, and now the bride is asking me to cover it up if I want to be in her wedding. Should I suck it up and do it? I feel like if she really cared about me and wanted me in her wedding, she’d take me as I am lol.
Answers and Views:
Answer by smart ass
And if you cared about her you would do as she says, especially when it’s only for a few hours and especially since it is her day not yours.
I wouldn’t. I have a tattoo on my inner arm and I would be offended if someone asked me to do that. I assume she knew you had it when she asked you to be in her wedding? If so, she should have thought about that before hand.
Good Luck.Answer by Saiyann Horde
I’m making one of mine cover her huge back tattoo up, and it’s her day not yours.
If you loved her, you would try to make her happy.
You’re being selfish.Answer by Megan
Talk to her about it remember you are getting married you will have to go through lots of these and by talking about it and not just taking it because it her day its both of yours maybe compromiseAnswer by Donot K
It is not your day but hers, which l am sure she has paid alot of money for. Grin and bear it for a few hours. I would rather go to a lovely wedding and have a great day then be stuck at home spitting my dummy because l wouldn’t cover up my body artwork.Answer by Snoot this!
yep! either do it or tell her you can’t be in it cause you are proud of your tramp stamp.Answer by Erin
I have my whole back done, and if someone asked me to cover it up, I would be offended.
Who is this woman to you?
Personally, I wouldn’t be in a wedding if something that superficial was going to be a problem.
How would you cover up this tattoo anyway? Seems like a difficult place, unless she wants you to wear a jacket of some sort….
I just don’t get why your tattoo would matter – sounds smallish and wouldn’t be that visible when your arm is down, like it should/would be during the ceremony.
Some people might say to suck it up – its her day, not yours – but I’d still be offended, so I feel your frustration 🙂Answer by Ilovelipstickx
it depends on where you’re tattoos are I mean it’s weird having tattoos in weddings where you show them it doesn’t suite the whole wedding thing. she will take you as a husband with you showing you’re tattoos as in you two alone together she will of course allow that to let you show it. even the streets she can allow you show it but not when you’re getting married.Answer by Messykatt
For some reason, this is a hot button issue. I can see both sides, but for the most part, I don’t like using a tattoo as a barometer of how much the bride “cares about you”. She obviously cares if she asked you to be a bridesmaid!
You don’t say how big it is, but if it’s really noticeable, I just don’t see the big deal, especially if she’s not a bridezilla type and it’s just something she thinks is distracting.
Even if I was a little annoyed, it wouldn’t be my hill to die on with a close friend.Answer by koukla rose
What else does she want you to do, lose/gain weight, or dye your hair? If she wants you to be in her wedding then what she sees is what she gets, you aren’t scenery or a decoration. I don’t even like tattoos but I think requests like this are ridiculous.Answer by Lafayette girl now and 4 ever
You should probably do it. I mean it is her Wedding, and it would like really professional on your part. If it was your wedding, and she had a nose ring or tongue piercing, or something you wouldn’t care for, would you ask her to do the same? I would say cover it up. It’s not going to be permanent, just for a few hours. I’m sure she does like you for who you are, thats why you were invited to this special event in the first place. But for her sake, just do it. =]Answer by Spunky
I can understand where you are coming from. Those of us who have tattoos and piercings are generally proud of them. I know I certainly love all of mine, and personally, would not ask anyone to cover a tattoo or take out a piercing. Unless it were extremely offensive, or the event was something really conservative and formal. I rarely attend anything conservative and certainly do not plan on having my wedding as such.
However, with that said. It is HER day. As a friend, you should respect her wishes. Covering your tattoo, does not make it any less meaningful. Cover it for the ceremony and photos. It may be a case of she wants uniformity. Or maybe she just doesn’t like tattoos, or maybe Great Aunt Gertrude will have a coronary, if she sees it. Just for the ceremony and the pictures though. At the reception, you should be able to show it. Its a party.
If you absolutely cannot cover it, or it offends you to the point of disliking her, then politely decline to be in her wedding party. If you do decline, for this reason, expect to no longer be friends. She will more than likely read it as, you don’t care enough about her to cover a tattoo, and will be angry. I am not judging, just saying, that is more than likely what will happen.
Good luckAnswer by Perse
It’s asking too much. I would be out of the wedding party and offended she asked.Answer by Becca
To the previous answerers, she isn’t claiming it’s “her” day! Wanting to NOT cover up your tattoos is hardly trying to make someone else’s wedding your day. If she wasn’t okay with your tattoos she shouldn’t have asked you to be in her wedding. Crap like this makes me more and more determined to have an “anti wedding”.Answer by Tricia G
Not everyone is going to love your tattoo as much as you do. Many people still consider a tattoo to be a distraction with formal attire. It’s like here is a woman with this very elegant fancy dress on, and then there is this black script tattoo that clashes with it due to the total informality of the tatt.
It’s one day. You can cover it up for one day. And this will not be the last time you’ll have to cover it up. You will have jobs in which you will have to always wear sleeves because your employers will not want to see your tattoo.
It’s one day. You can cover up for one day. You need to decide which is more important to you…your relationship with the bride (or groom) or having your tattoo visible. If random strangers get a vote, then I vote that you suck it up and cover it.Answer by Audra B
mmmm that’s a tough one. for one thing, it’s her day and even tho ur annoyed, she probably doesn’t want a visable tattoo in the pictures. i’m sure she loves u to death which is why she asked u to be in her wedding, so i might hafta say, suck it up for a few hours. i know u think it’s rude, which it kinda is, but i’ve been in her shoes planning a wedding and all. it’s ALOT of work and u want everything to look just perfect! so yeah.. it IS her wedding and i’m sure her family (or whomever) is paying several thousand dollars for this special day and wedding photographers also aren’t cheap (a few grand). she’s probably worried that the grandparents and the older guests will frown upon the tattoo (which, it’s ur body and i’m sure u don’t care, but they will). i’d say asking u to dye ur hair a certain color or something like that would be going too far on her part. i’d say deal with her. brides can be a huge pain in the butt but after all, it is THEIR day and u should be extremely honored to have been chosen to be one of her bridesmaids. it’s most definitely an honor.Answer by j
I feel like it’s asking too much.
A lot of people agree that it would be wrong to ask a bridesmaid to dye their hair or lose weight for a wedding…how is this any different? She’s asking you to change part of who you are. Also – it’s incredibly superficial. I have 3 tattoos & if I were asked to hide one I’d feel like my friend was embarrassed of me or didn’t approve of part of my personality. I can’t imagine doing this to a bridesmaid. I had a friend of mine ask me to grow my hair out so that I could be her bridesmaid…before she was even engaged! Needless to say, that friendship didn’t last long.
That being said…everyone is not like me or you. There are plenty of people who have their own opinions about tattoos & will judge others who have them. My mom has asked if I will cover up my tattoos for my wedding day…I told her of course not! Why would I pretend to be someone I’m not on my wedding day?? She is not very happy, but whatever. Your friend may be worried about what other people will think…maybe some older family members that aren’t so open minded & would be offended. If I were you, I would talk to your friend about it. Ask her why she wants you to cover up your tattoos & let her know exactly what you said here – that you feel that if she really cared about you & wanted you in her wedding, then she’d take you at face value & not try to change you into something you’re not. Just be honest & make sure it doesn’t turn into a dramatic conversation…if she starts to get upset about it, then I would just suck it up & tell her that you’ll cover it because you care about her.
& a side note: I don’t like how everyone is saying “it’s her day not yours”. I have no idea where bride’s get this idea that they have a day to do whatever they want & demand things from other people. They are asking the people closest to them to share in a special day with them…not to be their playthings. Besides, it’s not just one day – it’s the start of a lifetime with the one you love. Some brides really need to stop focusing on their “perfect day” & instead focus on the lifetime commitment they’re making. It’s not about a wedding…it’s about a marriage.
…& end rant. 🙂
I personally think it was okay for her to ask and now it is up to you to come back to her with your answer and for her, as a friend, to accept it. Just remember that although you have and love your tattoos, not everyone likes them and at a wedding there will be many of her and the groom’s family there who might really be against tattoos. Isn’t it better just to cover it up for a day to appease your friend? She isn’t asking you to remove it, just cover it.
In my mind she should be flexible on your choice of how to cover it though. If she insists on a professional make-up artist applying cover up then she should pay for it and maybe you two can work out an arrangement that you can uncover it once formal picture are done.Answer by Dreuid
This is normal, think about it would you want someone else’s tattoos in your pictures. I’m waiting until after the wedding to get my tattoo done. It’s hard to ask someone to hide something that means a lot to them and is a part of them, so think about how hard it was for her to ask you to cover it in the first place. If you really care for her, you’d suck it up and do it. It’s her day, why not do your part in making it perfect?Answer by Luv2Answer
I think that tattoos are a way of drawing attention to yourself, which is why you probably got it in the first place. It’s her day. She wants guests looking at her and people looking at pictures seeing her, not trying to make out what it says on your arm. Not covering it for her seems pretty selfish.Answer by ditto
I dont like it.
My fiance and I are tattoo enthusiasts. We LOVE them. A lot of poeple say they are trashy and clasless, but its OUR decision. We PAID for those, and by golly were going to show them off.
I have a wedding coming up in October and if anyone has tattos we would NEVER ask them to cover them up, I have one on my back and it will not be covered, even in my big white fancy dress. My entire family old and young are FINE with that.
I got each and every one of my tattoos for a reason. the represent something in me. Its my inner-art work on the outside.
Asking someone to hide who and what they are is just in bad taste if you ask me.
I would be really offended, and wonder if they are embarassed of you… and they knew you had the tattoo before they asked you to be in the wedding, didnt they?
Stuff like this makes me angry.. Brides asking people to change themselves for a wedding. at the end of the day isnt it just about being married to the one you love?
Not judging everyone else?
how rudeAnswer by ilikeitiloveit
Ok I first must ask….if it is on your inner arm and she is worried about it showing. Are her groomsmen not wearing a tux? Because I’m pretty sure if you were the tat wouldn’t be a problem But if I was you and the tat was a problem I would definitely just cover it up for the duration of the wedding and during the reception show it off then. Obviously she doesn’t want it to show and out of courtesy to her I think you should cover it up but let her know that you took offense to her asking you to 🙂
Best of luckAnswer by politically correct
It is a little too much, but at the same time, think of it as a professional courtesy. For example, at some work places (i.e. hospitals), attire must cover all body tattoos. But on personal time, you can wear whatever you want and show your tattoos to your hearts delight. Think of a wedding as her big professional event; after all, she has a right to dictate attire to all guests (i.e. black tie event, business casual, etc.), and in our culture, she basically dictates attire for her bridesmaids from head to toe.
Hang in there. She’ll go back to normal after the wedding.Answer by Libby
I completely agree with you.
However, your friend’s wedding day is one of the few days in her life that is all about her and this major milestone in her life. To tell you the truth, tattoos and formal wear don’t go together, so I’m surprised that you didn’t offer to cover it up on your own. If I had a tattoo, the first thing I would ask the bride who asked me to be a bridesmaid would be what she wanted me to do about my tattoo. My best friend who DOES have a tattoo (which I designed) asked me that… though hers is on her back so I didn’t mind it showing.
I would suggest offering a compromise with the bride. Instead of using makeup, which is a pain, suggest that the bridesmaids could all have shawls, which you can wear in just such a way that your tattoo is covered for pictures. Something like this: .Answer by drop_in_the_ocean_2006
Awhile ago when I was planning on having my one of my friends in my wedding she offered to cover up all three of her tattoos. She even asked which method I would prefer, so I think that if you really are a friend it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Its just for a few hours. I have nothing against people with tattoos and have even thought of getting one myself but there are times they can be seen and times that they are not necessarily ‘appropriate’ for and a wedding is one of those times. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t accept you the way you are .