Anyone go through a divorce and lived with ex for the kids sake after the divorce?

Mike: Anyone go through a divorce and lived with ex for the kids sake after the divorce?
i know someone who is getting a divorce, and doesnt love her ex anymore, but they are planning on living with each other as roommates for right now after the divorce for the sake of the kids, so as not to traumatize them. has anyone else ever done it or is doing it now, and what were your experiences like? she is seeing someone already.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Thumbs Down Magnet
I have family members who do this and I am telling you that in the long run, it is not worth it.

They cannot stand eachother so they constantly fight. They are teaching the kids to be hateful to one another and that it is okay to have no peace in your own home.

To divorce and seperate would be better unless they can get along without shouting at one another. I dont see how this is possible though.

Answer by vtjames7433
It wont be less traumatizing trust me. The best thing to do is go their separate ways and have the kids gain a new sense of normalcy which they will not get by the roommate thing.
If she is already seeing someone and isn’t divorced, I hope he gets full custody.
Oh I am divorced and we lived together for maybe 4 mths after making the decision and it was total hell

Answer by Alexia S
I think that is a really bad idea. Things are just going to get really bad. They need to stop it before it happens cause it will be just like they were married. They will fight and everything else. And they say they are doing this for the kids, it is only going to make it harder on the kids when things get bad and one of them has to leave. Stop it before it happens. What was the point of getting divorced then???

Answer by lou lou
my sister did for a few weeks but it never worked for them he got nasty and she had to move out! not saying that will happen to your friend but you cant move on when your living with your past! if you ask me its best the the children get used to the fact that mummy and daddy are living different lives they will soon get used to it kids are much cleaver then we all give them credit for if there parents are unhappy they will see that!

Answer by kenbgray
Why in the world would two people do that? That sends a real stupid message to the kids.

Answer by JOHNNY M
I’ve seen that happen but it was because they were waiting to sell the house and it took five years, and they both had live in friends

Answer by charlie
THAT situation IS NOT GOING TO WORK!! Unfortunatly they will find that out later. And as far as the kids go??? That situation will be even worse for them????? Why people think their doing this to protect the lids is BEYOND ME????? Their doing their kids more harm then anything!!!!!!!!!! Let the kids see that your not getting along. And that you’ve made a decision to move on with your life. Your not being honest with the children. This is only going to cause them relationship problems later in life!! Believe me>>I’ve seen it before. Your kids won’t die or become mentally disabled because your marriage didn’t work and you decided to move on. Their not only doing a real diservice to themeslves; Their also doing it to the kids!!!!!! AND THAT IS SAD!!!

Answer by Jack S
Well, I’ve known a couple who did this, but neither dated openly until the kids were out of the house. They remained married and did this for the kids. It worked out for them because they were able to respect each other and they agreed on how to handle things. I really admired them for this. Cut the dating out for now. There will be plenty of time for this down the road. Kudos on putting the kids first!

Answer by Fred B
I’m sort of in that situation. Neither one of us really wants to be in our marriage anymore, but we care for one another, have 3 kids, and have no family to help out if we separated. So, we live together as roommates and raise the kids.

It has good days and bad – better days now that it is out in the open that this is an arrangement and no one is looking for what you would get from a marriage. Neither one of us dates – this is crucial!

Answer by Conflicted
Divorced and doing it right now.

I stay in the master bedroom, and he is in the guest bedroom. Our boys know we are divorced. We are very civil–friendly, even. He is seeing someone and I am very much in love with a wonderful man. My boyfriend knows my situation, as does my ex-husband’s girlfriend. We don’t bring our friends around the boys.

It’s a good arrangement for now, and the boys have the benefit of seeing both their parents on a daily basis. When I have plans, the ex is there with the boys, and vice-versa. For instance, I’m leaving for Tampa tomorrow. Don’t have to worry about the boys, because they’ll be with their Dad!

It can work, but only if both parties don’t lose sight of what’s important–THE KIDS. I don’t care what he does, and I assume he doesn’t care what I do. We have always been a good team when it came to our children, and that hasn’t changed.