Why do I feel guilty and ashamed of loving myself?

Ashtro Turf: Why do I feel guilty and ashamed of loving myself?
I know that the solution to my problems is to raise my self-esteem, but every time I consider loving myself, I feel ashamed and guilty. So much so that I feel like I am ready to endure pain and misery rather than love myself. Any insights are welcome. Thank you.

Answers and Views:

Answer by No Real Help
Probably because you’ve been taught it’s not the “right” thing to do … and you believed it.

Answer by Duncan
I’m assuming that you’re a teenager. Not because I’m looking down upon your feelings, but because I felt those feelings most intensely during my adolescence. No matter what age you are, it’s tough to be positive about yourself when you find yourself unable to care, or even disliking yourself. If you are a teenager, I can only say that it really does get better. If you’re older, my best suggestion is to try finding a solution with the help of a psychiatrist.

Answer by Answer Dancer
Two reasons: your mother and your father. I don’t mean to be flippant, but nine times out of ten, a lack of self esteem comes from not being supported in childhood. What to do? I’d go to a therapist, myself, and talk about this. You have everything to gain and not much to lose.
Guilt is the gap between what we do and what we think we are supposed to do. A person who kicks a puppy feels guilty because he thinks it’s wrong to kick puppies. You feel guilty because you want to love yourself, but you have been taught you are not supposed to. What to do in guilt situations is change what you want to do or what the “supposed to” is. That way there’s not gap. So either you decide that they are right and you’re not worth loving — not my recommendation — or you learn to recognize that their way of making you feel you’re not supposed to love yourself was wrong.
Good luck.

Answer by sologretto
I would ask these questions:

Have you done something in this life that makes you feel that you are unworthy of love?

Have you experienced someone telling you repeatedly that you should be ashamed or guilty?

If the answer is no to both of these you may want to look outside the box (this lifetime). that last is weird and makes a lot of people uncomfortable, but our group has had a surprising number of habits/issues resolve amazingly quickly by looking in these areas. Obviously I would check THIS life first though. 😉

Answer by Athena
you do not need to love yourself in order to have a healthy self esteem. loving yourself too much can lead to arrogance.

Answer by shining light
Maybe you see your bad side, so you feel guilty?
You want to change everything, that’s why you hate yourself?
Go change them.. Little by little..
To be confident, all you need to do is relax.. Although it’s still hard in some occasion.. But keep trying..