What would you do if your spouse had a gambling addiction or was a conpulsive spender?

OceanBlue0910: What would you do if your spouse had a gambling addiction or was a conpulsive spender?
If the problems causes bills, rent or the mortgage to get paid late too often and the bank account was often being over drawn. Would you seek a divorce if the offending party refused to get help with the over spending problem or gambling problem? It is their own income so they me as having no rights to it even though their share is needed for the rent and bills.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Marie
Do whatever you need to do to protect yourself.

Answer by Answer King
o Remind yourself that you can’t “fix” the other person.
o Recognize compulsive spending as a sign or symptom of other conflicts in the person’s life that he or she isn’t coping with.
o Encourage the spender to find professional help or a self-help group.
o Involve yourself by reading about the problem.
o Stop discounting or belittling the other’s feelings.
o Stop policing the person’s actions or punishing the other.
o Stop rescuing the other or backing down when there is conflict.
o Practice unconditional acceptance and love.

More great information in the cited source.

Answer by Gia
DIVORCE

Answer by **Ghosty**
Hi – yes, I’d ditch and run. What’s the point of staying with someone who is in love with gambling, or addicted to anything like that? The unlucky spouse is always going to be second best.

A person like that threatens the welfare of their partner. Homes could be lost, goods re-possessed, credit ratings could plummet, word will get out that you are risky for loans or advances; no, it’s no good staying with someone like that. And what happens when the gambler/spender loses their job (and that can happen to anyone); will he/she start selling off the household goods, family jewellery, cars – all in order to pay for a bit more gambling or compulsive spending? No, too big a problem for me to sit back and watch.

Especially if the gambler/spender won’t even consider getting therapy for it! That would just tell me they don’t even see it as a problem.

Even if you loved such a person, you have to consider yourself in this. This would be a destructive relationship. Not my cup of tea at all.

If you live with someone who is a gambler and they earn their own money, it doesn’t matter if they tell you that you have ‘no rights’ to any of their money; they MUST pay their share of the bills and the rent, and other monetary peripherals. Okay, you might just about be scraping by NOW, but soon enough the gambling/spending outgoings get larger than the incomings.

All the best for the future.

Answer by La Enigma
get him immediate help

Answer by murrayskeeter
There are things you can do to save your marriage. I suggest you both take some marriage counseling sessions. All you need is for your spouse to be willing to try. So don’t despair if you are the only one trying to save the marriage. Good therapy will bring your reluctant spouse around to at least give the therapy a go.

Answer by Breaking Addiction
There are many stages to addressing and solving the problem. I suggest starting with this –