Frustrated Mom: What to do when a father refuses to allow child to participate in team sports during his parenting time?
Daughter is 9 and on a team. Father has alternating weekend parenting time. He refuses to take child to practices during his time. The child is going to be kicked off the team because you can’t do team sports on alternating weekends.
Answers and Views:
Answer by Deana M
The father sounds like a jerk but when he has custody of the child, he is in charge. Or you could call a lawyer and pay for guidance.
Just tell the father that participating in a team is more important for the daughter than spending time with a selfish parent. And he can also be part of the child’s life on the playground.Answer by Boobiesitter F
if the child wishes to participate YOU should take her. be the bigger person and suck it up.
i had two kids on two diff teams with games at the same time at two different fields across town from each other and the mother did not want to take one to a game… i had to stay at one game 20 mins, then run to the other game for 20 mins… back and forth and back and forth… until the games were over… people thought i was nuts, but i did it cuz the kids had wanted to play
i did it for the kids.
obviously the kids father is an asshole… don;t allow the kid to suffer for his assholeism
Answer by JoThis is always a tough one, because it is the poor kid that gets stuck in the middle.
I had a similar problem with my ex several years ago. He refused to take our son to the birthday parties of his friends on his weekend, because according to him “it is MY time with him”. He absolutely refused to discuss it. I left it alone for a while, but when my son finally started to indicate he didn’t want to go to dad’s, he’d rather go to the birthday parties (he was about 5 at the time), I used a lawyer to force my ex into mediation with a counsellor to discuss the issue (the ultimatum was that I was happy to take it to court if he didn’t go to mediation).
The counsellor in mediation finally got him to understand the importance of the social aspects of our son’s life, and my ex started to take him to the parties (I think he was also worried I would take him to court over it to change the visitation arrangements, and he didn’t want to have to pay for a lawyer).
Unfortunately, it is sometimes still an issue with our son’s sporting commitments – he plays rugby, and away games are sometimes over an hour away. However, due to other issues, I now have full parental responsibility (which is full legal custody, although with visitation arrangements), which means if my ex won’t take him somewhere he needs to be, and my son indicates he’s rather not go to dad’s, I can make the decision that he not go. He is also now 11, so old enough for his voice to be heard and respected by both of us.
It is very selfish of your ex to do this to your daughter. Is there a chance you can talk to the team coach and explain the situation? This is probably the least confrontational solution if it doesn’t bother your daughter that she is missing every other week. If it is upsetting her though, I would suggest getting some legal advice on how you might be able to resolve this. I don’t know how the legal system works in relation to visitation arrangements, etc where you live (I am in Australia), but our family court system requires mediation (or attempt at) before we can take it to court these days, and a solution can take months.
Answer by Uh huh, go on I’m listeningTake him to court, the judge will likely require that as part of his visitation.
Courts look very highly on children being active in sports and activities. The judge will likely view his non-participating ways as irresponsible, selfish and lazy parenting…
And (yes, they WILL ask him this) why him not watchin
The father should compromise. They can set the parenting time on the venue where the daughter should be. The father can watch his daughter while she’s practicing. I’m sure the kid will appreciate that.
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