How do I treat a co-worker whose brother is murdered?

the wizard of north Barrie: How do I treat a co worker whose brother has just been murdered?
a co worker just found out his brother was just murdered, of course there are certain things I should not bring up in conversation, but if anyone else out there can offer some help, that would be cool!

Answers and Views:

Answer by Penela
Don’t treat him any differently, but just be aware and understanding that he won’t be himself for a while.

Answer by Graybeard
Be sympathetic, and help in any way that you can. My father died when I was in the fourth grade, and only one person (the class clown) said anything… everyone else just ignored it, including the teacher.

Answer by baymast13
Depends how close you are with this person. If you are fairly close, offer your condolences, and tell him if there is anything you can do, or if he just needs to talk to somebody, you’re there for him. If you are not that close, just offer your condolences, and let it go at that.
This is an awful thing for someone to go through, and unfortunately, there isn’t much anybody can do to make it easier. Knowing that people care, and would help if they could, is appreciated, though. A lot of people tend to avoid someone who is grieving, because it makes them uncomfortable. Even though you can’t do much to help, don’t make the person feel more isolated than they already do.
If you are fairly friendly with this guy, ask if he’d like to “do lunch,” grab a coffee, or get a beer after work. Whatever is appropriate for your level of friendship. Occasionally ask how he’s holding up, or if there has been any progress on the investigation. Tell him you really hope they catch the creep that did it. Many people will avoid the topic at all costs, because they assume it’s painful. I think it’s beneficial to occasionally acknowledge that you realize your co-worker is still dealing with this daily.
If you are even remotely religious, you can pray to the God of your choosing to bring peace and closure to this family.
If the murderer is caught, you could get together with your other co-workers and try to get everybody to donate a day or so of vacation time so he can attend the trial. Most employers will allow this under such circumstances. Time and understanding are the best gifts you can give a person who is grieving a tragic loss.
Hope some of this helps. Good luck and God bless your co-worker.