Should I wait for him to be ready after his financial “adventures” are over?

I know best: Should I wait for him to be ready after his financial “adventures” are over?
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. We have been living together for almost 9 months. He has a daughter that visits every other weekend. My bf has decided to take his savings and use it as a down payment to buy a home. He currently owns a condo (where we live) & will be renting it when he buys this home. He wants to build a real estate portfolio. This house is going to tie up his money for a few years. Because it needs some rehab which costs $ $ $ . He told me flat out that he would not be able to marry me in the next few years b/c his $ will be all invested in his real estate “adventures”. He is 32 I am going to be 26 in a few months. He knows I want a family etc. I understand this is his priority right now & in the long term he can possibly be very wealthy b/c of the risk he is taking now. But do I put my dreams on hold and sit and wait? Also, are we being good rolemodels for his daughter by playing house and not getting married for possibly 4+ years?
The money needed to get married isn’t for a wedding… it’s for the engagement ring. He told me how his cousin couldnt get married for a few years even though he loved his gf a lot because his money was all tied up in financial “adventures” and she waited and now they are married with three kids. But my problem is that my $ is going to contribute to the household bills and yes I will put my own sweat and tears into this house too. But if he decides he wants nothing to do with me in the next couple of years I will lose everything. I told him this and he said well Im living there so I should contribute and it’s a price I have to pay if it doesnt work out. My concern is what if something else comes up and he invests his money again. He is all about making $ . He can also by that time change his mind about wanting more kids b/c he will be nearly 40.

Answers and Views:

Answer by Samantha
Any guy who would put his “financial adventures” before his girlfriend is not someone who is ready for commitment. Considering he’s already had a kid, this guy wants to take it easy and relax these next few years. You can either wait around or move on. I would do the latter!

Answer by sweetdreamin96
You already asked this question earlier. Sounds like he doesn’t want to make a commitment to you. Or he feels that with you living with him that you are already acting like a married couple and that it would be just a piece of paper. With just living together you have no legal leg to stand on in regards to property or investments.

Casius- if she is paying money towards the mortgage, then she should be able to get back her part of the equity if they split. It has nothing to do with being greedy, she works just as hard as he does for her money and she should be able to reap the benefits of her investment.

Answer by alexis88883
if you want to be married, it only costs a few dollars. If you want a wedding or an engagement ring, that is a different story.

Answer by celticbuddha
i see it like he does….if the risk is worth it to you then take it or leave it. but i’d suggest figuring it out asap.

as far as role models for his daughter. it isn’t about whether or not you are married. to a child marriage is far different than it is when you are an adult. as long as she has clear examples of people who respect, honor and love one another, as well as her, that’s all a child really needs besides food, water and shelter.

Answer by ritalcar
You are talking about marriage, which is SUPPOSE to last a lifetime…..what is 4 years out of the rest of your life?? You have a family right now….while the daughter is not yours, you care for her as your own. A ring is a ring…sure it holds a special symbol of love and commitment, but does a $ 50 vs. $ 500 ring change the amount of love you have for each other? It shouldn’t……

I would stick it out. Money is the root of all evil.

Good Luck.

Answer by truly
I think you know what you should do. Your boyfriend is basically saying to you that his risky “adventures” is more important that keeping you and making an honest woman out of you. He values you financial contribution more than he values you. The real estate business is very unstable right now, just open a newspaper. There are no guarantees. Instead of choosing to do this with you as “wife” he is choosing to go it alone and risky losing you (unless he thinks that you are too weak and dependent to leave).

What you want and what he wants are two different things right now. In my opinion, I would not feel good about a man who pretty much told me “it’s a price I have to pay if it doesn’t work out”. That is not a man who I think would put his family first and protect my and his child,s interest above all else. He has allow you to move in and play house while his daughter is watching and learning that she should settle for less and not expect a man to commit. If I were you, I would save myself and get out of there – love is apparently not enough.

Answer by pictureshygirl
You are risking too much without the benefit of marriage. Your boyfriend sounds to want all the benefits of marriage without the commitment. I think he is pulling a wool over your eyes and is only looking out for himself and his investments, with you being part of helping out with no guaranteed of anything for you. Don’t do it. If he really wanted to marry you he would even buy you a ring that is not that expensive. You’d be a fool to put your heart, soul and pocket book into this plan of his, when at the end he might not even marry you. He does not want marriage he wants his real estate and when he has all of this money he will find himself a young chick.. Trust me this is usually what happens, I don’t care what he says.

Answer by TM
If you love him, you’ll support him & take every step in life together. Keep in mind that he’s doing this not just for his future, but also for your future. He’s right that you have a risk to take, but who doen’t? Even married couples may get divorced. He’s sharing his dreams with you, that’s a way of showing he’s committed to you. If you feel insecure with his investment, have him to put your name on the new property title. If he loves you, he’ll do it. Otherwise, think twice before going further in the relationship.