GirlyGirl: Should I leave my fiance?
My boyfriend and are are 22 and 28. He is French and I am English and I have recently moved over here to be with him (but it would be easy to move back). We had a long distance relationship for a while although hard was managable with both of us not being jealous.
All was fine until I was using his computer and i saw loads of videos (sexual and non) and pictures of his ex. Emails he sent to his ex and inculding some emails whilst we were together. In one of these emails she tells him she is now pole dancing. He replies with “oohhh god you have to send me some videos of that!” she says that “the blonde girl on the picture on Facebook wouldn’t like that” he says “oh don’t worry she isnt jealous – i’ll say come on its just tits and ass!”. He told her she was beautiful etc. I know they wouldnt get back together, they were together for 3 years and she lives in Ireland.
The second thing I found recently was messages between a female friend of his who says “it is such a shame you are with her, I can’t flirt now” he says of course she can flirt. She asks about me and my body and he replies saying “oh she is slim with 32 DD breasts which is small and I don’t like small breasts” she says ” mine are much bigger I am sure you prefer them. To which he replies “Yeah I probably would but I haven’t seen them yet!”
I have told him what I have seen, how it has upset me and how I had so much trust in him before and that was how our relationship was so strong. I am a clever, attractive young woman and if he prefers other females should I just leave him to it? Am I wasting energy over a man who has done this? He is a very caring and nice individual so I am shocked at what has happened and I don’t know if I can be the same girl before now! I never was jealous or boring!
Since I have moved to France I wonder before I sign a contract for a job I should go back to England.
you dont know me – haha I guess his universe. I never had any problems with my boobs I think they are fine! I am a keen runner so I wouldnt want them to be bigger! But maybe he prefers that!
Answers and Views:
Answer by you dont know me
In what universe is DD considered small?
If I found out my husband was talking that way to an ex, or any female for that matter, I would be absolutely furious and I’d probably divorce him. That is disrespectful to you and your relationship. While I think there is a cultural element going on (Americans are much more uptight about sex than Europeans, for example) the fact is you are upset by it. I guess there are two questions. (1) If you were doing the same thing with an ex of yours and with other men, how would he feel? and (2) Are you better off with him or without him?Answer by Belly
Sounds like he likes trashy girls….do you want to be on that level? I wouldn’t marry someone that speaks to other women that way. It’s immature and disrespectful to you and to them.Answer by Lilly Salton
I think you should leave him. I highly doubt you are going to be able to gain the trust back considering not only has he been saying those things to other women, he’s also been talking about YOU to other women and has even put you down. Why would you want to be with someone who is putting you down to other women? That’s even another level of distrust. You can find someone a lot better then that and you’re just going to be hurt in the end. You even moved to be with him and left everything and look what he’s been doing! He has taken advantage of the trust you had for him and even if you do get some of that back you’re going to be suss on every women that he talks to. In other words, it’s always going to be in the back of your mind no matter how much you fix it. I don’t think you should stay at all, for your sake. He has no respect and you deserve better. Go back to England and don’t let him have the pleasure of staying with him while he has done these horrible, asshole things. Good luck!Answer by Brooke
If you have talked to him about it and he just brushed it off as nothing that is not right in the least bit… if it were me i would leave those are the first signs that he will cheat… i went through it with my daughters dad… and stupid me stuck around… it is better to get out now and break your own heart a little bit than to get out later and break it even more…Answer by S S
Go back home! You can do way better than this guy… It doesn’t seem like it now and I know you want him but you will meet someone else who will be better.Answer by Al B
You should leave your fiancee but you should also consider whether to sign a contract for a job would be good there or better in England. don’t let your personal life interfere with your working life if it would be better to sign the contract there for that job.Answer by Answerer
He definitely sounds like a cheater to me. He sounds like the type who can’t stick with one woman, he has to have them all (as long as they have 32DD sized breasts) kick this loser to the curb. You deserve to have a man you can trust.Answer by TeaLeaf
its obvious he’s seeing other women maybe its time you start see other men.Answer by morgan
Sounds like your fiance is jerk..I’m not sure what to tell you to do..But it sounds like he would cheat on you..So be very careful.Answer by ali b
You knew him through the computer (long distance relationship).he still continue his habit
if you accept that ,stay, but if you feel you could not tolerate that ,leave and search better life.Answer by EverTight
Well, it’s easy for me to say, but I would not want to be in a relationship with someone like that. I personally expect my man to commit fully to me, sure he may find other women attractive, I find other men attractive, but I do not flirt or talk about their bodies and so on. That is disrespectful and hurtful. I would never trash my man’s body and I would expect him not to do so to me.
Your fiance’s behavior now is not going to change if you marry him. Personally, I feel that you are young and have plenty of time to find a man who shares your same values and will commit to you and you only. Best wishes to you.Answer by say it all…
Have a conversation with him about relationship boundaries. Find out is he’s serious about the two of you…ignore their banter but make sure that it ends.Answer by Poppy
Yeah DD’s are pretty big where I come from. My ex had F’s though. Those things are almost to her waist now. Anyway, back to the question, yes. Leave him.Answer by Saya
Pack up and leave.Answer by BB
I think you should just leave him because he seems too “friendly” towards other girlsAnswer by boxingchica13
My advice to you is to break off the engagement. Just because you are not a jealous person does not mean that it is ok for him to contact other girls behind your back when you put full trust in him. If he is doing it now that you are not married imagine how he is going to be when you are. You are young to be married right now. You’re 22 and being with a man like this is not happiness for you. Go back to England and start your life with a new beginning. You deserve a man that will treat you right and will respect the fact that you trust him not take advantage of it just because you’re not jealous. Find a man who can respect you and show you how beautiful you are to him because this guy does not know how to do this at all. You need a man not a boy playing around.
I wish you the best of luck.